- 3rd Step Assignment...

3rd Step Assignment...




12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.

3rd Step Assignment...

Postby SoberBob » Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:23 pm

I'm having a bit of difficulty with an assignment my sponsor gave me while I'm working on the third step, and was wondering if anyone else has come up against the same dilemma...

He's asked me to write down things that are "My Will" and things that are "God's Will" as I come across them in everyday life.

I wrote up a bunch of stuff that I thought qualified, and I think I "sort of" hit the mark on a few... but I'm curious if anyone has any insight into picking out the difference between the two?

Thanks in advance for any experiences/thoughts you can share! Off to a meeting now... even though I don't want to go, I think this is one of those times when it's God's will for me.
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Postby DiggerinVA » Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:29 pm

Curious. I feel that the 3rd Step is a Prayer. It is about asking God to remove my self will and replace it with His. And at that point I would not have had a clue what was God's will and I am still learning that. One more note; what was once my will is no longer. Sorry I can not help, just my curious thought.


From Page 63 in the Big Book.

We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.note May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
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Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 21, 2010 12:38 am

God's will for me -- as I discovered it in the Big Book is:

1. Stay sober.
2. Trust God
3. Clean up the wreckage of my past and present.
4. Help others. (I can't help others if -- I'm still hurting them).
5. Live a sober life -- with sanity, serenity, happy, joyous and free.

When I wake up and pray in the morning... asking ONLY for the knowlege of God's will for me and the power to carry it out... that list of five -- is always at the top of my list. Which means He has already given me the knowlege of His will for me.... I had it before I asked for it!

The power to carry it out? He already gave me that, too -- provided I stay close to Him -- He will provide what I need.... "if" I'm taking the actions.

The guidance from Him... that's what I'm really looking for... one day at a time, and one moment at a time... one breath at a time, and one heart beat at a time.

The guidance is what He gives me -- is what is automatically being given to me, when I reach Step 10. But, I shouldn't expect any guidance, sanity, serenity, peace of mind, or even happiness and joy... until I get to Step 10.... By getting to Step 10... I didn't even have to fight off the temptation of alcohol... because the problem, my obsession with alcohol, has been removed for me -- it happens automatically.

Also, when I got to Step 10, I discovered... that "my will" that I turned over to God in Step 3, was returned to me from God... at Step 10. At Step 10, I discovered, that I was to use my will -- and my brains in my every day living. Also, at Step 10, God gave me some Powers... that I could begin to use in my life to live life more effectively, more productively, and intuitively.

At Step 11... I discovered that I was supposed to start having a plan for my life... and planning my life, and that He would guide me... in carrying out those plans.

That's about all I know about God's will for me.

My will -- I discovered in "at" Step Three... was "my thoughts, my wants, my desires"... My life... was: "my actions... and the total results of my actions."

So, if my sponsor asked me now, "what is God's will for you?" I'd simply give him my list of Five.

If my sponsor asked my what "my will" is currently... I would give him my list of Five.

By doing this and by living this way... I discovered, that now... as a result of "taking the Steps" my will for me and God's will for me -- are the same thing! :lol:

I couldn't make those discoveries and have those things happen to me by "practicing the 12 Steps." I tried it that way -- and I simply ended up drunk again, and unable to get sober again.

However, when I was given another chance at sobriety... and the opportunity to "do it different than I did it before"... I "took the Steps"... and as a result, of "taking the 12 Steps"... I am now able to live a life, sober, happy, joyous and free, by "practicing the principles that I discovered when I took the 12 Steps."

I discovered that there is a "HUGE DIFFERENCE" in "taking the Steps" and "practicing the principles of the 12 Steps."

I also discovered... that most people, just like me... will NOT be able to really grasp and understand fully -- what I just wrote about "the difference of taking the 12 Steps and practicing the principles of the 12 Steps" until AFTER they have "taken the Steps."

This is normal. Why? Because most of whatever I thought I understood "before" the Awakening that takes place at "Step 12"... I had to throw out with the trash. It was loaded full of my "old ideas" that were infecting the new ideas that I was getting.

Why and how does this relate to the original question, regarding "will" above, and "Step 3"?

1. Everything that we need to know about "self-will" is told to us on page 60, at the bottom of the page.

2. If we want to satisfy our curiousity... we can read from the bottom of page 60 up to 63.

Question: "What is self-will"
Answer: "MY - thoughts, desires, and wants." (what I think).

So, if I look at the bottom of page 60 again, I see the warning...

"I will not be able to be successful... or live my life successfully... "SOBER" by using "my existing thoughts" (my will).

My existing thoughts -- that I had at "Step 3"... had to be tossed out completely and absolutely. I couldn't do this on my own. Self cannot fix Self. So, I had to have God's help. And, "how" did God help me? "God gave ME the tools to use" (His 12 Steps) to bring about a "transformation of my thoughts and attitudes" (my will) so that I could recover.

If that doesn't make sense -- don't expect it to make sense. :lol:

It's NOT about thinking -- IT'S ALL about actions!

Dallas
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Postby DiggerinVA » Sun Mar 21, 2010 7:28 am

Dallas I like your thoughts on the subject. But that is allot to process in early recovery. When I took my 3rd step I truly did not know what I was getting into. I just knew it worked for others before me (Step 2) and I did it and I am glad I did.

Dr Bob once said Keep it Simple. :wink:
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Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 21, 2010 11:00 am

I understand. :wink:

It's NOT about thinking -- IT'S ALL about actions!

Information is for thinking. When we get sick and tired of thinking we look for something else to DO.


Dallas
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Thanks, guys!

Postby SoberBob » Sun Mar 21, 2010 1:59 pm

Wow, lots of great stuff, and yes, definitely a lot to process!

Dallas, that was an amazing post, I got a lot out of it even on my first read through... and I'm going to ponder and read it a bunch more times, which is the approach I've been taking with the Big Book too- the more I read, the more I get out of it.

Your list of 5 completely makes sense and brings some much needed structure to some of the feelings/thoughts I've been having as I've wrestled with this.

I've gotten some small measure of serenity and hope already, just from working with my sponsor and reading the book together, and in working the first two steps. I can only imagine how cool it will be once I get to step 10 and beyond.

Thank you, that really helped a lot!!!!
:D
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Postby Dallas » Sun Mar 21, 2010 2:43 pm

I'm glad it helped Bob.

My very first sponsor told me "Dallas, if I ever tell you anything that can not be found in the Big Book, or is different than what is in the Big Book, then you do whatever is in the book and discard whatever it is that I've told you."

He went on to say, "The Big Book is our Official Guide. It IS the authority on the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and if you stick with what's in the book you'll be just fine."

I never forgot those suggestions and I pass them on to each person I sponsor. "ALWAYS go with what's in the book -- regardless of anything I or anyone else says to do. We can be wrong -- but the book will always be right."

Bob, it's encouraging to see your approach and how you are reading the Big Book, and re-reading it over and over again -- to keep your recovery and your understanding in line with what's in the book.

Because of this, you will become a greatly needed resource in Alcoholics Anonymous that will be able to help many others to achieve sobriety, maintain sobriety, and to continually be recreating their lives for the better!

I'm glad you're here!

Dallas
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Thanks Dallas!

Postby SoberBob » Mon Mar 22, 2010 8:10 pm

Thanks for the kind words Dallas! I appreciate the warm welcome to the forum and your insight and experience.

I'm meeting with my sponsor tomorrow to take the third step and begin on the fourth, which I'm looking forward to starting.

See y'all around the forums, and thanks again for everyone's posts!
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Postby Dallas » Tue Mar 23, 2010 2:48 pm

I'm excited for you Bob! You're in for a real treat!!!

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