- Why does he behave like this?

Why does he behave like this?




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Why does he behave like this?

Postby Dallas » Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:17 am

Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can't he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

Alcoholics Anonymous, There Is A Solution, Page 22
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Postby ccs » Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:01 pm

It was because I thought that I had the will power to do it different the next time !!
I thought I wont drink as much ,I know my limit now :lol: ,I can do this without getting drunk :shock: once I hit my limit thats it no more Oh well just one more or I`ll go home and have one more , oh yeah I am home already :oops: WELL now that I`m home one more cant hurt :roll:

WOW does that sound familiar!

sure am happy that I no longer think that way!!!! so glad that I found out there was/is a solution and that I was not alone !! that others found the solution and could show me how it worked and it still works

one day at a time but it dont work by itself it needs me to participate
thank GOD I was/am willing too

thanks Dallas I love these posts :wink:
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Postby Dallas » Tue Sep 29, 2009 3:37 am

Thank you, Cessie.

I understand. :wink:

Isn't it wonderful to experience the freedom from drinking and from behaving like that? I found a solution that works -- in AA.

Best regards,

Dallas B.
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Re: Why does he behave like this?

Postby GeoffS » Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:10 am

Dallas wrote:Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can't he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

Alcoholics Anonymous, There Is A Solution, Page 22


For me it was because I lacked sanity/wholeness of mind. I have a mental obsession that leads me to crave the sense of ease and comfort brought about by alcohol. Sobriety made me uncomfortable so I always ended up drinking.
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Postby Sara J W » Wed Sep 30, 2009 4:12 pm

I believe that I have not reached that point of 100% certainty that I cannot drink like a 'normal' person. Although I truly do want to believe and commit to the program. How can I do this without taking another drink??
I think for me I have not yet built up the foundations of a new lifestyle...I have not changed enough of my old routines. This I believe will help me and the fact that I feel I am getting closer to believing in a higher power of my own. I see now that no one should have to endure the trials in this life without the knowledge/faith that something is there, hand on your shoulder, guiding and protecting you. We simply should not have to feel that all the weight sits solely on our shoulders.
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Postby DiggerinVA » Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:30 pm

Sara J W wrote:I believe that I have not reached that point of 100% certainty that I cannot drink like a 'normal' person. Although I truly do want to believe and commit to the program. How can I do this without taking another drink??
I think for me I have not yet built up the foundations of a new lifestyle...I have not changed enough of my old routines. This I believe will help me and the fact that I feel I am getting closer to believing in a higher power of my own. I see now that no one should have to endure the trials in this life without the knowledge/faith that something is there, hand on your shoulder, guiding and protecting you. We simply should not have to feel that all the weight sits solely on our shoulders.


My suggestion would be to read the chapter More About Alcoholism or you could take one of the tests that are out there.

Here is one.
1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking?
2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy?
3. Do you drink because you are shy with other people?
4. Is drinking affecting your reputation?
5. Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?
6. Have you gotten into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?
7. Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?
8. Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?
9. Has your ambition decreased since drinking?
10. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?
11. Do you want a drink the next morning?
12. Does drinking cause you to have difficulty in sleeping?
13. Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?
14. Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?
15. Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?
16. Do you drink alone?
17. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?
18. Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?
19. Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?
20. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?


How many yeses vs nos?
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Postby DiggerinVA » Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:08 pm

Oh it would be nice to include the legend.














Are you an alcoholic?

If you answered YES to one of the questions, this is a warning that you may be an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to any two, there's a good chance that you are an alcoholic.

If you answered YES to three or more, you are definitely an alcoholic.

Source: The Twenty Questions: Are You An Alcoholic? was developed in the 1930s by Dr. Robert Seliger, Department of Psychiatry, Johns Hopkins Hospital, and intended as a self-assessment questionnaire to determine the extent of one's alcohol abuse.
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Postby GeoffS » Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:40 am

Sara J W wrote:I believe that I have not reached that point of 100% certainty that I cannot drink like a 'normal' person. Although I truly do want to believe and commit to the program. How can I do this without taking another drink??


Find a copy of the original manuscript of the BB.
It addresses this. Says something along the lines of - go out there take a drink, try to stop like a normal person, see if you can, see if you enjoy stopping- then think about it.
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Postby Dallas » Fri Oct 02, 2009 7:41 am

How can I do this without taking another drink??


Would you rather experiment -- and find out after tragedy that you were wrong about being able to drink? Or, would you like to continue the good life by staying sober?

We know that drinking will harm us. It's like going to a cliff and standing on the edge... like we've often done -- and then jumping off the cliff -- hoping that this time will be different, and that we really will grow wings on the way down!

Fact is: we're not going to grow the wings on the way down. So, why continue to fool ourselves about it? And, why do you need to jump?

If you were able to control and enjoy your drinking in the past -- and enjoy it while you controlled it -- how did you end up here?

Our heads, especially as alcoholics... continue to lie to us. This is where Silkworth, in the Dr.'s Opinion, referred to as reaching a place where we are unable to know between the true and the false.

When you hear a lie is it necessary to take action on it? When you hear a truth -- is it necessary to take an action on it? The answer is no.

I'd rather die sober and happy instead of trying to find out I could drink like a normal person -- and end up dead, drunk and miserable.

If I stay sober, and I'm wrong about it -- I haven't lost anything. If I drink and I was wrong about it -- the chances are great, that I will lose it all.

Why debate it? Just make a decision to stay sober -- regardless of what the truth about it is. What excuse would you have against staying sober?

What good excuse would you have for experimenting? Oh -- you might prove something to yourself. There comes a time in all of our lives -- that the wiser choice is to choose to be happy rather than choose to be right.

Make the decision that even if you could drink -- you don't want to -- that you want to stay sober instead.

Get in the practice of realizing that when you're head has you at the debating podium -- in regards to drinking being alright for you -- or not as bad as you thought it was -- that you're just listening to a lie. Why gamble your life on a lie, being told by someone that has lied to you for all of your life?

Dallas
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Why does he behave like this?

Postby daily reprieve » Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:55 am

"Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet." pg. 31. If your goal is to have 1 or 2 drinks over the course of a few HOURS or to feel nauseous, out of control or woozy and not like the feeling when you have had too much to drink, that is what you have to look forward to if you hope to one day drink like a normal drinker. "The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence." pg. xxviii. Especially if you are an abnormal drinker. "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." pg. 44. "To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face." pg 44. When life gets bad enough that you wish you could die but don't want to die, maybe then you will "want what we have..." Until then, the lies your mind tells you will get bigger and bigger until it will be impossible to "differentiate the true from the false." You can stop in time or nearly lose all. But we will still be here for you.
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