sammie5643 wrote:okay, so I'm sitting here thinking that I'm drunk and not wanting to be, had a full week of being sober. Then, a hard day at work, my thoughts and car took me to the store to get a bottle and have been drinnking since Friday. How many times does it take to where this all hits me in the face. I know I'm a drunk, I know I need AA, but I know I want to drink and that is more important now. With me, never have I felt a part of anything, any group, being gay, hear Lambda isn't the place cause its so much like the bars, but I'm, drunk and I know that I need to stop, again, there's only one group that i've found to be weloming and they only meet once a week. Not enought for me. But, being me, only see half the picture. I very need/want to quit, but I wake up in the mornings and taste that vodkda.
Right now, the only passion is to sit on the couch and get durnk and have cocktails and waddle ir crag off tobed.
How many times does oit take before we wakeup and sayt enuff enuff. I'm just tired and worn out. I need to establhis a life w/o vokda.
I know what I need toedo biut it just seems tspo far away.
Sammy go to the group you like. Ask around for a old school sponsor. Work the steps quickly and daily. Your Higher power will carry you. The power is in God not the group. I know many use the group. But ask your higher power, you maybe surprised, I was.