All I gots to says to that is: ditto.
I was gonna get this program right the first time...those stories in the BB, about Jim, and Fred...nah...I wasn't gonna pick up a drink or anything else ever again. Boy! Did I prove the BB right
. I was gonna be this gold-medalist of AA
. While I was at it, I was gonna quit smokin' tobacco, too--take it all on at the same time. The boys in my first group says to me: uh, uh, uh. Has the logo 'Easy Does It' slipped past ya? They said that I had to slow down...one thing at a time. They weren't gonna tell me to not quit smokin', but if it came down to pickin' up a drink or cigarette...I'd best make sure a cigarette is handier than a drink. Yes sir, boys&girls...I was runnin' a 100 miles an hour into a brick wall w/a stupid grin on my face. Would I have this thing called AA? No contest. Even went so far as to receive a first year cake...a month later? I was poundin' my fist on the kitchen table, wonderin' what happened? That was okay, though...picked up the boot-straps & kept goin' back to those meetin's. Family moves to another town...no problem...there's AA there, too...my first meetin' there was the first one I could get to in that town-meanin'--I had to wait for meeting night to come. I was sure I had all my ducks in a row, man. I was stylin' cool
. Ya right...more like a stylin' fool. In this town 5 months...w/ that pasted on face that everything's fine
--smooth as silk. I was a nut-case in denial, even in sobriety. True...I was cornered into having that drink...literally...but I didn't have that defense that I now know I need to have against it, which comes from God as I understand Him
, that even with someone holdin' a gun to my head sayin', drink it or I'll shoot you. The defense against pickin' up has to be there enough to say, you might as well shoot me, cuz if I drink that, I'm gonna die anyway. Shootin me will only save me the agony. Did I get it all together, yet? Sure! ###...uh...####. I didn't drink after that...but my mind got to goin' where...I wasn't drinkin'...BUT...another mind altering substance squeaked it's way into the picture. I've been around this program since Nov. 2000...yet, I've had to reset my sobriety date to Dec. 20, 2005. Those guys in the beginnin' was right...slow down. Take It Easy/Easy Does It. I was determined, though...I kept comin' back, & lookin' back on it now...against a lotta odds that I was bringin' onto myself. My part
. Today...handin' over my will & my life means somethin' a whole lot different than it did back in 2000. I'm grateful, though...cuz I see, that in fact, I had/was handin' it over...cuz by hook 'r by crook, here I'd be & here I am--still headin' out to these meetin's, doin' the steps and workin' at it. Being clean & sober is a breeze, man---staying
sober, now that takes a lotta work, and a lotta action.
Catch ya'll on the flip side,