Reasonably happy ... i guess that's all i can ask for

Introduce yourself or read introductions from others!
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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 2:24 pm

Reasonably happy ... i guess that's all i can ask for

Postby joelo » Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:17 am

my name is joelo ... from South Louisiana ... coming up on 3 months sober. 4 years ago i had 16 months of a dry drunk, sober for all the wrong reasons. Now, a lot of inward searching and prayer is showing me the REAL joel, and i'm not liking what i'm seeing.

Overtly emotional.

i could go on.

Sober, or drunk ... i'm unhappy. i cause pain in the people i love, and i take the easy way out no matter what. i struggle with my Catholic faith day in and day out, and all the while my beautiful wife stands by me.

i don't deserve it ... and yet she gives that support. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, she's my hero. She REALLY is ... i admire her so.

We have four kids, 3 boys 14, 8 and 5 and one girl, 7.

Now you know me ... thanks for listening. That's all i got.

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Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 1:44 am

Postby ccs » Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:48 am

HI JOELO!!!! welcome to the site really nice to meet you hope you will keep coming back

I didnt like myself much when I got here either I was a TORNADO destroying the lives of those around me I never thought I could change
but taking the 12 steps is a real life changing experience I know it might not seem that way to you right now but if you take the steps with a sponsor as they are written in the BIG BOOK of Alcoholicc Anonymous you will see a new life unfold for you and your wife &kids it truly is a miracle I pray that you will stay to experience it

this is a great place to hang out there is a lot of Experience Strength Hope & Love on theese pages alot of Quality sobriety to learn from as well so jump right in running through the pages here I hope you`ll share more with us as well & get to know some of us especially the guys
they really have a lot to offer

welcome to our little web family my newest little Bro` :D

Your Sister in Sobriety


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Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 2:24 pm

Postby joelo » Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:11 am

Thanks so much guys ... i guess it's my ego (thank GOD for this month's Grapevine) expecting everyone to be as "spot on" as i imagine myself to be. With time, i will get through this step ... and i guess i AM making it more complicated than it need be ... but i DO want to ensure i sweep out ALL the cobwebs.

Thanks, again!

garden variety
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Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 7:39 pm

Postby garden variety » Tue Aug 25, 2009 9:28 am

Hi Joelo,

Welcome to the group.

"Overly emotional"

What? Did you know me? :lol:

I understand. That's what happens when an alcoholic stops drinking. It's in the first step "...that our lives had become unmanageable." There's another 11 steps that can help fix those thoughts you're having about Joelo.

Joelo, you are worthy. If you're an alcoholic like most of us, you're a good man with a bad disease. There's another thing I understand about what you're feeling. I know what it's like to be unhappy about the pain I caused in the lives of those who loved me, and stuck with me.

But as much pain that I gave to others, it was nothing compared to the pain I brought upon myself. No one hurt me more than I hurt me. When I stopped drinking, I hurt so bad that I tried to put an end to me. When I couldn't kill myself, that's when I began to know lonliness such as few do.

It sounds like that's where you are right now, Joelo. That's a place where most of us who now have a life after alcoholism call the "Jumping Off Place". So many of us know and understand the feelings and raw pain you're going through.

The best suggestion I've ever had that brought about the change within me that is need to conquer this fatal illness of alcoholism, comes from the book called "Alcoholics Anonymous" on page 58:

"With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start."

If you follow instructions in the book (the 12 steps), and pick out someone that knows how to follow our path fearlessly and thoroughly to show you how to make the book come to life each day, then Joelo, you're headed on the most amazing and incredible journey you'll ever know.

I wish you the best, and thank you for helping me today.


Site Admin
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Postby Dallas » Tue Aug 25, 2009 1:59 pm

Welcome to the site JoelO! Nice to have you. I hope you decide that there is something worthwhile and of value here -- and that you'll stay and hang out with us.

It could be that the most valuable thing that you find here -- is how you can be a help to us! Helping us achieve the things that we deisre.

I've discovered that when my focus is on trying to help someone else get what they want -- I automatically end up getting what I want. Whereas, when I focus on trying to get what I want -- I end up empty handed.

There is a little secret hidden in the Big Book, in the Chapter to the Family After, that many AA's overlook reading... (from what I've been told by many AA's)... For me, it's the secret to sobriety and the secret to the good life.

"Our guiding principle becomes giving rather than receiving".

I'm not a farmer, but I've read some books on it, and I've watched Discovery Channel! :lol: But, I learned that if we take what we have, and turn it into a seed, and give it to the ground, we reap a harvest. And, the harvest is always gigantic in comparison to the seeds.

While it's true that we cannot pass on something that we haven't got -- we can start taking that which is good in us (and all of us have something good in us)... and begin to share that good with others. It becomes our seed. And, we don't look for the harvest to come from the ground where we planted out seed.... The wind blows. Life happens. And, one day, out of the corner of our eye, we spot a harvest coming into our life -- from a direction where we never anticipated it coming from!

Begin to look for the good inside you -- instead of focusing on the things about you that you'd like to change. By focusing on the good -- and doing more of it -- the changes that you desire will automatically begin to happen.

Take what you have and join us. Bring the good and the bad... because we'll identify with you. We're that way, also. You'll be helping us as you allow us to witness the changes that take place in your life -- for the better. It will give us hope -- that if we continue to do what you do -- we, too, will get what you have received!


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Postby gunner48 » Tue Aug 25, 2009 2:32 pm

Welcome joelo. Looking forward to knowing you and reading your post.

Peace and Love

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Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:34 am

Postby Tim » Mon Sep 07, 2009 2:51 pm

Joel--I, too, have found that the chapter in the Big Book, 'The Family Afterward', has some real wisdom for living sober in our family relationships. I read this chapter very early in my sobriety and I'm glad I did.

I was--and still am--married and had two children living at home when I stopped drinking, joined AA, and began working the 12 Steps. I continue to be helped by suggestions written in that chapter.

The three mottoes at the end of the chapter are especially apropos for our relationships:

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It

If I followed the principles of those 10 one-syllable words each day, my relationships would be near-perfect.

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Postby Graystone » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:22 pm

Hi joelo,

“Cowardly. Weak. Overtly emotional. Manipulative. Lazy.â€

Site Admin
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Postby Dallas » Wed Sep 09, 2009 10:00 pm

Funny how things happen. I saw a new message posted here -- clicked to check it out -- started reading the original message, and noticed:

Joel O wrote:sober for all the wrong reasons

And, that stopped me in my tracks with a "Huh???" :lol: "Would there be a wrong reason for me to be sober?"

I couldn't think of any wrong reason for me to be sober -- so I decided to read on... again.

Then, wouldn't you know it... I get down to the new message... and there is Graystone... done read my mind for me -- before I even thunk it! :lol: :lol:

Crap like that seems to have been happening around here and in AA long before I got here -- people experiencing things before I experienced them, and then sharing how they handled it, before I even got a chance to experience it! :lol:

And, the mind reading that goes on! How do the others always seem to know what I"m thinking before I know what I'm thinking???? :lol:

Well. I guess a couple more good reasons for me to hang around here. Doesn't seem to be all that bad of a place for me to be. :wink:

How's things going Joel? Are you doing alright?


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Postby ROBERT » Wed Sep 09, 2009 11:09 pm

What some cool, honest, interesting, luvable, bunch of drunks here. joelo, welcome to the best darn site around. ps. Did someone show you *my* inventory notes? :lol:

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