Step 4 & 5

12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.
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Step 4 & 5

Postby Jools » Mon May 25, 2009 8:55 am

I completed steps 4 & 5 finally. Dallas posted in another message these steps after we complete step 5.

You might want to pre-read pages 72 through 76, halfway down the page, and make an outline for what to do next.

It will go something like this:

1. Meet with the guy that you're going to do the 5th with & spill your guts, and don't let him off the hook easy -- be sure you also tell him "all your life story" (pg 73)

2. Follow the precise instructions on page 75, paragraph 2. And, be sure to stop reading at the end of paragraph 2.

3. Go home, or where ever you can find a place where you can be comfortable, undistrubed and quiet for an hour.

3. a. Then place your Big Book on a shelf where you'll have to reach for it to take it down to do some reading.

4. After the hour is over (60 minutes... not 62 or 53 minutes)... turn to page 75, last paragraph -- and follow the instructions in that paragraph precisely... without reading further in the book.

4. a. The page that it's referring to... that has the 12 Steps on it (for the first five proposals) is page 59, in the Big Book.

5. Only after you have answered ALL of the questions in that last paragraph on page 75 -- then, you can turn to the top of page 76, and follow the instructions in the first paragraph at the top of page 76.

6. AFTER you've followed the instructions in that paragraph -- then read the following paragraph -- and follow those instructions.

Once you're finished with that -- be sure to check in with us and give us an update.

For me, when I did it in that precise order -- it really rocked me! Oh what an experience!!! It was really powerful and left me speechless. And, that's the precise order that we follow when I take people through the 12 Steps.... just following the detailed, precise instructions in that book -- and it's guaranteed to rocket you into a dimension of living that's absolutely mind-blowing and producing the necessary transformation in thought and attitude to get you over the drinking part of the problem!

I didn't do this afterwards and I didn't know I was supposed to as I had not read anything here about step 5. My bad, but also my sponsors. I feel kind of robbed because I didn't come home and reflect for an hour or read anything. Should I go over my 4th now and do all of this?

Thanks for listening,

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Postby DiggerinVA » Mon May 25, 2009 3:25 pm

Dr Bob says keep it simple. I described to you my 4 and 5 in a PM and it worked for me (my sponsor said about 5 Minutes and I went to bed for the day). But the 4th is written it is done, and as Dr Bob also said there is time to do it again later if something is missed. So I would feel you are still on the right path. Just keep working them. If you want it, it will be yours. ;-) I think you do.

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Postby Dallas » Tue May 26, 2009 2:13 pm

Another discovery that I made about me... was... I was nearly always boxing myself into a corner by limiting myself to "either / or" options.

What I means is: Something had to be right or wrong, left or right, up or down, either -- or. I called that my "ridged thinking." And, it kept me living with limitations that I later discovered were unnecessary for me.

I didn't know that it was okay to choose: Up and down. Left and right. Black, white, gray and green... instead of only picking one -- black or white. :lol:

Funny... how in an ice cream store... I made room in my life for flavors and variety and trying new flavors in addition to sticking to my favorites.

So, what's it all got to do with Steps 4, 5, 6, and 7???

Well... sometimes people will ask me "I did a particular Step this way... and not that way... and I'm confused about what I should do now... because I have a conflict that I can't solve! I already did the Step... now it's too late! What do I do?"

My answer is: Why don't you try both ways? You did it one way... now, try it out a different way... and see what happens. In other words: Instead of "either / or"... why not "both"? You may discover that one way works better for you and it was the way that you didn't try. Or... you might try the other way and discover that it wasn't as good for you as the first way.

Either way... trying something different was okay. I could do "both". And, see what happens.


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Postby Jools » Wed May 27, 2009 10:01 am

Thanx for your input, Dallas.

I did just what you said. After I posted this I went to my room, sat for an hour and reviewed my resentments and prayed for each one. I asked God to help me show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that I would cheerfully grant a sick friend. How can I be helpful to him/her? God save ME from being angry. I reviewed my fears, my defects, etc. Then I thanked God from the bottom of my heart that I know Him better.

I reviewed the first five proposals to make sure I hadn't omitted anything. I came to the conclusion that my work is solid so far.

I feel at peace with God.

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