Hiya Boomer and welcome to this wonderfully loving site! They actually love me enough to tell me what I NEED to hear and not what I WANT to hear. Great folks, great folks!
I've slipped and slid for 20 some odd years. I found my answer in the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous. You see, I was hurting SO much and just could NOT stop drinking on my own, that I became willing to do what these people told me. I go to meetings, I call my sponsor, I do service work, I pray, but most importantly, I'm gaining freedom and peace of mind thru the 12 steps.
Quote from the Big Book:
Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living...
So see, it says..."almost none of us
"...that was me, I was one of those "almost none of us's", but I did it anyway because I truly wanted to stay sober and I had lost the power of choice to drink. It was a lot of work for me, but I knew that, once I was thru with it, I didn't ever have to do it again. When I did my 5th step I received so much peace and I truly felt that was my 2nd spiritual experience.
I'm so grateful to have a loving sponsor who has taken the time to read the big book with me and help me thru the steps out of the big book.
I'm so glad you found us, you truly have helped me today.
And tim1................I said something like this to my sponsor.......
Actually, its MY program. I intensely work my sponsor through my steps.
She said..it aint YOUR program or HIS program it's THE program.