New here...2 days sober

[Craig99]

Hi - My name is Craig and I'm an alcoholic...that was hard to type. Just had my last episode this past saturday. I got soo drunk at my sis-in-laws graduation party that I was grabbing my mother in laws butt. I had (I think) about 15-20 beers in 5 hours. Then I proceeded to get the car and drive down to the bars. Thanks god my dad came and got me. I'm tired of waking up the next day feeling ashamed and embarrassed. I've been binge drinking for about 17 years and it needs to stop. I dont drink everyday but when I do I get so out of control. I need to stop or mywife and 2 month old daughter are headed out the door. Thanks for listening.

I hope this forum along with AA will help me get my life back in order.

[Craig99]

I have alot of questions concerning AA.....I guess my first and biggest one concerns God and religion. I'm not religious at all. Will this affect me getting sober?

[Ranman99]

Dude, my advice (because that part was trouble for me for too many years) don't focus on it at all for the time being. Focus on the problem at hand. In How it works there are two principals that are rather key though.

Honesty and humility. Number one when I am just honest about what is going on I can work on it and number two I am no better or worse than any other human being.

The easiest thing to do is pick up the book Alcoholics Anonymous and read the first 103 pages. I get my sponsees to highlight in green what they dig and in red what seems to irk them for some reason and then grab someone who has some sobriety and works the steps and start to take a look.

I use the highlighting as a way to break the ice with a new guy and get a feel for where we stand.

Whatever you do don't find a reason to not avail yourself of changing your life for the better.

If Alcohol has caused you trouble more than a couple of times in your life than Alcohol is trouble.

Just my two cents. As you work the program your way (and it is your program not your sponsors) but following the instructions in the first 103 keep an open mind be honest about it and use sites like this to compare notes and ask further questions. Avail yourself of every opportunity to explore and be grateful for the good things that you have and will continue to gain.

I used to be a staunch atheist but I do now have a spiritual program that has evolved for me. It seemed to just come along once I was willing to try.

When I came across things my sponsor said I didn't like or agree with I simply said "I don't buy this YET" and kept on moving. A lot of what I disagreed with at first didn't mean a rat's butt in the end

I'm 18 months sober and my first meeting was 20 years ago. Don't do it the way I did

[Craig99]

Ranman- thanks for the advice. Right now I have a million things on my mind. I have realized I am an alcohokic. I went to a meeting about 5 months ago and said I'm not like these people even though they did the same things I was doing. I thought after my daughter was born I could have 1 or 2 beers....not the case. I guess right now i'm thinking about all the occasions where I used to drink now I wont be able to, and it wants to make me dig a hole and crawl in. Football sundays, golf, out by the pool, etc. I know it will be hard but every (and I mean every) problem in my life has resulted from alcohol.

Its tough being honest about it because I know it means no more drinking. But I know my life and family's life will be better off. Thanks for posting. 3 days sober now!!

[Ranman99]

Hey Craig, I hear ya. What you just wrote I could have written for years. What I initially used to do after I first saw AA and said (20 years ago) to myself I'm different or better or I can do this my way etc. was to stop for months at a time. Problem is I never could stay stopped and as the years went by every bout progressed to stages I could not have imagined.

Believe me for so many years I could walk into an AA meeting and say ### that has not happened to me and believed in my deepest regions that there is no dang way it could

Well I was wrong

One of the reasons I could not get sober for so long is that I kept getting away with it for so long. I made money I got promotions I ran around like a lunatic. I was a big shot. I was dying

I sponsor two guys now and it is one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. But guess what. It's keeping me sober. No matter how much I tell them about my experience 90% seems to be forgotten within 2 days.

Hey they sound like me

I just can't say enough about at least giving it a shot for two periods.
1) Until you can at least go through the steps once and then work them for a few months with a good sponsor. ### get an aethist sponsor if you can find one

2) Enough time to sober up physically, mentally and spiritually(whatever that concept means to you, to my it can be as simple as being honest and humble 90 odd % of the time if I like)

But the honesty will never ever let you down. Just by coming to this site and sharing honestly you are giving yourself a chance. I've seen two people die since I've come in this time.

I'm a bit of a nut case but today I'm gratefully 18 months clean and sober and know that if I want to stay that way there are certain things I have to do and I no longer get lazy about the ones that I know are key to my program. If I end up in a foreign city with the thought in my head that some how a drink would be a fine idea. Well I don't need to explain that one A change has taken place and I know how to keep it that way but I need people that will honestly tell me when I'm talkin' crap.

I get on the phone if I wig out.

I'm off on holidays in three days. My wife and kid are still with me and I'm relaxed even with three major amends in front of me. Really looking forward to the down time and might even have a crack at an old job back,
How could that be? I got fired for getting drunk and dissapearing for two weeks.

I'm a good husband and father some 90 odd % of the time. I'm a legend in my own mind

Ciao,

[Ranman99]

Oh ya one more thing I have learned.

Not one single excuse I used to use of why I could not stop drinking held water in the end.

They were just excuses. i.e. a load of crap I kept feeding myself and believing for far too long.

The price of a drink for me is not cheap!!!

As they say first I put the drivers license, kid, wife, job etc. on the bar and then a way we go

May as well buy some shells for the shot gun while we are at it

Funny though even fear of that is not how I got sober

Good Luck. Keep Coming Back!!!

[Dallas]

Welcome to the site Craig! Keep coming back! And, good to read from you, too Ranman!