When I first decided I needed to stop drinking, and decided that AA may help, all I wanted to do was stop the pain I had inside. I knew that my drinking was causing the pain, and I knew I couldnt stop on my own--God knows I had tried.
So I walked though the doors of AA with one thing in mind, no more pain.
What I got was a whole new life.
I never even dreamed what that new life would in-tell.
A strong bond with God.
A happiness that I didnt even know existed.
Looking in the mirror and honestly saying that I like and love the person I see.
Feeling a bond that I have never felt with my fellow members.
So many more that I dont think I can list them all.
But, what has blown my mind the most, what gift I have been given that is bigger than I could ever imagined, is working with another Alcoholic. Watching her grow.
Seeing the change in her face.
Seeing God come alive in her.
Seeing her pain slowly slipping away.
The excitement about working the next step when we finish one.
The gratitude she has for me-even when I try to tell her its not me, its the program and my first sponsor who took me through the steps, and God.
The willingness she has.
The trust she has in me, because my first sponsor taught me to keep it in the book.
Watching her kick this disease's ass.
My heart is full today with happiness, pride (not in a ego way), gratitude, love, God........So full it feels like its just going to overflow all in me.
I miss being able to share it with my old sponsor. That is why I am where I am today....I would never have gotten this far if I wasnt taken through the steps the way I was, and taught to keep it in the book. I just wish I could let the one who taught me, see that I am passing it on.
I love this program, for all that it has given me, when all I wanted was for the pain to go away just enough to be bearable---Now I have a life that I never knew I could.
Talk about "Expect the Unexpected"