It's one AM here in Denver and it's also my 34 day since finding out about the wonderful "Club" that no one really wanted to be a part of, and now I'm a part of to (Thank God)
Can't sleep tonight, I'm having a horrid time feeling guilty. You see, I had been trying to stay sober on my own for years and years, having the ability to string a few months together only to crash and burn. Well, this last train wreck seems to have cost the most. Not because I lost a job or got another DUI or did something stupid to myself, but because I hurt someone who I fell in love with. Someone who I feel truely cared for me too.
Before, I would crash alone and move about it rather quickly but this time it seems that I've taken someone dear to me along for the ride.
I hear that there are no mistakes in God's world, and believe me, I'm so thankful for my friend who gave me hope through sharing AA with me, but tonight it seems soooo expensive, at the cost that is paid by another.
My heart is breaking not knowing how to show this person that I'm twisted about what's happened.
I know I've lost her trust, and trust is better than love sometimes.
I want to "let go and let God" in everything but tonight, I'm Jacked but sober.
Thank you guys,