I've got a black belt in Kung Fu movies!
And... I'm better than Bruce Lee!!! (I'm still here! In real-time and not just reel time!"
No. I just used to go get my butt kicked once in a while.
I used to have a night club and hired me a half dozen Samoan bouncers that were from somewhere in Fiji. Those guys were so tough -- I probably only needed one of them!
One night we had a group of about 20 bikers come in and were going to tear the place up. Two of my guys took them all outside and squished them all into the ground. It was like watching two Bruce Lee's take on Peter Pan Girlie Gang!
When the club was closed we'd work out together and they'd show me a few things.
And, I also got interested in kick boxing and trained a little with Benny the Jet. But, as I say... I only used to get my butt kicked.
I was drinking a lot so I could take it!
It was pretty cool. On Saturday Night Fight nights we'd have guys like Chuck Norris come in and it made it a really special and exciting experience just to meet and to watch.
We're sure getting a ton of milage and 15 rounds out of this First Step topic! huh???
We must be at Intermission. Care for some hot dogs and pop corn??
The good ole' days... when I was young, trim, fit, in fighting shape, two sails in the wind, and could kick a goose out of the air!
Yeah. Right. I'm sure you've heard those stories before! Us alkies man! I've been a pilot, a brain surgeon and a politician... all on the same night and on the same bar stool! I could have fixed all the worlds problems if they would have listened to me -- and I couldn't even control my drinking! LOL!!!
On the next night... a hot young blonde Occupational Therapist took me home with her. She was a real 10!!! She got naked layed down on her bed... and beckoned me over to her... And, out of the corner of my eye... I saw the biggest bottle of vodka I've ever seen in my entire life -- sitting on her breakfast counter!
It had to be at least a gallon. Good stuff too! And, it was strapped into this chariot looking thing with wheels on it, and you could tip the chariot to pour out a glass full of vodka!
She had some of these plastic Tupper-ware soccer-mom urban housewife tumblers... and I got me one... filled it up to 1/2 inch from the top with straight vodka and then squirted a splash of o.j. in it to give it some color!
I told her "Just a second! I'll be right there... just a quick little shot first!"
Man, you guessed it... she's laying there on her bed... watching me for a little while... all naked and pretty and sexy... and to me, God never created anything as beautiful as a woman! And, this was one of his finest works ever! -- I didn't even get my clothes off! I sat there downing tumbler after tumbler until that baby in the chariot was gone! I'd slug a tumbler down... then puke it right up! And, did it again and again and again and again... She's lucky I didn't puke on her bed! Because I got it all over the carpet as I would run to the bathroom to up-chuck in the toilet when I'd feel that hot-burn coming back up from my stomach through my throat out my eyes, ears, nose and mouth all at the same time!!! Well, it seemed like it was coming out my ears, too!
The chick just layed there naked and pretty and slept through the whole thing! You can imagine her surprize when she woke up!
And, here I am, sitting on her couch when she wakes up... stinking... full of guilt and remorse over the way I messed her house up. And, wondering if she thought I was gay or something because I didn't make it to bed with her! Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization to the max!!!
She drove me back to the club to look for my car. I didn't have a clue where it was... and this chick that definitely must have had some Al-Anon tendencies... she gave me her phone number and told me to call her again!!! Can you imagine that? As pretty as she was. As educated and intelligent that she was... she gives her number to a puker that just wasted her apartment and says "call me when you want to do it again!" Now, that's got to be one sick puppy!!!
But, that experience... it's what narrowed me down to my bottom. I was so embarrassed... not for puking, even though I felt bad about that, I was thinking... "how could I ever have sex with her now... when she might be wondering if I'm gay or something because I didn't sleep with her the last time!!"
I'll tell you. I love women. And, the day I found myself reaching for a bottle instead of a beautiful naked woman that wanted me... that was enough to convince me that something had happened to me that wasn't right... it wasn't normal. It so wasn't me!!! And, within just a couple of days after that... I ended up in my first AA meeting, on New Years week-end in 1985! That's another long story... so I better shut it down now before I get kicked off for writing such a long message!
Well. Were we talking about Step One, here? I hope so! I don't want that to look like one of those "just another one of those drunk stories!"