Sad to say, that over the years I've seen it often. And, the truth is: I could be the next one. Sometimes, people will laugh or scorn when I say that -- or they'll say "how does that give anyone hope?" Well, hope -- without truth -- is nothing more than fantasy.
I say Fact for Me... because you may not consider it fact for you. I'm not here to debate your reality.
Fact for me: Alcoholism is fatal.
Fact for me: The longer I'm sober -- the alcoholism still progresses.
Fact for me: If I pick up that next drink -- I'm screwed. It's not a matter, then, of "simply choosing" not to have the next one. My alcoholism will demand the next one.
Fact for me: I have seen AA's that I consider very much better than me, and way more spiritual than me -- that have returned to drinking.
Those are the facts that I carry with ME every single day.
In the BB, I do find many instructions and information that I can use to better insure my continued sobriety. I used to tell people that it was a guarantee -- almost like a promise. My observation of other facts -- leave me in a place, where I'm not really sure. I don't know. Simple.
Often, for me, guarantees and promises -- are two of the worse things you can give me! When I have those, I tend to get a bit arrogant and arrogance is just as deadly for an alkie -- as anger is.
So, why haven't I taken my next drink -- yet?
Here is what I "think" -- I don't know it for sure, so don't rely on it!
I think -- it's because -- I've found what I was looking for -- in the bottle.
And, it's that simple for me. It took a lot of actions and some time for me to get where I am "today". And, I don't have tomorrow. And, I do -- have a choice. If I didn't have a choice about it (about taking the actions to try to grow what I've got) -- I might as well go ahead and have that next drink.
So, for me:
1. I had to take actions to get where I'm at.
2. I have to take actions to stay where I am.
3. But, I can't stay where I am long -- that's called dead.
4. I MUST keep taking actions to "grow forward".
5. I found what I was looking for in the bottle -- in sobriety.
6. If I stop finding what I was looking for in the bottle, in sobriety -- I'll go back to the bottle again to see if there was one little nook or cranny where I might have overlooked it!
7. And, above I miss spelled bottle at bootie so I had to go back and fix it!
Which means I need some laughter and humor in my life -- even when facing tragic or deadly things. If I get too serious I could have a heart attack and die -- and then I wouldn't be able to feel my belly giggle when I laugh! And, I'd miss out on my next cup of coffee!
I might have messed up -- above. I'm only on my 2nd cup of coffee and it's early! You may want to come back later and see if I changed what I wrote -- that's why I say -- DON'T DEPEND ON ME! We MUST depend on a Power Greater than Ourselves -- and a Power Greater Than ME!!!