- I drank last night

I drank last night




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

I drank last night

Postby Jools » Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:01 pm

I thought I at least owed y'all the truth. And I'm drinking tonight.

And I thank GOD for Paul.

Julie
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Postby garden variety » Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:19 pm

Thank God for God!

Thank God for you, Julie. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I appreciate your comment - I wish I could take the credit for being the man that I am. Without a loving God, I'm nothing more than a garden variety drunk. Honest. And without the recovery program known as the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and its Fellowship of men and women, I wouldn't have found a loving God.

If I could trade every single day, month, and year of my sobriety for one today of yours, if it would keep you sober, I would.

Please stay with us.
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Postby Tim » Fri Oct 24, 2008 3:41 pm

I'm saddened to read that you are drinking again. I was a relapser myself. A key element for me in maintaining sobriety is the sentence in the AA Big Book, "Some of us tried to hold on to our old ideas, but the result was nil until we let go absolutely."

You are in my prayers that you achieve sobriety. Take care....Tim
Last edited by Tim on Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:15 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby kiltylyn » Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:38 pm

Hi Julie

Thanks for your honesty.
I had to be real beaten by this illness to give up and that wasn't over night. If I hadn't had the willingness to change I would be back out today. Just for today I am sober through a power that I found in the rooms , healthy sponsorship and the Program. I treasure my one to one times with my sponsor who has been through the program using the BB and 12 Steps. I would only admit to having a problem with booze when I first came to AA , I just couldn't stay stopped. Once I began to learn what I suffered from the acceptance came in time. Its got to be worth a go Julie, it realy works
You will be in my thoughts
Linda
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Postby sunlight » Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:01 pm

I've heard of "Step Zero", which is willingness.

Yep, willing to go to any lengths, as the garden man said.

I was looking for someone to sponsor me through the steps & I asked this woman. She said no, that unless you drank you didn't need to work the steps again (I disagree), but if you drank then, obviously, you missed something & you didn't "get it".

The committee went round & round wondering what did they miss & what didn't they get? I thought it was something lofty & spiritual & about God that only monks could get or whatever.

Then it hit me - the fact that, if I am an alcoholic, I can't safely drink!

No! Could it be that simple? Could that be what was missed?

Sure, there's lots more after that, but for me that's the very 1st thing.
If I overlook this basic truth, all the rest of the program is crippled for me in some way.

Hang in there Julie & know we're all here for you. And I bet God even thanks Himself for Paul! :lol: :lol:
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Postby ccs » Fri Oct 24, 2008 5:16 pm

I`m really sad for you Julie I`ll be praying for your safe return
Luv ya!!
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Postby DME39 » Fri Oct 24, 2008 6:28 pm

Read my last post of my introduction girlfriend....my thoughts are always with you..love darlene
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Postby Dallas » Sun Oct 26, 2008 1:46 am

Hey Julie,

Keep coming back.

After you get back, it will help to figure out what you were doing before -- that needs to be changed -- and what you weren't doing, that you could have been doing -- that can help you to stay sober.

One thing about it -- the first requirement of success in A.A. is failure. We have to fail to get here, and then some of us have to fail again, in order to stay here.

Best wishes. We're all rooting for you and we're here to help.

Dallas
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Postby Jools » Sun Oct 26, 2008 7:05 pm

I just want to let you all know that I've been to 2 meetings today. Still a lil shaky but feeling much better than earlier today.

Thanks for being here and I'll get back up with y'all tomorrow when I'm feeling better.

Julie
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day 2

Postby Jools » Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:36 pm

Good evening to you all,

I really don't know where to begin so I'll just start with what I think was happening. It seemed like I couldn't shake the thought of drinking and I was mad about it. No matter how much I prayed, the thought was still there. There were periods when I didn't want to drink and maybe even a whole day or two in that 60 days I was sober. I was envious when I saw other people drinking in real life and on tv. I didn't want to be an alcoholic and was very resentful of that fact deep down inside. The more I went without, the angrier I became. Please don't get me wrong, I had some very good days not drinking, it's just that I allowed the negative thoughts overshadow the good ones.

I honestly think those three days of drinking did a lot of good, even tho I'm still suffering physically today. For one, I came to the realization that not drinking wasn't as bad as I was making it in my mind.

I truly do know that I'm powerless over alcohol, I have NO doubt in my mind that I am. What I haven't given up power of is trying to control others my son included. I got real crazy with all that anger just building and building inside of me and it really scared me. I took 5 muscle relaxers Friday night because I was just tired of fighting. I surrender.

I know your prayers helped and as well as my pleas to God to PLEASE just help me. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for those. I feel really at peace right now.


God bless you all.
Julie
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