Thinking Problem

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Posts: 132
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:24 am

Thinking Problem

Postby JR » Wed Jun 14, 2006 7:58 pm

The following is intended to be funny and is certainly not intended to disrespect, belittle, or make fun of any individual or group. It’s called: “Do you have a thinking problem?

“It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then — just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone — "to relax," I told myself — but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

“That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's. I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

“I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, ‘What is it exactly we are doing here?’ One day the boss called me in. He said, ‘Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job.’"

“This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. ‘Honey,’ I confess, ‘I've been thinking…’ ‘I know you've been thinking,’ she said, ‘and I want a divorce!’ ‘ But Honey, surely it's not that serious.’"

"’It is serious,’ she said, and her lower lip began to quiver. ‘You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!’"

"’That's a faulty syllogism,’ I said impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama. ‘I'm going to the library,’ I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.

“To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye, ‘Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?’ it asked.

“You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was ‘Porky's,’ the week before, it was ‘Animal House.’â€

Posts: 31
Joined: Mon Mar 27, 2006 3:36 am

Cool thinking!

Postby Candy » Wed Jun 14, 2006 8:16 pm

That's cool!

I've heard it said that the three most dangerous words from an alcoholics lips are I've been thinking. :lol:


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