My name is Lisa, and I am grateful to be a sober alcoholic.
When I first joined this forum I was pretty crazy. I had no intention of staying sober. I didn't want to be sober. It hurt too bad to be sober. I just wanted to run away and die. I had been forced into a treatment center or else go to jail. I chose jail but a judge chose otherwise.
When I first joined this forum I was a real true to life puke. No one here, there, or anywhere wanted anything to do with me. I can't blame them for that because I didn't want to have anything to do with myself.
I want to thank God that in my rage somehow I got lost on the world wide spider web and ended up here.
I used the contact us thingy in my attempts to puke my thoughts on anyone who would listen to me and suddenly I got a return email from Dallas. I wanted to puke on him and it floored me that he said he understood and that it was okay to go ahead and puke in his email.
We exchanged emails for a while and then one day I looked up his number to call him to see if he was a real person. Shock! He answered the phone! He even told me it was okay to puke in the phone on him. Can you believe that?
Dallas ended up talking me into joining this forum. I told him I would puke in his forum and he said okay. Well. I did puke in the forum and now I'm glad that Dallas cleaned it up and removed the foul messages that I had written here. What confused me most is that I was trying to make him mad at me and he wouldn't get mad.
Today I am sober 7 months. I thank God, Alcoholics Anonymous for my sobriety and I thank Dallas for putting up with me and helping me. Dallas, I don't believe I would be alive or sober had it not been for your help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and all that is within me.
I thought I hated God 7 months ago. The one I really hated was myself.
God used a person from A.A. to reach out and offer love and concern and help to me, when all I wanted to do was puke on him. When I asked him why he was like that and did that he said that it was because he found through A.A. a loving God who loved him and saved his life and he was grateful to be puked on by another alcoholic! (For a while I thought this guy is really sick!)
Well that is my story. That is what I was like. What happened.
I haven't told you what I'm like now. I'm not sure what I'm like now. I know that I am sober. I am different. I have been reading the big book and following directions and taking the steps and I feel like I was reborn. I go to many A.A. meetings. I walk different, dress different, talk different. I feel like I have been turned inside out and shaken out a few times. I have started feeling good. I'm treating people differently. I'm treating myself and God different. I feel like I am so thankful that I'm going to pop!
Apology here, if any of you read the puke before it was cleaned up, please forgive me.