- Daily Check-In

Daily Check-In




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Postby Toddy » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:11 am

Thanks Ben
Toddy
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:36 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Toast » Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:17 pm

Hey Toddy!

As been said, the right job will come when your ready for it, the BB says once we get the spiritual part sorted we straighten out physically and mentally, no the other way round. :wink:

Know how you feel tho not working, my self esteem was so low that i thought the only thing that would fix me was a nice managerial job that would give me power over other people to put a bit of safe distance between me and the rest of the world. And i've had a few of these jobs and been made redundant a few times as well, all in soberiety. Never forgetting that when 1st came into AA i was unemployed and unemployable and had been for the last few years of my drinking. :?

I aimed for a material recovery instead of a spiritual one, and lost more in soberiety than i did drunk, i treated others like dirt to get what i wanted, and those people i professed to care about most hated me for it and left. :cry:

Mother Theresa said that 'lonliness is being above or below the crowd', that just about sums me up in a nutshell. :shock:

Now i think i suffered from ' Status Anxiety'. All my self worth came from what others thought about me, and it had to be constant praise or i'd start to worry. But even when it went my way it still wasnt enough, i then discovered that no matter what i still didnt like myself, so then i decided to try this spiritual path i'd heard spoken about for years in AA, i had to find out exactly what these happy contented people i looked down on were talking about? :oops:

So after 7 years dry and contentidly demented in AA i quit the job, got hold of a ' programme orientated sponsor' not a 1st step sponor, one that tells you its all about tons of meetings and staying away from the 1st drink, which it is at the start but after a while we need a bit more than that. So we worked through the programme and it saved my life as well as my marriage and tonight i've just said goodbye to 2 lovely grandaughters who were round for supper and i feel so good i wouldn't call the Queen my aunt! :lol:

They told me to work my AA from the fireside out, i thought this meant 12 Step your home? But I didnt ' 12 Step'my home i ' Goose Stepped' it and everyone had to march to my orders or there would be hell to pay!

Now i realise the fire i had to work on was the one that burned inside me, the fire that was fueled by resentment and hatred and always going to prove someone wrong!

Today i'm still quite competitive but i'm only in competition with myself, trying to be a better person than i was yesterday.

Now back working freelance doing what i did before but not taking on all that pressure i used to take to prove i was a real man, and the best part is it pays even better than before! :D

If your struggling then struggle with us, we know the way out and it will be given to you freely because it was given to me by a bunch of strangers who's only motive was a burning desire to see me get well. :lol:

God bless
Toast
 
Posts: 471
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 12:50 pm

Postby Toddy » Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:23 pm

Right toast, Im ready to continue on with the steps step 6 is next. I'm not in a hurry, just feeling stuck. Im handling "catastrophic" issues with resolve, I feel the difference with what little ive learned so far. you all have been so helpful in your posts like minded people sharing, very powerful resource. I will keep ya all posted, Thank you.

Toddy
Toddy
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:36 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Postby Bensober » Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:48 am

Good ‘n Toast! Really defines what I was and am capable of being if my beast doesn’t stay in check. Been romanced lately to consider those “ivory towerâ€
Bensober
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby merckx » Tue Jan 18, 2011 10:50 am

Toast wrote:Mother Theresa said that 'lonliness is being above or below the crowd', that just about sums me up in a nutshell.


Man that struck me just the right way today. I am right where I need to be today to hear that ... right in the middle of the crowd. I am going to store that away for the day that I start to thinking I might need to change my position.
merckx
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:14 pm
Location: Indiana

Postby PeaceJoy » Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:56 am

I'm off today and checking in with my cyber homies. :) I am reading a book about co-dependancy and addiction that is really good. It's called "The Opposite of Everything is True". Last night I read and journaled and then got to stay up late reading a novel. Woohoo!
Living in the moment today and keeping it simple.

PeaceJoy~
PeaceJoy
 
Posts: 137
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 1:49 am
Location: Washington

checking in on this cold snowy, freezing rain to rain day

Postby JudyJersey » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:07 pm

Well today I am 79 days sober. Been through a lot and will keep going through things but seeing things differently being sober. I never drive in the snow too nervous - this morning started car got snow and ice off - took my time and said if I don't feel comfortable I will turn around. I took it slow and made my way safe and sound others going to fast where spun around said a prayer they were ok and another to get me to work in one piece. Things happen for a reason is my motto - just another test for myself I can do things if I put my mind to them and am making safe choices in my life.

Glad to hear peacejoy and you Toddy are doing well - I will not say anything about the job everyone else has to you Toddy - i have not been without a job in over 15 years and by god's grace I will continue to be here.

Only thing to say today is bring on March with spring.

Judy
JudyJersey
 
Posts: 53
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:06 pm
Location: New Jersey

Postby Dallas » Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:28 pm

I'm here. :lol: Sober. Busy. Checking in. Wishing everyone the best!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby PeaceJoy » Wed Jan 19, 2011 12:00 pm

Most times busy is good, right Dallas? Today I'm meeting with a good friend that used to be a drinking buddy. We haven't seen much of eachother lately and I understand her teenage daughter just got out of rehab so Mom has decided her house will be a clean and sober house. She's not quitting drinking but she won't have alcohol in the house and won't be in the house when she or anyone else has been drinking. I hope it works for her. I don't know if she's an alcoholic or not but if she is, the controlled drinking won't work for her. I admire her willingness to do that for her daughter. Anyway, we're meeting for coffee and I'm looking forward to it. She's one that I really miss.
Got some sewing time in yesterday and hopefully today. I'm making things for others but really it's therapy and time for me, so it's a win/win. That's one hobby that started to go to the wayside when I was drinking. I would have to chose whether I wanted to sew or drink. Many times I tried to do them together. Usually screwing up my project and tossing it away. Anyway, this all is quite boring for non-sewing enthusiasts such as yourselves but I imagine others can relate to letting hobbies go by the wayside when they started interfering with your drinking time or $$ budget.
Today the sun is out in Washington state. Gotta get some of those sun rays while I can!!! 8)

P.S. Toddy, I enjoy your posts and I've learned a few new expressions we don't use here in the U.S. The only real exposure I've had to Scottish culture is Diana Gabaldon's books "Outlander" series. But that was 18th century Scotland so........ :wink:

Peacejoy~
PeaceJoy
 
Posts: 137
Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2010 1:49 am
Location: Washington

Postby RichC » Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:08 pm

Needed to check in.
Been occupied with other matters and havent dropped in.
RichC
 
Posts: 68
Joined: Mon May 31, 2010 5:15 pm
Location: Behind the Zion Curtain

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