I remember years ago, before sobriety, I dated a PAM. And, sure enough... I was drunk as a skunk.
The last PAM I met was sober. She and me. I'm still sober but I didn't date her. I sure wanted to date her!!! And, I would have tried... if I'd a had the courage to ask.
Referring to dates............ My sobriety date is November 14th., 1986
Before that date... I had tried AA and didn't take Silky or Bill's ideas with too much grain of current reality...
After I had a second chance at sobriety... I was scared crapeless that a bottle of alcohol would sneak up on me during the night and pour itself down my throat!
I'm an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. What that means to me -- is even the idea of sobriety is hopeless -- for a drunk of my type.
My sponsor told me that I'm one of the types that that Old Big Book was written for... and that if I wanted to keep my sobriety date... I'd get real serious about making it my reality -- what was written in it -- regardless if I believed it or not.
That suggestion has helped me to stay sober.
Since I got sober -- there have been all kinds of "new ideas" about drinking, alcohol, sobriety for alcoholics, recovery... etceteras.
What I've noticed about many new ideas that go against the grain of old ideas in the Big Book... is that new ideas are constantly changing. And, sometimes... they go right back full-circle to the old ideas.
As far as I'm concerned even if science someday discovers some new ideas... or pills... (remember the miracle drug Valium?
) that will prove the old Big Book ideas wrong... whomever wants to risk it and go with the new ideas -- my hat is off to them.
As for me... I'll stick with believing the old ideas in the Big Book. They've worked just fine for me, and they still work fine for me, and I still believe them and do them.
Yep. I'm probably one of thos nutty AA radicals... that takes everything in the Big Book literally. But, why shouldn't I? It works great for me and has done miracles for me. I don't push any of it off on anyone else... That ain't my job. My job is just to share my experience... not my theories and opinions for others.
Someday, they might write a new-and-improved Big Book. And, that doesn't bother me at all. I'll hang on to my old one -- that has proved to work for alcoholics of my type for over 70-something years. (And, I'm not that old and haven't been sober that long!). I just gave a sobriety birthday cake to my sponsor for 50 years sober. He still does the things in the Old Book -- so, it must be working for him, too.
Not all alcoholics are "my-type." That doesn't botther me. Even makes me a little unique and different!!!
I'll tell you what -- my sobriety and the good life mean so much to me -- that I would believe that the Easter Bunny eats Skippy peanut butter... if it would help me to stay sober and keep what I've got.
That's not fear of drinking... but it may be tainted with a little fear and a great desire -- to not lose what I've got -- Because what I've got is a heck of a whole lot better than anything I ever had. And, it's mine -- and I can hang on to it.
When I read the idea in the forward of the Big Book, that suggests that "for me" no other authentication will be necessary... I take that to mean that my experimenting days are over. I'll stick with the old stuff -- that keeps giving me tons of great new stuff. No complaints here Ma!