One of the thoughts that used to swirl around in my head -- for many years in A.A., was wondering if I would ever live long enough sober -- to have been sober longer than I drank as an alcoholic!
I was just doing some figuring... and figured out that I have finally stayed sober longer than I drank as an alcoholic! And, that just puts big ole' goose bumps up and down my arms and neck!!!
Talk about "Expect the unexpected!"
That just absolutely blows me away!
I started drinking when I was around 13 years old... but, I didn't drink like an alcoholic until I was 15 years old! That was when I developed the inability to leave alcohol alone -- entirely.
There were many times when I could have gone many months without drinking... (being able to control when I would drink -- and a few times I actually did it! ) ... then, as time progressed, I reached a place where I couldn't leave it alone for more than a couple of hours!
And, then... my drinking got so bad that I stopped trying to control it... I would read the Big Book while drinking and wonder why "I couldn't get it" (sobriety) again!!!!
When I was new in A.A., I remember hearing A.A. members say "Expect the unexpected." And, a few said "don't leave before the miracle happens!"
Well... "the miracle" wasn't happening! And, my drinking history had already proved to me that "the miracle was not going to happen" no matter how long I kept coming back.... if I didn't change what I was doing... while I kept coming back!
I am so grateful that A.A. gave me a way out. And, the way out, was not attending more meetings -- it was taking certain actions -- before and after the meetings! It was the "taking certain actions" that produced the miracle!
So, now... I would like to say to others who may have heard the old saying "keep coming back until the miracle happens"... that you had better get busy taking the actions of the 12 Steps... and create your miracle of sobriety... rather than risk it to "chance" that you might be able to stay sober between the meetings!
If the only thing that I did was go to meetings -- the miracle would never have happened!
I finally got the unexpected!
P.S. Recovery does not come through the butt... by sitting in a chair in A.A. meetings. Recovery comes through taking the Steps... by following the precise instructions as they are presented in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous! And, to "keep recovery"... we have to continue following those instructions... and... continue passing on what we have received.