- Define "getting rid of resentments"

Define "getting rid of resentments"




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Postby Susan68 » Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:55 pm

Dallas wrote:God loves all those that are willing to cause me pain.


No pain, no gain my friend.

I'm glad God is still lovin' me. 8)
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Postby sunlight » Mon Jul 06, 2009 5:27 pm

Wish I had more of an opportunity to post, but I have to jump in on this one!

Dallas is absolutely right about a complete change of thought & attitude being the key to trash-canning those resentments.

I never would have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself and am still experiencing it. By taking the steps and continuing to take them and practicing the principles, something happens that transforms me. I deliberately keep from analyzing it , because it's so far beyond my comprehension! But, it's a fact, a reality, ( the GREAT REALITY ) and it's been proven in my life and those of many others that I know.
( Please see my post in the AA Recovery forum under the topic, "Is Sobriety Enough?" November 20, 2008, for an example. )
Most times, I just am in awe at the Power that is available to us in this simple program! :D

The events of my life right now are enough to make one go off the deep end! One for-instance - I could lose the job I just got! But, I have learned how to swim, and float, and build an ark and maybe I'll even learn to walk on water if that's necessary. :wink:

( No worries about Dallas, Susan. He's the best & an alcoholic just like us. :wink: )

Keep shining! :arrow:
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:58 am

Sunlight wrote:I never would have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself and am still experiencing it. By taking the steps and continuing to take them and practicing the principles, something happens that transforms me. I deliberately keep from analyzing it , because it's so far beyond my comprehension! But, it's a fact, a reality, ( the GREAT REALITY ) and it's been proven in my life and those of many others that I know.


Hello Sunlight. So great to hear from you. If there is something we can do to help you be in a position to be able to post more often or to check in here on the site... please let us know. We may... "may" be able to help.

I'm going to copy the quote above and add it to the "Heard in Meetings" or Quotes section... it is so profund the way that you have described it. I identify and relate!

Sorry to hear that Life is dishing up some difficulties in your path. Remember... we may not have it all together -- but, together we have it all. Please let me know through PM, if there is anything I can do to help you.

As you share your difficult experiences -- and the way that you are handling them as you trudge the path that your presently on -- you become like a Scout, out in front of us... reporting back on the Journey of what you have discovered ahead, and how you overcame the difficulties... so that one day, maybe even today, right now... some of us who are sharing similar experiences on Life's path.. can gain, and receive help and understanding that will better help us in finding the footsteps that you've left behind for us to follow.

Thank you for your sharing and your participation in my sobriety, recovery and life!!

Dallas
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Postby tim-one » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:26 am

Sunny wrote:
Dallas is absolutely right about a complete change of thought & attitude being the key to trash-canning those resentments.


HEY, I said that! Wait ... I read that some where ... like pages 64-67. Specifically pg. 66, "resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal!" ... "If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for the alcoholic these things are poison."

(I looked up brainstorm. I'm sure the definition the BB refers to is "1 : a violent transient fit of insanity". Another dictionary says, "A sudden state of confusion" I'm SURE it didn't mean, "A bright idea" :wink: ).

Aw, shoot, I'll let Dallas say he read it, too. :wink:

I question (but don't criticize) people who say they "did" step 4 in a day. Must be 18 years old and lived in a closet. :lol: Ok ... I'm projecting my 56 depraved years. :P

After readin pages 65-67, I knew it wasn't enough to DO step 4. Didn't matter if I just KNOW those things are in me. The purpose of knowing is to HAVE THEM REMOVED. THAT ain't easy. Takes time and pain.

It's a continuing effort, awareness, for some to be worked out of me as HP does His job. The result will be a complete change of mind, attitude, heart, and spirit ... FREEDOM ! My security balnket stinks anyway from holding it too close. I don't need it any more to keep from making myself vulnerable. It was actually the fortress that kept me from enjoying the wide open wonders of the world.

YOU GO, GOD ! DO YOUR STUFF ! I ain't afraid. Ya got me! Take it!

Love y'all. I'm lovin' this mental exercise. Or is it exorcize? HHmmmm ...

Tim1
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Postby DiggerinVA » Tue Jul 07, 2009 1:59 pm

Working the steps is the real answer. The changes can be amazing.

I will use a friend as an example. This person has been in and out of AA meetings for 31 years. With a stretch run of 10 years with out a drink. But they had not worked the steps. So I'm going to see a Back 2 Basics seminar and they ask if they can go. I say if you are going there to do the steps then sure. So we go and on the way back they make a phone call to tell some family members that they need to plan Fathers day, that they were not going to do it. The family members were very surprised(this person always ran the show). Now this person planned like nobodies business, it has been described as a nervous tic. They did not even realize what they were doing. The 7th step is very powerful, It was said exactly as it is in the Big Book.

I realize that this is not a resentment. The basic answer is the same. Work the steps and let God do his part. After all who knows what needs overhauling more than your creator.
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Postby DiggerinVA » Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:14 pm

tim-one wrote:Sunny wrote:
Dallas is absolutely right about a complete change of thought & attitude being the key to trash-canning those resentments.


HEY, I said that! Wait ... I read that some where ... like pages 64-67. Specifically pg. 66, "resentment is infinitely grave. We found that it is fatal!" ... "If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for the alcoholic these things are poison."

(I looked up brainstorm. I'm sure the definition the BB refers to is "1 : a violent transient fit of insanity". Another dictionary says, "A sudden state of confusion" I'm SURE it didn't mean, "A bright idea" :wink: ).

Aw, shoot, I'll let Dallas say he read it, too. :wink:

I question (but don't criticize) people who say they "did" step 4 in a day. Must be 18 years old and lived in a closet. :lol: Ok ... I'm projecting my 56 depraved years. :P

After readin pages 65-67, I knew it wasn't enough to DO step 4. Didn't matter if I just KNOW those things are in me. The purpose of knowing is to HAVE THEM REMOVED. THAT ain't easy. Takes time and pain.

It's a continuing effort, awareness, for some to be worked out of me as HP does His job. The result will be a complete change of mind, attitude, heart, and spirit ... FREEDOM ! My security balnket stinks anyway from holding it too close. I don't need it any more to keep from making myself vulnerable. It was actually the fortress that kept me from enjoying the wide open wonders of the world.

YOU GO, GOD ! DO YOUR STUFF ! I ain't afraid. Ya got me! Take it!

Love y'all. I'm lovin' this mental exercise. Or is it exorcize? HHmmmm ...

Tim1


On the definitions of the Big Book. A girl in a meeting was pointing out how a 1939 dictionary sured helped with understanding it. She is right. There are even terms and phrases in it that are from The Oxford Group, which are undefined. The more I read the Oxford Groups writings the more the Big Book make sense, and these phrases stick out.

Tim-One read the story "He Sold Himself Short" and see how long the whole process took.
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Postby gunner48 » Tue Jul 07, 2009 2:33 pm

Have to jump in on the grouch and the brainstorm. I have used this to understand IT. I looked up in dic. of 1936 once and got that grouch meant to sit back and BITCH, MOAN OR COMPLAIN and brainstorm means to plan a action of retaliation. That is exactly what I did. If I got mad or upset I would sit for HOURS OR days trying to figure out how to get back at you. Pure poison for me.
I wish all peace and comfort. If I could take away your pain with a magic wond I WOULD NOT> That would rob you of opportunity to recover from the hopeless state of mind and body we come here with.
Until I Admitted (Assume ownership) that I am Alcoholic, little or nothing can be accomplished. Until I ran up the white flag of defeat, I was not willing to do the things required of me to get better.
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Postby tim-one » Tue Jul 07, 2009 3:06 pm

Thanks, Digger. I'm read'n.

I'll look for Oxford stuff. I've been keeping my lazy-eye open for it. I'll actively seek it finally.

And I like the idea of an old dictionary. I have some definitions of BB words that aren't common these days and have even changed in intent over 70 years. But they don't cover all of the words I look up.

Thanks for the info, guys. I appreciate it.

Love,
Tim1
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Postby Dallas » Tue Jul 07, 2009 5:39 pm

Nice to see that we have some good healthy and wholesome AA history discussion going on here! Thanks Digger & Gunner!

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Postby DiggerinVA » Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:41 pm

I have some real personal reasons why I began to search for the old ways. My Grand Mother was a AA who got sober in about 1950. I began with a Big Book that she gave my father in his 16th birthday. It is amazing how 23-24 pages in a book can change your life. I began with the old stories as well. When I got to AA I was confused because they sad Don't drink and go to meetings. They did not want to apply the solutions that are laid out in the Big Book. My Grand Mother practiced two-way prayer (part of her 11th step) which is termed in the Big Book as Taking Guidance(and Oxford Group phrase). It is truly amazing what that can do in you life.
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Define "getting rid of resentments"