PeaceJoy, let the least of your worries be: how much you write and post here!
You just go ahead and fill up the whole site if it helps! We can always get more site!
However... we've only got one -- of you! Let your hair down and let it out. We're not in a meeting here where it disrupts anything. Someone can always click on a different topic if they don't want to read it.
It's got to be a tough job what you're doing. My hope is, that you continue to remind yourself of what your #1 problem is.
When people of our type (alkies) get professional training to deal with and help other alcoholics -- the number one thing that brings them down, is: they forget who they are, what they are, what their own liabilities are, and they get so carried away in helping others that -- they forget the importance of taking care of themselves. They forget, that they, too, are in recovery. And, they forget that -- it's the little things that get us. Or, a combination of little things -- and not so much the big ones.
It's great that you're keeping in close contact w/ your sponsor. When I was taking care of my mom -- if I went too long without contact w/ my sponsor I got real squirrelly. And, even now, when I don't take care of her any more... if I go too long w/out talking w/ my sponsor I still get squirrelly. (Sometimes, he'll be overseas for a few weeks at a time. I could bug him on his cell phone. But, I try to wait).
When I was taking care of my mom, I guess I was in a bit of denial, thinking "I can do this!" because I felt like "I should be able -- to do this."
So, long after she needed professional care that I couldn't deliver -- I continued trying. I continued doing it to the point that it brought me very near to a final breakdown. I was lucky, in the since that I was sponsoring a guy who was going through the same thing with his mother. I could see what it was doing to him and his wife and their relationship and their lives. Naturally, I had that thinking and feeling of "you guys need to get professional care for your mother -- you can't make it trying to continue this way" -- and, of course, I couldn't see it in myself! Well. Maybe I did see it. I just couldn't admit it. That was my problem. Not wanting to admit that the problem was greater than I could handle. And, the emotional attachment -- "This is MY mom! I've got to do this!"
Finally, in discussing it with my sponsor, I could see, that I was finally at the place where I had to bite the bullet.
My heart goes out to you! I understand.
I also had a similar situation with a brother. However, in his case, I could more easily see that I couldn't be of help to him. And, he died three years ago as a direct result of his alcoholism and drug addiction. In my mom's situation, it was Alzheimer's. I had no previous experience with that.
Wishing the best for you. And, wishing there was more that I could do instead of just 'being here' for you.