My sponsor has always said to me, that one of my greatest problems is my perception.
Perception = what I understand (think) about what I see and hear.
I seem to have a unique ability to have an "understanding as I understand it"... that doesn't always match the reality of what I see or hear.
A simple example might be... I have an understanding of Green.
I also have an understanding of Blue.
I see someone do Green, or hear someone say Green, and my understanding is that they really said Blue... so when they say Green, or do Green, I'm thinking what they really mean and do is Blue.
It happens very fast. Faster than I'm aware of it happening... because my head operates at the speed of light... faster than I can see it happening.
So, I have to slow down, and take consistant actions -- that will eventually change my perceptions.
Once my perceptions are changed... and I keep them changing... I have less problems and life gets better for me.
Bill wrote in our Big Book: "To get over drinking
will require a transformation of thought and attitude." (page 143... in one of the least-read Chapters of our book).
My perceptions are based... not on the reality of understanding what I see... they are tainted and flavored and tinted... by my attitudes... and my attitudes are a composition of my beliefs. (Usually, my old ideas).
So I have to undergo a constant "changing of the heart" (my ideas, my beliefs, my attitudes)... that will automatically make changes in my perceptions.
Once that happens... I can live at peace with me, with God, and with others. Giving them all the benefit of my doubts.... by stepping back with love and tolerance ... and reminding myself to "wait a while before acting or re-acting"... to figure out if I'm having one of those "mis-perceptions."
You know... the "other guy or girl" (whomever it might be) might be suffering from attention-deficit-perceptions or other perception problems also ... They may really think that they are doing or saying Green, but what they are doing or saying is Blue... (as they understand Blue and Green)... So, if I'm developing some "change of heart" in myself... I can give them the same breaks that I'm giving to myself... and not take stuff too seriously.