Step 4

[JR]

I've done this step more times than I can count, but it is definitely different this time. I'm very close to finding a sponsor, I actually asked a woman with 15 years sobriety tonight. We talked for awhile and agreed to meet at a meeting on Saturday. She wants me to meet her sponsor and ask her if it seems right. I have started writing, but I need some direction from a sponsor. The woman I spoke with tonight said she thought I should have someone with 20 years or more since that is how long I had been sober before I went out. I don't know if that is right, but I'm just going where I'm led.

I've been writing the answers to Clancy's 7 questions for the past two days. It really helped to get the wheels turning.

I'm going to work on the forms next. I had some forms of my own from a step study workshop my ex-husband and I used to do, but I like these better.

Easy Does It,

JR

[crickit]

The woman I spoke with tonight said she thought I should have someone with 20 years or more since that is how long I had been sober before I went out. I don't know if that is right, but I'm just going where I'm led.

I find it hard to judge someone on the length of their sobriety. My only prerequisite for a sponsor is 'Do you have what I want'. But of course I may be wrong LOL.

I have seen people that have 20 years sobriety and yes they have stayed sober but they certainly don't seem happy. I've have seen people with 1 year that have found more serenity and happiness than a whole AA group put together.

I look for the people that are obviously living the program, are happy joyous and free, and for a personal sponsor; around my own age and gone through similar experiences.

But then again, the perfect sponsor, could be right in front of you. Just do what feels right.

BB
Crickit

[JR]

Just to sort of get back on the topic of the 4th step.....

I really liked using Clancy's 7 questions. They really helped to get me started. Also, I would like to thank Dallas for all the helpful information and forms on the 4th step that are located on the home page of step12.com and stuff throughout the forum posts. With Clancy's 7 questions and Dallas 4th step forms and information I feel I have done a most thorough inventory. I really recommend the use of these tools.

I also read the information on step four in the BB and 12X12 to refresh my mind on the literature throughout the process of writing my inventory and make sure I was following all directions.

As far as quantity of sobriety vs. quality of sobriety that was brought up earlier, each journey is different. I remember one old geezer with 30 years of sobriety saying that the only people who don't think time matters are the ones who don't have any LOL.

I've only been sober since August 20, 2005. I want a sponsor who has been through the steps, has experience, strength and hope and who has a sponsor. My sponsor has all those things and for that I am grateful.

Easy Does It,

JR

[Dallas]

We may have lost our choice to drink, but we haven't lost our choice to recover. I believe it, when the old-timers say "Because of Alcoholics Anonymous, you never have to drink again... if you do the deal." Our book tells us "It works -- it really does." The only variable is if I work it and allow it to work me.

I had to make a decision. Was I really willing to go to any lengths to be free from alcohol? There were many, many, many times... that I had to remind myself of my decision. And, my decision would have been like the blowing wind had I not been willing to take the actions necessary to not have the drink.

Thanks for letting me share.

Dallas

[JR]

Dallas,

Amen brother

XOX,

JR