Hi i'm jason and I..

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Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:22 am

Hi i'm jason and I..

Postby Paradigm13 » Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:30 am

I hope it's ok that I post here i'm not sure if it's just for alcoholics or for people living with them also.

I'm 30 years old, my mother was an alcoholic and left our family when I was about 7. After that my dad went to AA and turned his life around for the better.

Now at age 30 i've fallen in love with an alcoholic...aint if funny? I love her to death but it's tough. We broke up a few days ago and I wanted her to make the desicision this time if she wanted to change her life so i'll find out in one hour which decision she makes or else I am ready to let go, even though it breaks my heart to the core.

I'm hoping if she decides she wants help and support she will come on here with me and we can work on this together. I'm hoping she will come on here and introduce herself. For whatever happens I will probably stick around and learn as much as I can and will help in any way that I can.


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Postby Dallas » Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:40 am

Hello Jason,

Thanks for showing up. Glad you're here.

Naturally, I can't feel your pain, and the stuff you must be feeling... but I sure can identify with it, and I know how a similar situation felt for me. It just totally ripped my heart out and I can't begin to describe the hurt that I felt.

I do wish you the best, regardless of whatever she decides.

I think my best suggestion would be... take care of yourself.

Best regards,


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Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2006 1:22 am

Postby Paradigm13 » Mon Sep 25, 2006 3:08 am

Thanks...it's half hour past the agreed time, so at least I feel good now I gave her the final choice...but you know something hit me today while waiting. Thats two people I loved lost to drugs and alcohol, now it's time to fight back....theres so much pain in the world caused by those two things and i'm gonna make it my lifes work to help fight this.

Theres so many small children living in homes with abuse and neglect that I can't even stand to think about it and makes me want to vomit. My mother and my gf were both raised in those homes and bad things happen there.

I kept asking why do I have to go through this pain, and what is there for me to learn out of it and I think it's finally come to me like a slap in the face...it's gonna be huge in scale thats all i'll say for now :)

I know she cried when I was going to let her go before, cried about how drinking ruined everything in her life, I tried to be there for her, i tried god knows I tried, and thats all I can do. She said i'm the only man in her life that never hit her, called her down, used mental or verbal abuse or even talked to her about her life. but yet I've never been so hurt by one person in my life that I loved so much...I still shake my head at it....but it showed me how bad this disease really is.

Her whole family drinks, it's crazy, EVERYONE! I went to her family home and there were about 6 adults and 12 kids belonging to various couples...it broke my heart....to see all those kids so neglected...and to know that the same painfull cycle will probably repeat in those children...it kills me.

She has such a huge heart, it was amazing the things she would think of to do for people. I kept thinking wow, if she turned her life around what a posative influence she could be, but i realized it was wrong for me to do that..

Anyhow I'm going to go grieve the loss of the 2nd person....but i'll be back....and when i'm ready i'm gonna try to put a dent in this drug and alcohol thing, and i'm gonna fight it till i'm dead and gone! :) take care everyone, i hope to meet you all soon.

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Location: USA

Postby Hope » Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:01 am

Hi Jason. Glad you're here! Welcome!

Have you heard of Alanon? I have been to Alanon and it is a wonderful program. I went to alanon because I thought it would help me because I had a similar relationships like yours with alcoholics. I would have just stayed in alanon but they helped me learn that I needed to be in AA because I'm alcoholic. There are some people who go to both AA and Alanon.

I agree with Dallas that you really do need to take care of you! Being with alcoholics can make you crazy and it can really mess you up. But there is help. That One that can help is God if you seek Him. When they first told me that God would help me I wanted to gag. I thought they were saying go to church and church will help me. Been there done that. That wasn't what they were saying. First I went to Alanon. Then I came to AA. I found out in AA that God was helping me all the time. He was guiding me to the people that would and could help me. Alanon uses the same book and the same 12 steps that we use in AA. Do yourself a favor and check it out.


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