Just Starting

[HHH]

Hello.
My name is Bron. I am a 31 year old male living in Wisconsin and I am an alcoholic. I have always known that I was one but until yesterday morning, while I was puking in the toilet and wondering what/if I did anything embarrassing last night, I have not fully admitted it and realized that I need to make a dramatic change in my life for me to get under control.

My drinking problem is I can’t “sociallyâ€

[angel143]

Welcome Bron. We are all glad you are here! And trust me, you will get some great welcome hellos. The people on here are so wonderful and amazing. And help me in ways they dont even realize.

I am on day 12 today. I have been to 2 meetings, and I think AA is an incredible place to go! And this site, wow, just reading all the things here is so helpful.

Hi I am Heather, I am an alcoholic. I am 33 and I have 2 boys. I promised them I will never have another drink again! I dont break promises to my kids, no matter how hard it is.

I wish all the best, I look forward to seeing you post and share. We are all here for you....promise.

Have a great day and congrats on day 1 down! You will do great.
Heather

[Dallas]

Welcome to the site Bron! Glad you're here! I hope you find many helpful things here!

Geez! I remember well those painful days puking and praying at the porcelain alter!

It's not too bad unless you've progressed to the stage of projectile puking! Then, everyone seems to insist on having a part in the party!

That first 24 hours! Geezzzzz! I never want to have to do that again! As long as I can not take the next first drink... I'll never get drunk again. But, after that first one... regardless if it's a crowd or if I'm alone... no telling what will happen next!

For me.. it was the terror that I was experiencing that made me want to get sober. What happened last night? Where was I? How did I get home? Where is my car parked? My car? Oh crap!!! My car!!! I better go out and try to find it and see if the bumpers can tell me who or what I might have hit! The doctor? The E.R.? Was I there or was it a dream? Oh heck... I sure hope I didn't hit someone at the hospital! Hospital? Dang, I sure wish I could go somewhere and just take a rest... you know... catch my breath! My hearts beating a thousand beats per second! And, on and on and on and on the staggering carousel would go!

Dang it, God! Why won't you help me???? I know I promised... but...

Then, I'd sober up again... and promised myself "Never again!"

Everything was on the line... friends, family, job, business, reputation, finances... IRS... creditors hounding me for money that I didn't owe... I'd get thirsty... my knuckes would start turning white. Restless. Irritable. Discontented. Why won't they leave me alone? I could do this... if they would just stop bugging me and leave me alone!

"Hey bartender! I need some help!" -- What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong!!! I've got a bad case of sobriety!!!! Do you have anything that will fix it??? And, off to the races I'd go! Dumb ass drivers! Get off the road if you can't drive that thing!!! Speed it up! I've got places to go things to do and people to see!!!

What do you mean officer? Am I drinking? It depends. Are you buying?

Your Honor! Please don't take my license! I'm an honest law-abiding kind of guy! I hate like hell to have to drive without a license!!!

Hey guys how ya doin' ? Whaz up? Ah. Naw. I'm off the water wagon. I was just over-reacting you know! I can handle it! Sure, just one and then I'm off to home! Got to get up early tomorrow! Got a life, man! Got stuff to do! Got some big deals in the works! Tomorrow my ship comes in baby!!!!

Then, dragging my butt up the stairs the next morning... Oh gees! I can handle this God -- if you just don't let my heart stop beating! I can get a grip on it! Never like this again!!!! Promise! I'll even write it in the Bible!!!

So far... this time, Bron... it's been 8,248 consecutive days for me without that first drink! Yeah... sometimes I sure could use one! But, you know... I've never gone this long without a drink before... and I sure don't think I've got it in me to survive that first 24 hours again!

Welcome aboard the AA invisible boat! Just hop in and pick up an oar! Start rowing! You'll be glad you did! You'll never have to face the porcelain alter again... unless it's for something like the swine flu... (can't place no guarantees on that flu stuff... especially the bird or the pig flu! ) ... but I can guarantee you... that you can find here the tools to use, and if you use them... you'll never ever have to pick up a drink again!

Keep coming back! You'll be glad you did -- and... we all know what will happen... if we go back to drinking!

Best wishes for you!

Dallas B.

[DiggerinVA]

Welcome,

The tools that are laid out in the Big Book will work if you let them. I would suggest you read it, it is posted in the Big Book study. Or go a head and buy one. The least expensive place is at your local AA meeting, but the big box stores sell it for about 15 bucks. Pretty cheap if you ask me.

I did my first 13 months with a Big Book, my Higher Power and a few well placed people(God will provide). Now I attend regular meetings and go because I enjoy them.

Also I must say I hope to never to need to do the 1st day again. The third time was hell.


Stan

[Susan68]

[quote="HHH"]Hello.
My name is Bron. I am a 31 year old male living in Wisconsin and I am an alcoholic. I have always known that I was one but until yesterday morning, while I was puking in the toilet and wondering what/if I did anything embarrassing last night, I have not fully admitted it and realized that I need to make a dramatic change in my life for me to get under control.

My drinking problem is I can’t “sociallyâ€

[Susan68]

I have not attended a meeting yet but this forum seems to be a good place to start.

Actually, you should get to a meeting right away. Don't wait. Grab the momentum. I was really trepidatious before my first meeting; I did not know what to expect. It was a women's meeting, of course, and I went in remember this one woman's face who smiled at me and I short of sheepishly said "is this the meeting?" to which she nodded and waived me over. I didn't stick with this meeting because I found it to be a little boring and unmotivating, but it served its purpose which was to get me going. However, I immediately started trying all different meetings, mixed, women only, open, discussion, BB, step, beginner, beginner steop, etc. I find that every meeting has its own vibe such that you decide on any given day what kind of mood your in (you want high energy and fun, low key and introspective, closed with just aa's or open speaker, etc.). It's cool. And seriously, you will thrive on the energy. It won't be every meeting where people come running over to you (or maybe you'll be lucky and grabbed by the scruff by some big smiling face), but you will typically walk out with something in your back pocket. I usually always feel uplifted after a meeting.

[Susan68]

But I do not ascribe myself to the notion that I have to go to a meeting every day if I have a reason not to go to one (sort of the like inverse of "you can go where there is alcohol served so long as you have a legitimate purpose for being there -- it's in the BB). Last week I did not go to meetings All week until Friday night, basically because I was annoyed about a sponsor issue and just said "I'm not going to meetings, and that's that."

But really, get to a meeting right way. They say 90 meetings in 90 days; I think, particularly in the first 30 you should strive for near-perfect attendance. It's too easy to rationalize in the beginning that you don't really need AA and if you're not going to meetings, listening to what AAs have to say and reading the materials, you're apt to fall prey to those lies in your head.

[ccs]

Hi Bron (((((WELCOME)))))) we really are glad to have you here
theres a lot of really good suggestions that have already been brought up
thats what we do here and in the meetings suggest things that we have done to stay sober and to tell the still suffering alcoholic what it was like for us and how we got sober and stay sober and what our lives are like now

I hope you will continue to share here with us but most of all I hope and pray that you will go to a meeting ASAP!!!
may I suggest that when you do at the beginning of the meeting when they ask if there is anyone new here that you raise your hand and introduce yourself (you only have to say your first name) and then just sit back and listen the rest of the whole meeting just take in what you can and then at the end of the meeting get some mens names and phone#s
thats it then your on your way to a happier healthier life for you and your family
just by reading the book taking the steps in the book and following suggestions from other alcoholics its just that simple

I`de like to make one more suggestion make sure you are doing this for yourself because YOU want too it has to be your decision
not some one else`s ( I cant do this for anyone but me )
its not what my family or friends or anyone else says it has to be my decision for ME !!

Thank you Bron for sharing with us I hope you will keep coming back and I cant wait to hear about your first meeting
I`m so excited for you you never have to drink again if you dont want to welcome to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous we are GLAD you are here you are not alone anymore

GOD BLESS
LUV-2-ALL
Cessie

[Dallas]

Hello Bron! I hope it's Day 2, for you!!! Whether it is or isn't... let us hear from you and let us know what's going on. We care.

Dallas

[garden variety]

Hiya Bron,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you stop drinking for life. I remember my first sober day...lord have mercy. I understand how you feel.

Hope to see you again.

God bless,
Paul