Welcome to the site Bron! Glad you're here! I hope you find many helpful things here!
Geez! I remember well those painful days puking and praying at the porcelain alter!
It's not too bad unless you've progressed to the stage of projectile puking! Then, everyone seems to insist on having a part in the party!
That first 24 hours! Geezzzzz! I never want to have to do that again! As long as I can not take the next first drink... I'll never get drunk again. But, after that first one... regardless if it's a crowd or if I'm alone... no telling what will happen next!
For me.. it was the terror that I was experiencing that made me want to get sober. What happened last night? Where was I? How did I get home? Where is my car parked? My car? Oh crap!!! My car!!! I better go out and try to find it and see if the bumpers can tell me who or what I might have hit! The doctor? The E.R.? Was I there or was it a dream? Oh heck... I sure hope I didn't hit someone at the hospital! Hospital? Dang, I sure wish I could go somewhere and just take a rest... you know... catch my breath! My hearts beating a thousand beats per second! And, on and on and on and on the staggering carousel would go!
Dang it, God! Why won't you help me???? I know I promised... but...
Then, I'd sober up again... and promised myself "Never again!"
Everything was on the line... friends, family, job, business, reputation, finances... IRS... creditors hounding me for money that I didn't owe... I'd get thirsty... my knuckes would start turning white. Restless. Irritable. Discontented. Why won't they leave me alone? I could do this... if they would just stop bugging me and leave me alone!
"Hey bartender! I need some help!" -- What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong!!! I've got a bad case of sobriety!!!! Do you have anything that will fix it??? And, off to the races I'd go! Dumb ass drivers! Get off the road if you can't drive that thing!!! Speed it up! I've got places to go things to do and people to see!!!
What do you mean officer? Am I drinking? It depends. Are you buying?
Your Honor! Please don't take my license! I'm an honest law-abiding kind of guy! I hate like hell to have to drive without a license!!!
Hey guys how ya doin' ? Whaz up? Ah. Naw. I'm off the water wagon. I was just over-reacting you know! I can handle it! Sure, just one and then I'm off to home! Got to get up early tomorrow! Got a life, man! Got stuff to do! Got some big deals in the works! Tomorrow my ship comes in baby!!!!
Then, dragging my butt up the stairs the next morning... Oh gees! I can handle this God -- if you just don't let my heart stop beating! I can get a grip on it! Never like this again!!!! Promise! I'll even write it in the Bible!!!
So far... this time, Bron... it's been 8,248 consecutive days for me without that first drink! Yeah... sometimes I sure could use one! But, you know... I've never gone this long without a drink before... and I sure don't think I've got it in me to survive that first 24 hours again!
Welcome aboard the AA invisible boat! Just hop in and pick up an oar! Start rowing! You'll be glad you did! You'll never have to face the porcelain alter again... unless it's for something like the swine flu... (can't place no guarantees on that flu stuff... especially the bird or the pig flu! ) ... but I can guarantee you... that you can find here the tools to use, and if you use them... you'll never ever have to pick up a drink again!
Keep coming back! You'll be glad you did -- and... we all know what will happen... if we go back to drinking!
Best wishes for you!