Nice to see you again! And, to read from you!
Tough decisions, eh? I understand. Life seems to be full of them. Sometimes they can be downright fun -- and sometimes a bit edgy!
In regards to any advice on letting go and letting God ... I'm probably the least qualified to offer any -- in that regard. It's something that I hear often from many people... and I've heard it for many years... and I don't understand it any better today than the first time that I heard it.
For me... if I use this illustration... (in regards to letting go and letting God)... say, I'm walking along and I'm carrying an empty bucket... and I let go and let God... I don't see how it's going to do anything other than fall to the floor.... no matter how much I trust, or pray or believe, or whatever. And, if I'm walking along with a big plate of food... and it's too heavy for me... and I decide to let go and let God... it's difficult for me to imagine anything happening other than the plate of food will end up on the floor.
I guess the way I understand it... for me... is that God gave me a brain and tools to use. So far as I'm aware of... He hasn't done my thinking for me, and He expects me to use the tools (which is why He gave them to me). And, I grow and learn through the experience of using the tools. When I was a kid... and I would use a hammer... often I would hit the wrong nail! Ouch!!! But, I kept on hammering, and learned how to better hold the hammer! I guess I could have always let go of the hammer... and let God hammer. And, if He did... I would be no better off today, in regards to hammers... than I was when I was a kid.
I do understand two concepts of "letting go." (But, they seem to be different than the one's that I usually hear about).
They are: A surrender that a problem is bigger than me and a reaching out to ask for God to help me know and understand what "my next action" should be. And, a "letting go" of my old ideas. When I wake up each morning... yesterdays ideas are my old ideas... so, I try to always be willing to let go of them so that I can receive a new one.
What I've often found to be going on for me... is that I have some stuff brewing under the surface of my awareness (below my conscious understanding) ... and it's that stuff that's making it difficult for me to make a particular decision. The stuff that's down there, deep inside me... that's brewing... and sometimes bubbling or steaming... (the stuff that I'm unaware of)... is trying to come to the surface of my conscious awareness... so that I can do something about it. And, it causes pressure... on my daily decision making tasks.... which often leaves me feeling confused... and feeling insecure or sometimes afraid... and I don't know what it is that I'm insecure about or fearing.
Anyhoot... I've discovered that if I'll use some tools to "uncover" that stuff thats brewing (that I'm not aware about)... the release of that pressure provides such a relief to me... that my other problems (that I was aware about) seem to almost magically produce their own great solutions.
Hopefully, someone else here will be able to offer some sound advice about letting go and letting God... and it can help you, and I can learn something new today!
Hurry back Molly! I like hearing from you!