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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby Dallas » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:03 am

Wow Robert! Now that's a real AA success story!!! A true sharing of "what I was like, what happened, what I am like now!"

Thank you for sharing that awesome example of "how it has worked on you!"

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Postby DebbieV » Fri Jul 31, 2009 11:09 am

Lindylu Wrote:

Impatience is a defect I suppose, I just feel I would like to get these steps under my belt soon. But like you said Dallas the BB is there for me to follow.
There are some women in my groups (not many) but I will be patient and carry on listening and learning, till my sponsor turns up.


I can relate so much to what you are saying, I got sober in an area where finding, what I considered a qualified woman sponsor, was very difficult. I was told within a few days of getting sober if I wanted to stop hurting and have a shot at staying sober that I had to do the steps. I'm not sure why I believed it the way I did, but thank God I did. I ask the man who told me that to take me through the steps, and he agreed. After the steps were completed I ask him to sponsor me and he (reluctantly I think) agreed. He is still my sponsor today. There is not a doubt in my mind that if I would have waited for a woman sponsor to take me through the steps that I would have went back to drinking.

For me there are two things I can do to treat my alcoholism:

1. Drink
2. Work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous that is laid out precisely in the Big Book.

I am so thankful today that I was in enough pain to not wait to start feeling better.

Alcoholism does not care if I can find the right person to help me or not. It wants me to drink...I think it is up to me to do the work to keep it under control by any means possible: I will get the help where ever I can..on the Internet, meetings, a male sponsor, the big book, the 12 and 12, and God..to name the most important.

I have been thinking a lot lately of my first 30 days sober. Where I was, how I looked, my thinking, the pain, how I interacted with others, just my life then and how it is now. I still have issues come up. I question myself and decisions I make but that person I was at 30 days sober didn't have a clue about how great life was going to get. How much she was going to like herself in the near future. How great of a person she could be and was already. How much the pain and hard times I had experienced in my life had prepared me to help other alcoholics. I know how much this program has done for me and I get maybe overly zealous today about talking about the steps, because I know they work if you work them. I also know, even if I forget at time if I keep doing what brought on this peace and happiness, that I have today that I will keep getting what I put into it and life just keeps getting better and better.



I will get off my soapbox now.. :lol: :lol:



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Postby ROBERT » Fri Jul 31, 2009 12:14 pm

HEY, the soap box your on, as you put it, has saved your life, and possibly could reach others!.......so by all means, let it shine DEBBIE V! When the destruction OF THE REAL PROBLEM....SELF-CENTEREDNESS-SELFISHNESS...starts, there is a huge difference in our motives, and when we share from a pure, looking out for others, place inside us...there is power there, but not from us, but coming thru us as a result of ridding ourselves of the thing(s)that are blocking us from that power,-via- working the steps of this program, which are designed to do that very thing -in the We Agnostics it tells us the program, the 12 steps is to help us find a power greater than---to do that we have to rid our selves of the blockage to that power, selfishness-self-centeredness is the blockage according to the book, the steps provide the means to do the job that we can't do ourselves---result.......happy-joyous-free- which is what I see in your post!!!.....so let your light shine DEBBIE V... I'll bet it feels............GREAT---THANK YOU.......ROBERT
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Postby garden variety » Fri Jul 31, 2009 1:12 pm

Hi Lindylu!

I'm glad you find inspiration and hope here. You are doing such a good job in finding this path and following it. That says lots about the type of woman that you are.

When an alcoholic comes into the fellowship of A.A., I've noticed that they're not the happiest folks. Many of us are plagued with an unmanageable pile of problems, many of which we brought about by our own choices. Each alcoholic has faults or "character flaws" which came about from the way we adapted and thought through the circumstances of life. Some character flaws manifested before we drank - those were usually the result of our "environment" - social, physical, emotional, and mental.

If I turn back the hands of time to before I entered this world, I was alive and surrounded by my mother's womb. I never was exposed to any type of environment over which I had any control. Most mothers take good physical care of themselves, so the environment where I started growing physically and mentally was "perfect". It was the perfect place for me, not due to my mother's will or mine, but because some "Creator" designed it that way (OR the magical process of life and evolution determined, after years of practice, that the human reproductive process had finally become perfected).

I started life in a perfect environment. I believe you did, too, Lindylu. So did every single alcoholic reading this. Until I left the perfect environment of my mother's womb, everything about me was the way it should be - the way I believe God as I understand Him wanted it to be.

Some "Cosmic Force" or "Universal Intelligence" breathed life into me, gave me lungs and a heartbeat, and a brain that was capable of figuring out any type of situation it encountered to survive and actually thrive within, or to "master" the environment. All of that was a part of what I think was a "Divine Blueprint".

Something very peculiar and unexplainable was also given to me when I started life in my mother's womb. It was something that distinguished me from everyone else. It was something I believe that God put into me so that He could tell me apart from every other human. He gave me a "soul", or a "spirit" which may have been around in His mind as long as eternity. I believe that God as I understand Him knew my name before I was born.

Bear with me, Lindylu, and everyone else, because this is related to the DISEASE of alcoholism. As a result of this illness, the book says I have a "spiritual malady". It says that I have a progressive and fatal condition which can only be "conquered" by a spiritual awakening.

When I first entered the world, my soul was perfected. I had no "character defects", and was "sinless" because my life came into being perfectly, under the care and direction of a Power greater than ourselves. The ramifications of this are CRITICAL to the way an alcoholic picks up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at their feet and uses them.

I was not born an alcoholic. I was not born a "liar, cheat, thief, mooch, and con-artist." I came into this life with a perfected soul and a morally perfect "blank slate". I may have become all of those things as a result of drinking uncontrollably and becoming alcoholic, but not at first.

The point I'm trying to make is that in order to get the most out my relationship with my sobriety, and my relatiionship with a Higher Power, and my relationship with today, I must begin to accept my "story" of life prior to, and up until that day when my sloppy little head poked out of mom's vagina. :shock:

(Gotcha there didn't I?)

I was born with a perfected soul and a perfect moral compass. That's how I was designed according to the Original Specifications. Alcoholism is a DISEASE.

I'M A GOOD PERSON...WITH A BAD DISEASE!!!

and so are you, Lyndylu.

If you are ever told that you are any kind of a negative "this, that, or the other", or that you are a "horrible mother", or that you're not capable of thinking on your own, or that you'll need a sponsor to make decisions for you for another 10 years - that's not what recovery is about.

Recovery is supposed to bring out the very best in you. Recovery brings out the goodness that was "wired in" to that blank slate of morality you were born with. Sobriety is supposed to make the connection from your perfected soul (which never became "un-perfected") to a God of your understanding. Deep beneath all of our barriers, insecurities, defenses, walls, traumatic pains, and heartbreak, there lies a concept of God. That is YOUR concept of God, and it's there, deep within you and me, just like the feelings we have for a friend. The book says that it is ONLY there, DEEP WITHIN each of us, that He may be found.

When you feel like this:
lindylu wrote:Impatience is a defect I suppose, I just feel I would like to get these steps under my belt soon.


If you call to mind (consciously) or remember "I'm a GOOD PERSON with a BAD DISEASE", it might help in growing to love yourself, and who you are growing to become: a "SOBER ALCOHOLIC".

This is a GREAT journey filled with goodness each day. This is a journey where I'm learning how to live abundantly, with all the blessings that come from a "loving God". It's a journey where I learn that not every single thought or idea I have comes from some "character defect" - it's really OK to ask questions and to have doubt, and above all, to seek what is True.

For me, it's a growing practice to focus on the POSITIVE aspects of recovery. Sometimes that's difficult when I go to certain meetings or talk to certain people. If I focus on the positive growth and progress I'm achieving, then it becomes easier and more fun to take unselfish CONSTRUCTIVE ACTION which helps another person and gives the world around me a snapshot of the Higher Power I found deep within me (remember "...so that victory over [character defects] may bear witness to those I would help...?).

I don't believe having doubts about "universal spiritual principles" or "belief systems" others have fashioned in recovery is necessarily a "character defect" or that I'm thinking "wrong". I recall that a certain Jewish Carpenter had doubts about his "Father in Heaven" and how he felt abandoned and forsaken. To doubt is human - but doubt is also fuel that builds faith.

Don't get me wrong, my own personal belief system was totally hosed-up when I walked into this fellowship. I built so many reactions on a set of false beliefs before I got sober. I for sure had to re-learn "right" from "wrong" and "true" from "false". But this journey of achieving sobriety teaches me to take an inventory - it lets me discard the "defective products", and it also lets me refine and improve the good things which come intuitively.

lindylu wrote:PS. is it wrong to feel pride? I saw an old friend today who thought I looked 'fantastic'. It was lovely to get a compliment, but I felt really happy about telling her why I looked well, '' its because Ive stopped drinking and Ive become a member of AA,''

I didnt feel ashamed of telling her., and for that I thank god I am in AA. :)


Many others here have said things I totally agree with. Someone else said, I'm learning to say "thank you" when complimented. I totally identify with that. I'm learning, too.

These kind of things are new to many of us. Like what ROBERT shared about the cop hugging him - WOW THAT WAS TOTAL DYNAMITE!!! These things rocket me off to that "forth dimension" of new life that I never knew existed.

Another way I look at working this program, and how to feel or react about compliments that come as a result is pretty simple. I'm not "fishing" for appreciation that I think is missing. I'm enjoying the byproducts of a life well-lived.

Some famous guy who had the same name as me once said "The laborer is worthy of his reward."

Wow! What a concept. Another byproduct of sobriety!

Lindylu...you are worthy.

God bless,
Paul
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Postby lindylu » Sat Aug 01, 2009 9:45 am

:) Thanks guys, as usual you are all generous in your replies, and I feel a hopeful for my future in sobriety.

Already its strange to be untangling my life in a sober and calmer mood. Stuff I would have ignored or been scared of two months ago seem manageable. And the great thing is being able to negotiate over the phone without smashing the phone down in a drunken rage !! When I didnt get what I wanted!!

Also I dont get that sick feeling when the mail comes, I just look at my letters etc, and my heads saying 'come on, hit me, how bad can it get,? if that sounds a bit cocky I dont care, with this new freedom I feel enpowered and even if I get scared over a bill to pay, I just pray for patience and pick the phone up and in a nice calm yorkshire voice I discuss the bill and negotiate a payment plan.

Boy do I sound over confident!!!!
Honest, one of the best parts for me is being able to laugh again, at myself and even over money probs.
My AA meeting s over the past month have been full of wit, humour, laughter and fellowship. Its lovely to have this internet group, its concentrated cross sharing is a brilliant contrast with meetings.

Thanks for the beautiful comments it makes for a positiveness I never dreamt of. xxxxxxxx :D

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Postby Dallas » Sat Aug 01, 2009 1:28 pm

Hi Lindylu!!! It sure is nice to hear from you! I relate and understand so much of what you write about that you are experiencing!

Thank you!

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Triggers

Postby robbiechaos » Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:54 am

Im so grateful I fell in with a "PRIMARY PURPOSE" crowd. Im so happy that my friends and the bb have shown me that the world (TRIGGERS) are not my problem, I am my problem. But luckily for me, with Gods grace, I can take some action(the 12 steps) to fix my problem. Im glad my friend Tony smacked me in the head with a big book when I came into my first beginners meeting and started crying about my triggers. He saved my life.
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Postby angel143 » Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:24 pm

Sounds like a good friend...maybe he shook some things loose when he smacked you with the BB...shook 'em loose and allowed you to put 'em back where they belong!

Proud of you Robbie!!!!

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Postby Jim W » Sun Aug 23, 2009 10:55 am

Triggers is a term that came into AA meetings from treatment center clients. It has no place in AA.
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Postby angel143 » Sun Aug 23, 2009 11:59 am

So if triggers dont have a place in AA...

Then what would call it when something happens that "triggers" a person to have that urge?

Triggers are a part of life. Our brain sends triggers all the time, to eat, sleep, breathe...every single involuntary thing that our body does, is a trigger...

Cravings is in the BB...its everywhere in the BB. So...what causes a sudden craving when someone has been sober for a month, a year...or so on? What is in the brain that gets "triggered" to send the craving message?

Trigger definition-to initiate or precipitate

Trigger is what initiates the craving...

The BB, pg 37 says "In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like."

If anger is a "trigger" for someone, meaning it initiates the craving for a drink, then they need to learn how to best get rid of and cope with that anger. But what happens if something comes up and there is that anger, and they get a craving....is that not a "trigger"?
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