- My first day... again

My first day... again




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My first day... again

Postby c0rnfl8kgrl » Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:44 pm

Hello. My name is Aja and I'm an alcoholic. I am new to this whole AA thing. Over the last two months or so that I have been trying to stay sober I have had many "first days", today being another one. I question wether or not I'm really an alcoholic, if it is really unmanagable. Then I go to a meeting and hear stories and feelings similar to mine. But I'm stubborn and I like to drink. So I think I can handle just drinking socially, but once I start and I'm feeling really good, I don't know when to quit. And now that it has been pointed out to me that I truely am sick, that this is a disease over which I am powerless on my own, the guilt that comes with each first day is crippling. I do not have a sponsor and have not started the 12 steps. I thought just going to the meetings was all there was to it. Boy was I wrong. So this is me... hungover in Fort Myers, FL and desperately needing a sponsor and some help because I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

On a more positive note, I love how happy and supportive and glad to see me all the people in AA are! It is truely inspirational and it's because of their examples that I want to do this right and have what they have.

Anyway, enough about me. Thanks for letting me share.
Last edited by c0rnfl8kgrl on Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
c0rnfl8kgrl
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:05 pm
Location: Fort Myers, FL

Welcome!

Postby Dallas » Sun Jul 09, 2006 4:08 pm

Hey Cornflake :lol: Welcome!!! :wink:

Nice to see you on my screen this morning! I'll bet the weather is perfect down in Ft. Meyers!... That's where I should be.


Keep coming back!

Dallas
Dallas
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4781
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2005 9:05 pm
Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby c0rnfl8kgrl » Sun Jul 09, 2006 4:54 pm

Thanks for welcome, Dallas. It is much appreciated.

As for the weather, if you like 98% humidity, heat that will knock you on your ass, interspersed with hours of torrential rain that leaves the streets flooded (and the old folks just don't know how drive when it rains, i'm honestly suprised when I make it home from work without getting into an accident :!: ), oh, and did I mention the red tide that makes the beaches smell like month old dead fish?, then yes!!! You should be here! :twisted:

(Pardon the pessimism, I'm feeling funky this morning/ afternoon)

No really, it is paradise most of the time... 8)
c0rnfl8kgrl
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:05 pm
Location: Fort Myers, FL

welcome

Postby Dallas » Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:22 pm

Well... since that description almost fit the place I'm at now... without the rain... I guess I better hang on to what I've got! :lol: I guess all the times I've been to Florida were times when the humidity wasn't bad.... the weather was great... and they didn't have red tide. :wink: Let me know when it's time to come!

I hope your day is a good day and that the funky feelings fly away!!!

Nice to hear from you.

Dallas
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Location: Fort Smith, Arkansas USA

Postby anniemac » Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:26 pm

Hi Aja,

Welcome to this site and to AA as a whole. When I first came in, I thought I just liked to party too much and it got out of control. What I did know is that I did not like the remorse I always felt afterwards. And I got angier and nastier as my disease progressed. There was no fun at the end.

Hope you stick around, it's worth repeated efforts,

Anne
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Location: Long Island, NY

First day...again

Postby Phoenix » Thu Oct 26, 2006 8:31 pm

Aja- Hello- I am Phoenix. I feel like I am rising out of the damaged ruins of my drunken life.

Your message struck a chord for me. I am just back here myself- for the third time! The reason you gave is a favorite saying, "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!" My other favorite is, "I am too young to feel this damn old!" (Sounds like a contry song...)

I am now in my third day and have finally just stopped shaking. I havn't made it to a meeting yet but I am looking forward to tonight. I found one near my home. I plan to "settle in" to this new life and then look for a regular meeting and sponsor. For now, I will just not drink today. And worry about tomorrow tomorrow.

Anyway, greetings from another hopeful retread.

Px
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Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2006 12:06 am
Location: North Idaho

Keep coming back

Postby waitresscheryl » Sun Oct 29, 2006 3:34 am

Welcome to the site, and as they say One Day at a Time. All those little sayings may sound trite, but they can help through tough times, also the serenity prayer can also help, just talking through my own experience. Cheryl :D
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Posts: 17
Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 10:12 pm
Location: St. Joseph, Missouri

welcome

Postby musicmode » Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:08 pm

My name's Anne, I'm an alcoholic,

Welcome to Cheryl, & to Phoenix

..slips..I've had a few...then again..too few to mention..

okay, so that was bad...one thing that was suggested to me was that I had to find a 'better' way of treatin' myself. If I was accustomed to "treatin' ' myself w/ a drink ( I worked hard...customer's were somethin' else, 'specially that one--I was a waitress, too...or had a spectacular day, look at the $$tips...I can afford to go out--I'll just have 1 or 2...to relax, unwind)...it was suggested that I think back & recall somethin' else that also relaxed me...what'd I like? Some suggested that if I liked scented candles, take that same $$, go buy a couple, bubble bath--whatever...& pamper myself-be good to yourself. My body was literally yellow jello, inside & out, if it was my bag-a-tea, make an appointment for a facial, a haircut...go out & buy that cd I always wanted but could never afford-cuz I was spendin' $$ on booze. Another thing that would hang me up...those I worked w/ would have plans to 'go out after work' (this was years before AA, when all I thought was I just needed to stop, or cut back, or whatever...swear off it, then be back at a table again wonderin' how&why)..my resolve would be instantly erased w/ only a few words: wanna come w/ us? Although I don't recommend that ya quit yir job--need that...I did eventually discover though that waitressing wasn't a job that I should be doing. It took a lot for people to rattle me, & for the most part--most didn't, but-all it takes is that one who orders chocolate milk, then rips on ya, askin' why ya brought him that & why would he order that? :evil: . There are those who believe that because you are their waitress, you are therefore their 'servant', & treat ya that way & get really ugly & aren't satisfied til they got 'cha--literally.

I learned to ask myself the question: how good is this for my sobriety? First, though, I had to ask myself: what do I really want? How do I see myself 10 years from now if I continue to drink--is that the picture I want?

Tap 'er cool, kids, & easy does it. If you're here & ya keep comin' back-perhaps despite your own will--might just be somethin' to that.

You's in the right place.
Anne 8)
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