- New: I'm Ann Marie..."littlemiss"

New: I'm Ann Marie..."littlemiss"




Introduce yourself or read introductions from others!

Meetings

Postby tj » Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:28 pm

Ann Marie,

Thanks for your posts about meetings. I thought I was the only one going to "non-existent" meetings. I finally found a group that is close but I haven't really connected with anyone yet. It is probably because I have had a down week this week. The weekend will be better. Keep going and keep posting. I can relate to alot of what you are shraing. You are giving me encouragement.

Manette
tj
 
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Postby littlemiss » Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:41 pm

TJ,
Hi...Well, NOW I simply will call the contact person to make sure the meeting still meets wherever it says it does...Sheesh! I'm actually really surprised they don't at least keep the website (for L.A. area anyway) updated...?????

But, Hell, I suppose God is making me work a bit here... :P might be something to THAT...cuz of course, ya know, I just want it ALL to fall in my lap w/ out much struggle or effort--snort!

I'm just going to make myself check out lots of different meetings...I didn't like that 1st one I went to...& almost didn't go in...but I DID...made myself...I'm mostly interested in women-only meetings...suppose I should be grateful that we have tons of meetings in S. Calif. to choose from!

I DID NOT feel welcome much 6 years ago when I was going to a few women's meetings...but then again, I didn't get the whole 12 Step thing much then...I think it might be helpful to even go to Al-Anon meetings also...

Make yourself put your name & phone # on the phone lists at meetings...I give my cell phone ...
My problem is that I can so easily get that Pink Cloud feeling where I just totally think I'm doing well...I'm ready to be done w/ drinking forever & it even feels easy & I'm tripping out that I don't even WANT to drink on a certain night...and then BAM! before I know it, all of those dreamy feelings disappear & I'm all confused...
BUT, ya know what helped me yesterday at that meeting? They confirmed over & over that I only needed to desire to quit..(& even that can be half-assed...that addict part of us)...but KEEP SHOWING UP at meetings...Baby Steps...so i DO feel like #### that I haven't got another string of days TOGETHER of Sobriety...and I'm not sure what date I want to choose to STOP FOR GOOD...cuz Dear Lord, I just don't know if I CAN do it before my vacation weekend coming up...(plus, I'm telling my husband THEN...

But hey! At least I'm being HONEST...& TRYING...& I'm wanting Sobriety more than I ever have before in my LIFE...
And I'm pretty damn SURE I want what A.A.'ers HAVE...
and I finally believe that it just might be possible for me BECAUSE I'll have HELP from my fellows & God.
Just might take me a bit...

Guess that's my check-in, Carol...:)
Keep posting TJ...it helps ME!
littlemiss
 
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Location: S. Calif.

Postby littlemiss » Fri Nov 02, 2007 9:45 pm

SO.
I decided Nov. 1st was as good as any...I'm on Day 2 today...

I'm planning on going to a meeting tomorrow...but I'm having huge sleep
issues...as per usual, so let's see if I am not up again on & off all night...I
need to go though...haven't been to a meeting since last Sat. I DID tell my husband I'm not drinking though...so THAT was good...really good... He's very supportive...

I was just triggered a few minutes ago cuz my husband has to go out of town for 2 nights to fix the pipes at his mom's cabin AGAIN...and that is when I usually really want to drink...that alone time...and I'm hormonal right now Big Time...so that doesn't help AT ALL...am all teary...

***BUT, I'm not DRINKING...:) Am going to go take a bath! And, I don't really want to drink...I just hate being so emotional--out-of-sorts...not like me at all...But I know this is normal, right?
I'm reading the Living Sober book...
p.s. - I'm wondering also if there's another A.A. Recovery board that has more newcomers on it...doesn't seem like there are very many here...???
~Y'all are quiet around here...hope all are well...
Ann Marie
--





~Ann Marie~
"Denial is essential if you want to keep your plans on track."
### Cat Named Darwin ####
littlemiss
 
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Location: S. Calif.

Postby Dallas » Fri Nov 02, 2007 11:51 pm

lilmiss wrote:Y'all are quiet around here...hope all are well...


Hmmmm.... ? Imagine that! :lol:

Haven't heard from you in a while! :lol:

I'm sure their are many other Recovery Boards on the Internet with tons of newcomers on them!

I'm not sure if you've noticed or not... but, often newcomers want to be around other newcomers... so that they can have what newcomers have... and that's being a newcomer. :lol:

When I was a newcomer in A.A., I wanted to find the old-timers and be where they were at, because I wanted what they had -- they were old-timers and I wanted to become one! :lol:

I figured: "If I do what newcomers do -- I'll be a newcomer. And, if I do what old-timers do -- I might become an old-timer."

Newcomers usually have different ideas than old-timers. They think different. That's why they're newcomers! :lol: :lol:

To get over drinking requires a transformation of thought and attitude -- and, that takes time.... and it takes experience with taking certain actions... and, it doesn't come from theorizing.

Newcomers like to spend a lot of time theorizing and thinking about how they think it works... or, thinking about how they think it should work ... and old-timers like to discuss how it actually works. :lol:

I'm not knocking newcomers... we all had to be one when we started! But, if we kept doing what newcomers do and talking about what newcomers talk about... we would still be newcomers. And, if we start thinking and doing like newcomers do -- we'll probably end up becoming newcomers, again! :lol:

Maybe, that's why we're so quiet around here. Newcomers seem to need a lot of noise and chatter.... and old-timers are trying to enjoy their quiet, peaceful serenity. :lol:

Good luck on the boards with lots of newcomers! :lol: I don't have that much patience or serenity to be there with them. I like it better when I'm not out-numbered :wink:

Dallas
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Postby tj » Sat Nov 03, 2007 5:53 am

Ann Marie,

I am one of the newcomers that Dallas is talking about and I will share what I did during the first few weeks that helped. I think the best and most important thing that I did was read the Big Book over and over. The personal stories always spoke to me, especially the one that talks about the fact that your sobriety has to have a life of its own. I have, as we all do, many outside forces that could threaten my sobriety, but I keep it protected from them so that it will go on no matter what else is happening in my life. I also exercised like crazy. That is key for me. It uses up all my excess energy and most importantly, helped me sleep. I also called people when I needed help. There is nothing like talking to another drunk. I found that I had to go to a meeting or talk to another drunk every day to keep my sanity. Another thing that was helpful was listening to speaker tapes. I can private message you a site from which you can either download and listen or just listen to speaker tapes. There is one woman named Faye W from Little Rock, Arkansas who can always help snap me out of a funk of self-pity. All of this is, of course, in addition to working the steps and working with your sponsor. That is the most important thing.

Don't know why I left this until last but prayer was and is my constant companion. I prayed before I got sober, but it is more vital prayer now. The first few weeks my emotions and thoughts were so garbled that prayer was hard so I read prayers instead of saying my own. God still listened. I will be praying for you.

Manette
tj
 
Posts: 91
Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:00 am
Location: Spring, Texas

Postby littlemiss » Sat Nov 03, 2007 9:09 am

Dallas,

I didn't mean I wanted a board w/ mostly or all newcomers--sigh...I get what you're saying about the experience of old-timers--I want/need that...I just need a few newcomers around...like TJ...:)...Someone a bit ahead of me, but still on my beginning path to share their experience/encoragement also..make sense?
littlemiss
 
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Joined: Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:34 am
Location: S. Calif.

Postby anniemac » Sun Nov 04, 2007 2:22 pm

Yes, Ann Marie, that makes sense. I think there's something very powerful about learning and growing up together. There's a big feeling of togetherness with those who one "comes in" with. I've heard over and over that some newcomers can't at all relate to someone with 20 years, but someone with 20 days is like a miracle to them. When I was brand new, I felt very inadequate around all those long-timers who had serenity in their lives; there was no way that I could imagine that they ever felt the way that I was feeling. I think it's very important for newcomers to have a good mix of other newcomers and long-timers around them. To me, it's in the thinking and trying to figure out that we learn and grow. I can now look back and see how I over-complicated the heck out of things; yet no one could tell me that back then; I had to learn my own way, by doing all that over-complicating. And it sure was helpful to have others doing the same thing, so I didn't feel that terminal uniqueness and aloneness. Hope you've had an awesome weekend!
anniemac
 
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Postby carol1017 » Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:44 pm

Ann Marie,

I'm glad to see you made a decision that you have a problem with alcohol, and that you have decided to stop drinking and do something about it.

You might try looking for AA groups that have a "newcomers" or "beginners" meeting -- the internet is a wonderful resource and supplement, but cannot replace face-to-face meetings.

You might also look for a sponsor who has some time in the program -- a sponsor will help to guide you through the steps, so that you are being led in the right direction.

Dallas is absolutely right that sobriety requires a transformation of thought and attitude -- it also requires action; action to take the steps to maintain your sobriety.

I can understand your wanting to go through this with someone at your own level of sobriety, but remember, you are not alone -- every single person in AA has been where you are now. Take advantage of the opportunity to learn. Another newcomer may feel your pain more strongly (only because it's been more recent), but they're not going to get and keep you sober.

The only things required to work the steps are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness.
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Postby littlemiss » Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:36 am

Annie,

Thank you...I could so relate to your post...that's what I meant...Can I just CYBER-HUG you?
...and I HAVE found a few women's meetings--one with several "high-bottom-ers" :wink: and new-comers... but they also have LOTS of stong long-timers...& some serious-low-bottomers...I'm finding it good just to LISTEN to them all...their stories...their E,S,& H. I'm showing up...getting on phone lists/calling a bit...

I'm reading like A.A. Lit. like crazy & praying...& I'm trying to just just go to several different meetings to decide which ones I want to go to most...and I want a sponsor, but I want to wait until I find someone I think would be a good fit...my tendency would be to rush-in on that...

I'm even working on the Steps...but not sure if I'm supposed to do that by myself...??? Am still pretty green here...

**AND, I'm on Day 5 today!!!! But am soooo NOT sleeping...Uggghhh....
littlemiss
 
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Location: S. Calif.

Postby littlemiss » Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:45 am

carol1017 wrote:Ann Marie,

I'm glad to see you made a decision that you have a problem with alcohol, and that you have decided to stop drinking and do something about it.

You might try looking for AA groups that have a "newcomers" or "beginners" meeting -- the internet is a wonderful resource and supplement, but cannot replace face-to-face meetings.

**I will check one of those out...there aren't many but
I know of one by me on Wed. nights...***

You might also look for a sponsor who has some time in the program -- a sponsor will help to guide you through the steps, so that you are being led in the right direction.

***Praying about that...am looking...***

Dallas is absolutely right that sobriety requires a transformation of thought and attitude -- it also requires action; action to take the steps to maintain your sobriety.

I can understand your wanting to go through this with someone at your own level of sobriety, but remember, you are not alone -- every single person in AA has been where you are now. Take advantage of the opportunity to learn. Another newcomer may feel your pain more strongly (only because it's been more recent), but they're not going to get and keep you sober.

The only things required to work the steps are honesty, open-mindedness and willingness.


**Right...so can I BEGIN working on the steps by myself...until I get a sponsor...just reading about Steps 1-4 has got me working on them/part mentally, part written...***
littlemiss
 
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