Thanks for your honesty and determination, Girl.
Every AAer everywhere identifies to some degree with the initial sudden stop at the end of that free-fall. Bless your heart.
Don't give up! In view of your reaction, this is extremely important to you, not only for your life, but your quality of life.
Don't try it alone - No need to. You need support and watchfull eyes. The physical withdrawal can be very intense and someties dangerous. See a doctor - preferably one at a treatment center who is thoroughly familiar with alcoholism and addiction. Some doctors aren't as up on this as others.
Go to an AA meeting - DO NOT be embarrassed to let it be know that you are having trouble getting off it. NO ONE there will criticize you. Ask for help. Ask them if there is someone willing to "Step 12" you (say that and you might be surprised how many volunteers you get) - someone who can keep a close eye on you, knows when you need medical help, and can even hold you down as they did me. No shame.
REMEMBER! - Burn this day into your memory, the pain, the craziness, the craving. Write it down if you need to. It comes in handy for me quite often when I wanta drink. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK THERE!!! That idea disgusts me these days and tends to quel the urge.
Pray - It doesn't matter where you are about religion or spiritual stuff. Start now and just give it a shot. Pray for yourself. Just start telling God you need help - constantly. Forget about not feeling holy or worthy and all that. Just pray for help and don't stop. You're likely to be surprised.
Last - keep going to an AA meeting every day. Listen. Pay attention. Ask a sober lady to "sponsor" you. A sponsor is a mentor who will show you the AA way to stay sober and never go back to where you are now. You'd really like that at the moment, right? Remember and keep going back to meetings
Good luck and God bless your heart. You're doing a good thing for yourself though it may seem impossible right now. Amazing isn't it? The power that stuff has over us that we ignored for way too long. We all did that. We all needed help. That's why we're here for you. Grab it!
PS: Google "AA hotline" in your area. Call them. They might be able to help set you up with help, epecially if you have trouble getting out to a meeting. They are also handy to talk with when you're getting really crazy.