Hello Kurt! Nice to meet you! Thanks for introducing yourself.
I hope your son is doing better. And, that you are, too.
I understand and relate to what you shared. Gees. It was so tough for me to get out and go to other meetings when I was new. I'd like, try to sneak in the back door so nobody would notice. And, some big guy, or some lady would always seem to find me and bellow out loud "HI WELCOME TO THE MEETING!!! YOU MUST BE NEW!!!"
My sponsor told me to keep doing it until I felt comfortable doing it. I thought he was just trying to punish me and be too tough on me. How could anyone EVER get comfortable with going to new meetings and meeting new people????
But, all that changed for me after I kept doing it. Now, I'm really glad that I did. As a result of doing that -- not only did I learn to feel comfortable going to a new meeting, going to a new meeting felt like home away from home, meeting relatives and old friends that I had not yet met.
Another thing that I was told to do was to introduce myself at the meetings.
I sure didn't like that in the beginning! But, I figured "if this is the punishment that I've got to take... to stay sober... alright. I'll reluctantly do it.... BUT, I DON'T LIKE IT!!!"
My sponsor then comes back with "That's the key to staying sober and the key to living the good life!? HUH??? He said, "Yes. It's about doing the things that we don't want to do." He said, "If you're doing what you want to do -- it's more than likely not going to be good for you, and if you're doing what you don't want to do -- that means you're doing something that will be good for you!"
You've got to be kidding, right?
And, after some time doing it, it totally changed my life. I used to be real shy. Couldn't talk to people or meet people without a couple of drinks first. Now, sober... I walk into a place, any place, and I feel at home. I kind of feel like they were waiting for me.
It's kind of like, no matter where I go, AA or outside of AA... I never meet a stranger. It's like we're all just a bunch of friends and relatives... and we've been waiting to meet each other. And, if I do have one of those moments, where I'm not feeling comfortable or "a part of" wherever I'm at... I know why. It's because I'm thinking about me -- instead of thinking about them. When I think about them I'm not thinking about me. And, when I'm not thinking about me... I get real comfortable.
Glad to meet you kurt! I hope you come back often! I'd like to hear more from you.