Hi my name is Ruthie an I am an alcoholic and an addict. I have been going to AA and sometimes NA for about 4 years. I can't seem to get any time sober and clean. I know I am powerless, my life is definitely unmanageable, but for some reason I keep thinking I can do just a little more. I always fail. Now, I am stuck at home, in the country, with my truck chained up by my husband, unable to go to meetings. My truck is chained up as a consequence of going back out there. I know I have to suffer this. My problem is getting the courage to pull out that phone list and calling everyone on that list to see if someone can drive all the way out here in the country, pick me up, take me to a meeting AND bring me home. I have tried a few numbers and of course they are unable. They have work, kids, I feel rejected. I know I can't trust my feelings. I hate asking anyone to go out of their way like this. Should I keep trying. I take it personal and I know I shouldn't. I just want to give up.
This is my first sharing here and it may sound stupid but I don't care today.
I just want to know what someone else might do.
Would you go way in the country to pick someone up?
What are the odds that someone will say yes? honestly.
I want the AA way. How do I stop trying to do it my way. I have trouble with the God thing. I am working on that. It is very difficult.