Thank God for nothing...

[garden variety]

Sometimes when I read that book, certain words and sentences jump out and knock me right between the eyes. It happens right when it needs to. Sometimes it's just simple sentences that I've glossed over a hundred times. But then on one fine day, something magic happens. Somehow God uses this bright highlighter around a couple of those words. Sometimes that Light is so bright, that it makes me reflect about it, and then sometimes a miracle happens - I really understand the words in a way like I never did before. It really is like getting rocketed into a forth dimension of existence of which I had never dreamed.

I was reading and discussing things with some fellow, and all of the sudden this jumped out at me and started doing cartwheels and jumping jacks to get my attention:

"...there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet."

I used to always think that the "kit of spiritual tools" was the main point - that it stood out the most. How many times have so many of us get to talking about that "spiritual toolkit"? Now I have the tools - now you have the tools. I readch into the spiritual toolkit. There's a wrench in that toolkit for every kind of nut (like you and me!).

But for some reason, it was the other part of that sentence that caought my attention. You know, the part that says "...there was nothing left for us..."

Yes it is a wonderful thing to have a "kit of spiritual tools" that make this "Design for living" really work. But the words "there was nothing left for us" really - I mean REALLY - reminds me about the price each one of us has paid for this little toolkit. Most folks don't give it second thought that the "tools" are talked about in the form of a "tool kit". But what about:

"...there was nothing left for us..."

Here's what those words started saying to me. They remind me of that time when I was not happy about "sobriety". I'm reminded about how I couldn't picture a life without alcohol - and that deep down feeling of knowing that if I wanted to stay alive, I could never drink again. How clearly those words brought to my mind "wishing for the end" of my life...a life I couldn't imagine with or without alcohol. I was reminded again, over the past couple weeks listening to another alcoholic say those words over and over "I wish my life would just end - I can't take this any more."

"...there was nothing left for us..."

Those words bring tears to my eyes. And if anyone remembers their last drunk and early sobriety, odds are those words can bring tears to your eyes too. You know why. We all know why.

"Then he will know lonliness such as few do."

Friends, I thank God for that place of "nothing left". This "simple kit of spiritual tools" would be meaningless if there wasn't the price we paid when we reached that "jumping-off place".

My home group has a saying posted on this huge sign. It says "Watch well your beginnings, and the results will manage themselves."

I pray I never forget what it was like to be the "new man".

[Dallas]

Thanks Paul.
That's a very inspirational message.

I often remember the price that our Founders and the Pioneers of A.A. paid, and those that came after them, and those that came before me. Had there not been their dedication and efforts and self-sacrifices, there would have been nothing left for me.... period. No spiritual tools. Just the lonely, miserable, painful end.

But, because of their sacrifices and efforts, and a wonderful loving God that was guiding them, helping them, and working through them, a solution was provided to all of us alcoholics that have suffered.

And, today, if an alcoholic continues to suffer, it's because of one of two reasons:

1. They are unwilling to get honest enough with themselves, unwilling to make the effort, and unwilling to accept with humility, the hopelessness and powerlessness of their circumstances, and unwilling to at least attempt to believe in the power of God, and pick up that precious spiritual tool-kit and make use of it.

Or,

2. They are the unfortunate ones... the alcoholics that are still suffering, because they have not yet heard the message of the program and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

While we may think often of the fact that many alcoholics that have heard the Message of Alcoholics Anonymous and rejected it -- there are many, many, many others -- right in our own communities and neighborhoods, as well as around the world -- that have not had the opportunity to hear about Alcoholics Anonymous.

For those of us who have been blessed with having the Message brought to us, we need to be always mindful, that there are other alcoholics and their loved ones, their families, friends and relatives, employers, judges, doctors, clerics and pasters.... that have not heard our Message of Hope for the alcoholic that still suffers. For this -- we are all, as sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous, responsible to be here -- to be there -- so that they can find us so that they will reach out to us, and we can let them know that we have been given the Power to help them recover.

May that Loving God continue to guide us, and direct us, and give us the strength and power and motivation to reach out to our brothers and sisters of suffering, regardless of who or where they are.

Dallas B.

[Jackie]

Hello guys! Still Here And Still Sober!
You are right,I will never forget where I came from or the fear of being
alone.
But still here I am and its getting better, (this living sober thing) not to say that everyday is great but little by little I'm learning to live and live with acceptance that I can choose to smile as I stumble my way back from the Bottom.
I dont know why or what AA does for me but I do know that I need it in my life.
Another 24 to all!

[Dallas]

Great to hear from you Jackie!!!

I've missed you! Nice to know that you are doing well.

Keep coming back!

Dallas