First, my introduction - I'm Steve, and I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict.
This thread caught my attention, because this is me. I first came to AA in 2000. I maintained seven years of sobriety, then went back out on a bender, short-lived, but a bender nonetheless.
I came back in again, and things were going quite well. Then about a week ago, I was going through some drawers, organizing things, etc., and I came across a bottle that had been hidden away in there - only a couple of shots left in it, but...
Did I do the logical thing, and pour it down the drain? No. I just left it there. And sure enough, this morning, I went back to it, grabbed it, and drank it.
I feel no compulsion to go out and continue drinking. If anyone were to ask me why I did this, I wouldn't be able to answer. But the fact is I drank.
I've been on the phone with people, talking to sponsors, etc. But for some reason, nothing seems to have as much meaning to me as it did even a few days ago when I talk to these people.
I just want to put the damned bottle down. But it seems as though I'm doomed to keep repeating myself... And I don't know what to do from here, beyond the obvious steps - go to meetings, talk to people, etc.