Husband in Denial

[Shelly]

HELP. I am an alcoholic myself. I would not really say recovering because I did drink until I blacked out a couple of months ago. Before that I was an occasionally drinker never really getting drunk. I also had a 4 beers on thursday but I was tipsy. My husband although has a much serious problem and in my own way is making me relapse because of his drinking. He does not believe that he has a problem because he says that he only drinks to relax. He came home about six months ago and fell on the kitchen floor and could not get up. He said it was because he blood sugar dropped too low. Yeah, ok. We have a 16 month old son and a few weeks after this incident I came home from work, he was drunk off his ass and my son was lying in his crib with a 102 fever. I immediately grabbed him and drove straight to the doctors office I worked at. It was 630 at night for pete's sake. I stressed to him he needed to stop drinking and again he said he would never do it again. I came home three days ago and on the way home I called him 15 times and he did not answer. I walk in the house and he is passed out on the couch. I pull out my phone and stand at the foot of the couch and call him again and the ringer is set on "as loud as possible" and he did not budge. The night before I pulled the tabs off the top of the cans so I could keep count of how much he was drinking. He had 4 32 oz beers of keystone light and 2 bottles of bud light. I know this because I pulled the tabs off the beers cans the night before. Again I was concerned for my son because if he could not hear the phone ring how could he hear my son cry for help. My husband mentioned that he was tired and was in a deep sleep. So with your expert abilities please confirm with me he has a problem. I know he does because I have been there. I need help in what to do. I have told him he has needed help for over six months. What do I do? I am going to a meeting tomorrow night.

[Dallas]

The only thing you can do is -- to do something to get help for yourself. If your husband is alcoholic the only one that can do something for him to get help -- is himself. Unfortunately, that's the way alcoholism and recovery works.

[Pebbles]

Hello there-I feel for your situation. I was around this program for 11 years by going to meetings with my husband, but I never identified with being an alcoholic myself, until I finally hit my bottom and asked for help. It takes what it takes. If you keep on going to meetings, you will be improving your life, and that's all you can do. If your husband sees how you are improving your life, he might just follow suit! Just remember, that I can only do this program for me, and not anybody else.