Hey Melinda, nice to hear from you today.
Keep in mind, that the BB quote above, happens after Step 9... and it's part of Step 10. So, depending on if you have taken Step 1 or 2, you still have something like 8 or 9 Steps to go, to get to that place of not having to fight it. That's why some of us urge those that are willing -- to take the Steps soon -- so that the obsession to drink, and the thinking about drinking will not progress into the over-powering compulsion to drink -- before relief comes from the Steps.
When I was in your phase of sobriety, it was tough, but... I got through it. And, you can get through it, also... if you'll make some changes.
1. I knew that I was on shaky ground -- so, when I was new like you, I avoided getting myself into places and situations that I knew were trouble for me. I physically stayed away from alcohol and from anyone drinking it.
2. I went to a lot of meetings and hung out most of the days and nights with sober AA's that I'd meet in the meetings. I would share in the meetings that I was having a rough time and was afraid I was going to drink. And, I ask for help. I let sober people know that I'd just love it if they'd let me hang out with them -- where I'd be less likely to get into situations where I'd end up drinking. Sometimes, I met with them in coffee shops before the meeting, then during the meeting, and then more coffee shops with them after and in-between meetings.
3. If there is an AA club house near you -- you can always volunteer there to clean up or help to be of service between meetings. That will keep you in a safe and sober place. But, also keep in mind... you'll probably be around other newcomers that may not be as determined to stay sober as much as you are determined. Either way, you can find another new girl and hang out with her and try to help her stay sober today. And, she can help you. And, that's kind of how it works. We end up saving our ass while trying to help another alcoholic save their ass.
4. Don't be shy about asking the old-timers if you can hang out with them, also. They will be your best bet. They know and understand what it's like for you -- because they were as new as you are, when they started out in sobriety. And, most, I'll bet, would love to share their time with you and share some of the things that helped them. Keep them busy helping you -- and you'll be helping them!
5. Another little secret that I stumbled on to that helped me tremendously, and I've used it with a huge bunch of other alkies, and it helped them, too was: "Instead of thinking about not drinking" and "Instead of trying to figure out how not to have the next first drink"... I did a total 180 with my thinking on drinking.
Instead of trying not to drink -- I started focusing on "How do I stay sober?" "What do I have to do right now... to stay sober?"
You see, the mind doesn't hear the "NOT drink" in "not drink"... the "not" is a negative. The mind has no power and no direction in "how not to do something"... The mind automatically thinks in terms of "how to do something"... so, when we're telling our head to "not drink" what our head is only hearing is the "drink." And, it becomes like a self-suggestion to drink... by trying to not drink.
Reverse it. Turn it around. Instead of focusing on "not drink" focus on "stay sober."
It might sound dumb... but, it works. It's the law of attraction in action. God gave us brains "to use" (meaning to use for our highest good in life) -- not brains to "not use." This is why "will power" doesn't work for an alcoholic to "not drink." "Will power" (determined and focused thinking)... is for the purpose of "to do something" and not for the purpose of "to NOT do something." Our will power fails to keep us from drinking -- because will power was not intended for "not drinking." Yet, it takes all of our Will Power... "to do"... the things... "take the actions" to stay sober. It takes will power to get off our butts and get to a meeting. It takes will power -- to follow direction and take suggestions.
Just try this: Start asking yourself the question: "Ok! What do I need to do to stay sober?"
Then, if you'll be busy doing the things to stay sober... you'll stay sober and not be thinking about not drinking.
It's those little tiny things that add up and become the collective big things that ends up helping us and working for us -- or... working against us.
So, rather than try to do the "big things" we focus on the "little things." Example: Go to a food store instead of a liguor store.
Hang with someone sober... instead of hanging with someone drinking.
Be with a sober person instead of being alone.
Those little things will help you until you get through the Steps and have the obsession to drink removed from you. That's one of the things that the Steps are for... "to remove the mental obsession to drink."
Best wishes for you,
Dallas
and maybe even drunk to boot.