Having difficulty with Step 3?

12 Steps: Discussions related to the 12 Steps and using them as a treatment to recover from alcohol and drug addiction.
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Having difficulty with Step 3?

Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:55 am

Well, the "Having difficulty with Step 2?" question produced such a spirited flurry of activity.... I was wondering "What other question could ignite such a flare of sharing?"

So.... how about... "Having difficulty with Step 3?"

I had difficulties with Step 3. Mainly, it was because I didn't understand what Step 3 actually was. My perception had me "working the heck out of the Step" but getting nowhere.

At the time, one of my sober brothers was telling me "Step 3 is simply making a decision to go on with Steps 4 through 9!" And, I couldn't understand it that way... at the time.

I said "No, Bob... it can't be that. Because it says we 1. Thought well before taking this Step, and 2. it indicates that we're actually turning our will and life over to God!

Well... I was right, in a way... :wink: But, later on... after I actually did do my Steps 4 through 9, I came to the same conclussion that Bob was trying to help me understand.

Step Three... is simply making the decision, to take a certain course of actions.... and the course of actions are Steps 4 through Step 9.

Step Three is kind of like making a decision to drive from California to New York. Nothing happens until I get in the car and start driving.

It's kind of like the quiz "There were three frogs sitting on a log... one frog decided to jump in the water... how many frogs were left sitting on the log?"

The correct answer is three. Nothing will have changed until certain actions follow the decision.

Often, I hear others share... like I used to share... "Well, I'm working on Step 3." Now, when I hear that... I ask them, "How long does it take you to make a decision?"

Sometimes, I hear "Well, I don't want to rush things!"

And, my next question is... "How long do you want to be sober?"

Steps 4 through 9, are to remove the obsession and the insanity to drink. Until the obsession and insanity have been removed, our sobriety is in a danger zone.

Having difficulty with Step 3?


Rusty Zipper
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Postby Rusty Zipper » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:45 pm

ya know, it was through prayer i realy found the turn it over part, the belief, the trust and the faith... i had some for awhile, and pretty good too. this is what it took to put it over the top for me... as some may know, 3 months ago i lost my girl to this disease, or what one may like to call addiction... i was praying and prayng that god make her better, let her be removed from the compulsion, the insanity... then one night, i changed my prayer, i prayed, god, do with trish what you will, thy will be done... one week to the day, she died...

it was what i need'd to let me understand the implications of this step, and the whole program of recovery, today, i'm alive, sober, happy and at piece with trish's death.

all good wishes, and give only love... xxoo, PC

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Postby anniemac » Fri Jul 28, 2006 7:05 pm

Step 3 was a challenge for me, just to make the decision. And at that point in time, I didn't get that it was just a decision, I was trying to figure out HOW one turns their will and their over. It took me long enough to come to believe in a power greater than myself, but to actually put that power in charge? Yikes, I didn't know if I was ready for that. What if God said that in order to stay sober, I had to move to Greenland and live alone on the tundra for the rest of my life? Was I really willing to go to any lengths? It was quite frightening to me.

Finally, my sponsor threw up her hands and suggested that I just move on to my 4th Step, and Step 3 would fall in to place in time.

Some days I'm still waiting for that to happen! :wink:

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Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 28, 2006 8:18 pm

Sometimes, living alone in Greenland, or anywhere... alone... sounds like a grand idea!!! :lol:


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