- Step 2

Step 2




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 09, 2010 10:13 am

I call it the Kirby Effect. I made a little crack in my mind to open it and God's Shop Vac sucks the gunk out -- leaving room for the good stuff to soak in!

My Step 2 and Step 3 was similar to what Sermon wrote about above.

When we stay sober too long before taking the Steps we lose the desperation that we had when we cried out "I'm willing to do ANYTHING and go to any lengths!" The motivation is gone -- the insanity of Ego creeps back in -- and we begin to stall -- figuring, "Well. Maybe... I'm not as bad off as I thought I was! Maybe -- rushing through these Steps is a bit of a drastic idea!" So, we procrastinate and put it off. The storms of our life blow over -- the day gets sunny -- the weather warm, nice and pretty -- and then, suddenly it's "Man! A cold one sure would be good right now!" And, we discover that we just had our next first drink.

Or... we stay sober... life is reasonably good... we paused on our Step work, and suddenly out of the blue two Tornados and three Emotional Hurricanes plop into our life -- and we're not prepared for it and have no foundation or experience w/ the Steps in how to get through the F-5 Storm that's staring us in the face.

The insanity became -- thinking that we were alright -- before the storms.

I came across this again, last night while re-reading in the 12 & 12:

"Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction -- could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty and genuine humility" ~pg 59, 12&12.

Right before it -- it was discussing how -- we couldn't even trust and rely on our own thinking.

Now the kicker -- this is the stage we're in at Step 5!!!

At Steps 1, 2, 3, 4, myself and many of us were applauding our own progress! "Well! I sure am getting down w/ this now!" :lol: :lol:

And, the indication above is, before Step 5: we hadn't even "set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty and genuine humility" (Of course... which one of us would not have argued at that!) :lol:

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Postby PeaceJoy » Thu Sep 09, 2010 1:25 pm

Step 2 and step 3 .......one thing I've been thinking about is the ego thing. When I walked in AA door and to this day I feel like I am a door mat. I feel like the opposite of the conceited big ego I think of. I discussed this and it was explained to me that thinking of ourselves as better than others isn't a right-sized ego which was obvious to me. But thinking of ourselves as LESS important than others isn't a right sized ego either. We are our Higher Power's creation. We are perfect in HP eyes. Putting ourselves behind everyone else all the time is discounting that fact. There needs to be a balance, ie. right-sized ego. When I don't take care of myself and my sobriety, running around taking care of everyone else, I am saying to my HP that I'm not as important as His other creations. This creates an imbalance and my ego gets off kilter. But it still is an overblown ego in a sense, because I am saying "everyone in my life isn't as strong as me. They need me to take care of them. They need me to do for them. They aren't as capable as me. " When I do that my ego is huge. Even if I feel overwhelmed, stressed with taking care of everybody else I feel the Earth will go into a holding pattern without MEEEE. This is exhausting and stressful, so that gives me the perfect excuse to have a drink, right? Gosh, I can find all kinds of excuses. Good ones too! :lol: So I am working on giving it over to my HP and focusing on my sobriety and doing what my HP tells me. I am trying to *let* my HP take care of everyone else. I hope this made sense. I know it helped me.

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Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 09, 2010 11:04 pm

Thanks for sharing it! I understand and relate. :wink:
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Postby Bensober » Sun Sep 12, 2010 10:33 am

I understand and relate too Peacejoy. That is a perfect description of the harmful consequences of co-dependency. I struggle with this all the time and have to put into check my ego while giving to my self and others. Part of my “recovery discoveryâ€
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Postby chrissy » Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:16 pm

I'm having a bit of a problem with folks who refuse to believe that I had taken the first three steps before I walked back into an AA meeting. I had been sober for many years and relapsed. I had turned away from God throughout my relapse. It was torturous, and the few times I attempted to get sober, I was not sincere about it. There was still more pain to be had.

When I had completely surrendered, I not only believed, but knew, that HE, my God, would restore me to sanity, and made a decision in that split second when I made the call to my old AA friend, that I would turn my life over to the care of God and go to any lengths to remain sober. The desire to drink was lifted from that moment on.

Why is that so difficult for some people to understand? Am I missing something?
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Postby Larry H. » Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:41 pm

chrissy wrote:I'm having a bit of a problem with folks who refuse to believe that I had taken the first three steps before I walked back into an AA meeting. I had been sober for many years and relapsed. I had turned away from God throughout my relapse. It was torturous, and the few times I attempted to get sober, I was not sincere about it. There was still more pain to be had.

When I had completely surrendered, I not only believed, but knew, that HE, my God, would restore me to sanity, and made a decision in that split second when I made the call to my old AA friend, that I would turn my life over to the care of God and go to any lengths to remain sober. The desire to drink was lifted from that moment on.

Why is that so difficult for some people to understand? Am I missing something?


Chrissy,

My experience has been that sometimes "difficult to understand" is simply a front for ENVY. It did not happen to them so in thier minds it could not have happened to you. Bill W. had the experience you talked about, Dr. Bob did not.

I had a somewhat different problem with step 2. I had an absolute faith that God could restore me to sanity but I was very doubtfull that he would. I knew the bad things I had done while drinking and my concept of God was the punishing God of the old testament. I felt I was the gnat and he had the fly swatter. It was only a matter of time in my mind.

Then I started hearing people sharing in AA meetings what it was like, what happened and what it is like now. I heard people saying they had done the same things I had and yet God restored them to sanity. I started to have a little hope that if God did it for them then he just might do it for me.

Ever so slowly my understanding of God changed from a punishing God to a loving Father. I frequently share that I learned about a punishing God in the sanctuary of a church and about a loving God in the basement of a church (AA Meeting Rooms).

Larry,
-----------------
Only God can turn a mess into a message
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Postby Dallas » Fri Oct 01, 2010 9:02 am

I'm having a bit of a problem with folks who refuse to believe


When I care about what other people believe -- I'm letting them live in my head -- and I'm paying their rent to live there. Evict them out of your head and the problem is over. If they have a problem -- it's their problem -- not mine.

I often read the Forward to the first edition, BB, just to remember this sentence: "Many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person." AA has a few alcoholics in it. :lol: They could be restored to sanity if they worked at it -- and just because they haven't had their sanity restored -- it's not my problem. I don't have to love them. I don't have to like them. All I have to do is get along with them. :lol: And, sometimes, the best way to get along with them is to smile, be nice, and ignore them. :wink:

If I wanted a little ammo for the argument -- I'd reply with: "Haven't you studied AA History? When AA was started, newcomers couldn't even attend a meeting -- until they had done the equivelant of Step 3. Too bad they didn't make you take Step 3 before they let you in!" :lol:

Another one I use is: "I've got a sponsor and I'm not interviewing for a replacement. Maybe you should talk to your sponsor about it -- if you have one." SMILE!!! :lol:
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Postby chrissy » Fri Oct 01, 2010 10:44 am

Ha ha, Dallas! Good ones! :-) Allowing people to rent space in my head... not good. Don't hear that one often anymore. Too bad. It makes a lot of sense.
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Step Two - Take it easy...

Postby BostonGuy » Mon Nov 01, 2010 5:52 pm

I struggled with this step. My Sponser would suggest that I take it easy, the hoop isn't as big as I think, just keep coming don't drink. Little by slow things started to change.....

I didn't believe in God or a Higher Power. God didn't answer my prayers. Of course it wasn't until I was sober and in recovery (for a while) that I understood that God wasn't interested in my prayers when I was drinking....

1) GOD, PLEASE extend the sale on Clan McGregror Scotch one more week!!

2) GOD, PLEASE cure this Hangover quickly. GOD, PLEASE don't let me puke AGAIN!!!

Heard a good one the other night at a meeting. Sponsee was telling his Sponser that he was struggling with the Higher Power thing. Sponser takes Sponsee to the window to view a gorgeous sunset. Sponser says to Sponsee "can you do that?"

Humility was another wall I had to climb, my Sponser said the Humility isn't thinking less of myself, it is just thinking of myself less often.

Don't Drink, Keep Coming.

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Postby Bensober » Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:23 am

Thanks Boston Guy for your share. Feel the power and awesomeness of it all. In coming to believe that a power greater than me could restore me to sanity, was a process that was real humbling for me too! I didn’t get it the first time around and eventually fell.

What I know today is that to be sane (the Greek for sanity is “Sanusâ€
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Step 2