12X12 pg 77: "To a degree we have already done this when taking moral inventory in Step 4, but now the time has come when we ought to redouble our efforts to see how many people we have hurt and in what ways."
Another Inventory??!!!!! Add to that list??!!
12X12 pg. 79 "In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has. Very deep, sometimes quite forgotten, damaging emotional conflicts persist below the level of consciousness. At the time of these occurrences, they may actually have since discolored our personalities and altered our lives for the worse."
pg. 80 "We go far beyond those things which were supeficially wrong with us, to see those flaws which were basic, flaws which sometimes were responsible for the whole pattern of our lives."
I have harmed myself and emotionally damaged myself, I need to be on my list.
What kind of harm do we do others and ourselves. 12X12 pg. 80:
Examples from 12X12 of harms done:
Consistently bad temper
Deprive others of emotional security and peace of mind
Selfish sex conduct
Callous or cold
Lavish attention on one family member while neglecting others
Try to dominate family
Wallow in depression and self-pity
What happens when we take this stuff outside to work and society at large?
12X12 pg 82 "Admit the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the wrongs done us, real or fancied. We should avoid extreme judgments both of ourselves and of others involved."
I have completed my 8th step list. I didn't have to add much to the list from step 4 because I had isolated so much. I'm willing to make amends to them all in order to maintain sobriety. I'm working with my sponsor on how to tackle each one individually. My sponsor wants me to talk to her prior to and after any amends I make. I am definitely on my list. I don't think I have ever put myself on my amends list before, and I don't know how I overlooked that. I always thought it was wrong to think about myself as a harmed party, but now I realize I can abuse myself and that it isn't right to do that.
Love Each Day,