4th step........yikes

12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.
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Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:16 pm

Welcome to the site seabiscuit! I understand about dreams. Mine are 3D and Technicolor! :lol: Most of the time I have good ones but once in a while I'll get some that are a bit confusing for a couple of days.

I'm not sure what your referring to w/ GeoffS messages. You'll probably have to ask him about those. Do you have a reference in the Big Book of where it is that you're referring to? If you do, I can probably help you with that. But, I'll need to know specifically where and what it is that you're referring to. (Page number and stuff).

Good to hear from you PeaceJoy! I hope you're having a great weekend of rest, relaxation and fun.

Sometimes, 4th Steps get rather confusing, lengthy and long -- because info that we heard in meetings got into our heads, that's confusing and misleading in regards to the Step. When I have a sponsee that's taking the Step, I like to be there with them as they do it. This way we get a good thorough, and complete inventory within a couple of hours. What we need are three things:

1. A list of the things that really have some energy on them. And,
2. Enough info, to give us a good "general idea" in a "general way" of what the primary problems are.
3. Enough info, so that we can learn to use this process well -- on a daily basis for the rest of our lives -- during our daily 10th Step Inventories.

In Step 10, of the 12 & 12, Bill writes that when we did our Steps up through Step Nine -- it was laying the foundation that we will use to build upon in our "One Day At A Time" Program for Living.

One of the reasons I like using the guidelines is because it helps to keep us focused on getting the job completed without veering off the path and side-tracked into other stuff.

Great news Ben!!! Congrats on your successful trip, recording sessions and the performance at the concert! Sounds like it may have been one of those life-transforming hair-raising Spiritual Awakenings to me! :wink: I'm really happy for you!


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Postby seabiscuit » Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:35 pm

wow dallas that would be amazing to do it in a few hours... i am on my second day because it is taking me a while to figure what really "charges" me about this xyz situation....

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Postby Dallas » Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:43 pm

Are you following the directions precisely?

In the front of the book it states that the main purpose of the book is to provide precise... clear-cut directions on what to do to recover. (i.e. Taking the Steps).

Think of it like a map.

Without a map: Let's say you want to leave Washington and go to Florida, to visit Disneyland. Without a map -- you might end up driving all over Canada, then down to Mexico, up through Ohio, back track into Montana -- and eventually give up because you didn't get there soon enough.

With a map: You get to Florida, where you wanted to be, using the shortest distance to get there and end up sooner, rather than too late.

Without a map: You'll be off course more than your on course.

Same goes with the Steps.

In our book -- it says we've been affected physically and mentally. it says that our problem centers in our mind. If the mind is broken -- it's like using a broken compass. It's going to give you directions -- but, they'll most often be the wrong directions, because the compass is broken.

The book says, also, that we reach a place where "we can't differentiate the true from the false." What that means is: Our head will tell us to turn right and that it's the right thing to do to turn right -- when reality is: we should have turned left three miles behind us.

Our head says "Oh no! Not me! I'm not that bad off!" :lol: Alcoholism, is the only known disease -- where the person that has it -- doesn't know how badly they have it -- because the alcoholism is telling them "Oh! That's not true!"

Do you spend much time, secretly talking to yourself? That's your head talking to you. Conversations. The Committee. :wink:

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Postby Bensober » Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:19 am

Yes PeaceJoy had to use extra paper too. It actually helped to do more writing and was very beneficial. What I also found (you may too) in putting the pen to paper is the baggage of pain, happiness, trauma, good times, all my surroundings of evil and good was my “conscious carryingâ€

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Postby seabiscuit » Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:40 am

HI guys - done.... did it and read it to my sponsor.... wow.... wow... and wow...

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Postby Dallas » Thu Sep 30, 2010 11:06 am

That's great! Did you go from Step 5 into Step 9, already, too?

Good to hear from you.


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Postby chrissy » Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:47 pm

Nice posts everyone!! I am in the process of completing Step 4 right now. I have found that doing it with a sponsor and using the Big Book it is really not scary at all. I had done a Step 4 years ago more as an autobiography (a book! lol) which was helpful and freeing once I shared it, but I find making the lists specific to exact resentments, fears, harms done and sexual conduct more precise. Amazing to see the patterns that emerge in all areas. :wink:


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Postby Larry H. » Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:14 pm

seabiscuit wrote:HI guys - done.... did it and read it to my sponsor.... wow.... wow... and wow...

:D Congratulations on doing steps 4 and 5.

You have joined a rather small group of alcoholics that have actually done steps 4 and 5. My experience has been that only those who work the steps (All OF THE STEPS) obtain a quality of sobriety that is happy, joyous and free.

The rest are frequently known as doing the AA Waltz which goes:
1,2,3 - Slip, 1,2,3 - Slip, 1,2,3 - Slip, 1,2,3 - Slip

They may eventually do all of the steps and get sober but most do not.

Stick with the winners and win with the stickers

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Postby seabiscuit » Fri Oct 01, 2010 8:08 am

my experience with this was in getting to what i was resentful about took a bit to get to the bottom line.... so it took me writing a few sentences off to the side "about it" - then saying "nope" thats not it, is it "xyz" - nope thats not it - then i finally got to the "cause" -

i also had a challenge with the 4th column - what was my part... my sponsor helped me with that and show me where i was self seeking (righteous indignation), dishonest etc....

we will be moving on to 6-9 this weekend......

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4th Step

Postby BostonGuy » Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:58 pm


Two suggestions my Sponser had regarding my 4th and 5th step:

1) The quantity of honest is directly porportionate to the quality of results..

2) He suggested a 3rd party to hear my 5th Step, my Sponser wasn't interested in the burden of knowledge. I used a Priest that is well known locally in AA. He had decades of 5th step experience.

I like to say I crawled into my 5th step a child and walked out a man.

It wasn't easy, but no one told me it was going to be easy.

Happy to be Sober today!

Boston Guy

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