New: I'm Ann Marie..."littlemiss"

[anniemac]

Dallas - is your sponsor a circuit speaker? If so, may I know who?

[Dallas]

Hey Littlemiss!!!

Just wanted to be sure that there was a word or two for you here -- when you log in! I hope all is well with you!!! Hang in. Let go. Hang on. Keep coming back. Don't ever leave. Keep the plug in the jug. Go to a meeting. Get a sponsor (if you can find one). Read the book. Pray. Clean house. Trust God. Help another alcoholic. Take the Steps. First things first. Meditate. Relax and take it easy. Keep it simple. Don't take yourself too seriously. Live and let live. Fake it till you make it. Act as if. Do it now. Just do it. Stop doing that. Spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. One-day-at-a-time. For the rest of your life. 24 hours a day. One heart beat at a time. It's the first drink that get's you drunk. Imagine that!!!

Hopefully, you can grab on to one of those ideas and thoughts and it will help you to have a better now.

Remember.... WIN.... "What's Important Now! Right now is what we've got! All that's important -- is "right now!!!"

Wishing you the best.

Dallas

[littlemiss]

O.K.! I guess I'm confused cuz there are just TOO MANY topics/threads so I never know where to post...

I posted about the not-so-good-A.A. meeting I went to somewhere else...

I'll try some other meetings...am still reading...drinking on & off in evening...still on the fence...

Sigh...

[Dallas]

Keep reading the Big Book... even if you're drinking. I was able to understand it and relate to it while I was drinking.... and then... all my understanding went away once I read it sober. But, reading it while I was drinking -- was carrying a message to me. And, I finally got the message!

[littlemiss]

Yes, Dallas...I'm getting it...I am a voracious reader & am reading lots of addiction books...and the little red book--women's version...

WHY in the HELL do I want to try & get sober RIGHT BEFORE the HOLIDAYS AGAIN!?

Last time it was right before Nov. 13th--my 35th b-day...then all of the winter holidays...and then in a few months my 20 daughter turns 21!!!!
She doesn't drink...but does want to celebrate w/ a glass of champagne w/ her Mummy...

Shoot me now...

I'm thinking of talking about my drinking w/ my husband when we go away soon for the 3-Day weekend...

I WISH I had those 4 days put together back...

[Dallas]

For me... it got to the point that anytime would have been a great time to get sober!!! My problem was.... I couldn't get sober. No matter how hard I tried....... I couldn't get sober. I hope that doesn't happen to you.

My first time in AA was December 28th, 1985. That was New Year's Eve weekend! And, I got through it.

All was well until the following Memorial Day weekend -- when I started buying drinks for "her". And, then I started sipping her drinks... until I was drinking her drinks. I got so ripped that I thought I was still sober... because I was buying the drinks for her! I'm a figure-outter by nature, and I figured, that if they were her drinks -- then I was still a sober member of AA!!!!

It took a little over a week drinking... and the Border Patrol telling me that I couldn't bring several cases of booze back from Mexico, for my friends in A.A. that didn't drink.

I was having a hard time explaining to the Border Patrol that "I'm a sober member of AA! This is for my friends in AA that don't drink -- I'm going to autograph the bottles for them so that they can have them as souvenirs to remember when I was sober in AA, too!"

Suddenly..... it was like a Moment of Clarity.... I was no longer a sober member of AA!

Alcohol really does twist our brains in such a way that we eventually develop this strange mental twist -- that some of us refer to as nothing less than plain insanity!

Be careful.... don't let that ever happen to you!

If I don't drink between now and Thanksgiving.... this could be my 22nd continuous sober Thanksgiving in a row.... with no drinks in-between!!!

I'll do the same thing that I've done on each previous Thanksgiving.... I'll be in a meeting somewhere in A.A. That's where I like to spend those special holidays, in gratitude, and hopefully, to be able to be there in case a future member of AA comes in the door, hurting as much as I did.

Dallas

[littlemiss]

[quote="Dallas"]

It took a little over a week drinking... and the Border Patrol telling me that I couldn't bring several cases of booze back from Mexico, for my friends in A.A. that didn't drink.

I was having a hard time explaining to the Border Patrol that "I'm a sober member of AA! This is for my friends in AA that don't drink -- I'm going to autograph the bottles for them so that they can have them as souvenirs to remember when I was sober in AA, too!"

Suddenly..... it was like a Moment of Clarity.... I was no longer a sober member of AA!

God this was funny...well, ya know what I mean...

Alcohol really does twist our brains in such a way that we eventually develop this strange mental twist -- that some of us refer to as nothing less than plain insanity!

Be careful.... don't let that ever happen to you!

[littlemiss]

Yesterday I went to YET ANOTHER non-existant A.A. meeting! They sure don't I start to get the hint when NO ONE seems to be showing up in the parking lot...BUT, this time I made myself call the L.A. meeeting contact to find out where the meeting moved to...It was just down the street & he got me the new address! SO, I didn't use the excuse to just go home! YAY ME!
It was a great women's meeting...I really liked it & felt welcome...They are studying the BB & the 12 & 12...so I got the 12 & 12 one yesterday...

[carol1017]

Good for you, Ann Marie!!!

Now that you have found a real meeting with real people (and real coffee, no doubt), I hope you will begin to listen for the similarities in the stories that the other women share, and that you will begin to identify with them.

As you become more comfortable, ask for telephone numbers of the women you identify with -- it's always a good idea to have someone to call if you are thinking about drinking, or just having a rough time.

You're making good progress!

[littlemiss]

Carol,
The lady that started that group yesterday called me today...cuz I put my name on the phone list ...& she told me of a few other meetings...

I LOVE the 12 & 12 Book...I've never seen it before...I can identify w/ the housewife story in the BB EVEN THOUGH her case is more extreme in many ways than mine...
Am working on my "homework" ya gave me & my gratitude list...

Last night:

Was mostly grateful that I found that meeting...it's small & intimate...& they were so sweet & welcoming to me...AND I can always go to it, cuz it's on Thursday @ noon when my daughter is in school all day (otherwise, she is home cuz I homeschool her--she has special needs). There is another meeting there on Tues. evenings w/ lots of the same women + more...

Was also grateful to hear how much the program had changed the women's lives...gave me HOPE...
Grateful that I think I'm starting to "get it" a tiny bit more...but still really have No Idea what I'm doing...
Grateful for someone giving me a little direction/suggestions..carol...

YET, I'm still pretty at odds about when to tell my husband...am anxious that we are going away next weekend ...feel like I'm trying to quit at the worst-possible-time-in-the-UNIVERSE...

BUT. I do know that I will continue to read & go to meetings...I'm planning on another women's meeting tomorrow morning...
Was it this confusing for all of YOU?