Outa the mouths of babes ... Remarkable to think it's not all for ME, huh?
It occurred to me lately that, when it was all for me, I gained for myself because there were people around me who were willing to give for my benefit. So I kept asking. It worked for a long time ... TOO LONG!
Why shouldn't I become one-o'them givers and let somebody else be needy ME for a change? Nice change.
In AA, I found a whole bunch of people who were trying to give - looking for people who need. In a strange turn of events, it also occurred to me that sometimes I SHOULD be the one in need. I found myself steeling someone else's joy of giving trying to be the biggest giver. Not humble of me. Selfishly unselfish. Ya think?
Why should I have all the joy? HHmmmmm ... can I look for ways to "need" something when I see someone needing to give? Can I suck up my pride enough to let somebody else experience the joy of giving? Isn't that giving, too?
I found another joy as well as humility being able to ask for help when I could use it. Indavertantly, I'm also taking care of arrogant self-sufficiency that was one of the things that kept me drinking, kept me from admitting I needed help to stop drinking far too long.
Kindofa catch 22 for me. Amazing to find balance between need and surplus. It can only a God thing. I ain't that smart to balance that kind of thing. I just happens.
"There is a time for every purpose under heaven."
In AA, it can also be giving to receive. What's different? My attitude and purpose. Sure, I can do it myself. But I don't have to any more. I'll just watch HP's grace through someone else right now. What a joy! I can be the needy one on purpose. HP's grace is sufficient for me.
I love being around people who are all trying
to be saints. I'm just claiming progress these days. Gotta let somebody else be the saint sometimes. It's a joy to watch.
PS: Thanks for making me think today. Helped my humbility.