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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

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Postby Bobby D » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:50 am

New to this... 48 year old Been drinking hard for what seems like forever..( over 30 years ) last 2 years Way over the top.. upwards of 1.5 pint of Bourbon a day.. I know this sounds like a Cliche.. but my life really hasn't been out of controll.. very successfulin business.. homelife is OK.. although the blackouts are a bit scarey... but I hide it pretty good......

Recent physical showed liver enzymes 2.5 times normal.. so I got worried and decided to "slow down" ..well that didn't work.. Now I decided to stop.. 1st day not too bad.. 2nd day very scarey dreams that seemed to stay there even after I woke up...It's been 4 days...the dreams border on hallucinations.. I am tense all the time... dont sleep well..

I have never been to an AA meeting and frankly I'm a bit embarrased... I have a very high profile possition in a smallish town...what if someone recognizes me ...ect..

My question is when do these withdrawals go away, and I start feeling at least semi normal...
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You need to be very careful...

Postby angeleyes13 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:50 pm

Hi, I am also new to this... I am 29 years old and have been drinking since I was about 14... My father, uncle, and brother are also alcoholics... I never really saw myself as one either, because like you I have been very successful in life... I was the first of my family to graduate college... I have come to the realization that I am powerless over alcohol... I was reading about your situation and I looked up this website (sorry... we don't allow linking to outside websites) You should check it out very soon... It says that in some cases the withdrawl effects can be life threatening...
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Postby DiggerinVA » Sun Jan 17, 2010 4:17 pm

Well if somebody there recognizes you. I say so what. Nothing to be embarrassed about, it is truly amazing who all belongs.

The more embarrassing thing is to be buried by the disease(the medical community even says stuff like liver failure instead of why it failed.

I have a friend who got a similar diagnoses almost two years ago, well he is getting worse instead of better. All because he is hard headed.

It is a fatal and progressive disease. Fortunately many in the fellowship have not had to live the "yets" because of the program.

If you want some information read the Big Book which is on this site or go to aa.org and read the Big Book there
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I too am a little nervous about going to a meeting...

Postby angeleyes13 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:16 pm

I am a substitute teacher... Like Bobby D, I live in a very small town... I am going to be applying for teaching jobs this Spring and if it got out that I had a problem with alcohol I could lose all the hard work I've struggled for...
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Postby knny913 » Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:56 pm

Hi angeleyes & bobby d,
Welcome to the site. My question to angeleyes is, what will happen if you don't get help or start to do something about your disease, and while on a drunk or worse yet a blackout you do something really bad or stupid? Then the word that gets out will be more devistating, and possibly be more life changing than you can imagine.
I live in a very remote part of Colorado, and own 2 businesses, the main one is in a small town, so I can relate to both of you very well. I think that once you get involved with the program, you both will be pleasantly suprised as to whom and of what occupations attend our rooms. My rooms have Drs., lawyers, dentists, ministers, teachers, other business owners, what have you. Alcohol is not predjudice! It does not care who it sinks it's teeth into. Besides, especially in small towns, as much as we think we are hiding our drinking, most everyone we are trying to fool already knows we have a problem, they just don't know how to approach us. But they know how to talk about us. So again you might be surprised about who is really hiding what.
I drank for over 39 years, the last 8 or so very heavily, almost 24/7, I did have to dry out from time to time, because I ran out of money, people to buy my booze for me (because I was too drunk to get to the liquor store), or I promised my wife I would quit for US, or I just got too sick to drink anymore. I thought I was hiding it really well, until one time a couple of years before I quit, I had a customer call me for an order. It was after I moved my business out of Denver, almost all my customers stayed with me, they would just phone or send their orders to me, this was before the internet and emails really caught on, anyway, here I am 180 miles from Denver my customer call me in an order one day around 9:30 in the morning. We knew each other pretty well business wise, and we would "shoot the breeze" when he called, during this conversation he surprised me by asking "are you drunk?" I of course replied "NO!", I wasn't in my mind of course, I'd only had about a pint of vodka by then. So for several weeks after that Joe would start calling me earlier and earlier, finally when he called me at 6:30 one morning I asked him "Joe why are you calling me so early, you know I don't start work until 8" to which he replied "I wanted to see what time I could call you to talk to you when you were sober." So that got me thinking, I've got to try to maintain better. You'll notice I didn't think about my drinking problem, just how to cover it up better, Just like an alcoholic huh!?! :oops: That was only the beginning. When I finally got to AA, the first meeting I went to, I had another business owner come up to me and say "we were wondering how long it was going to get here. Or if you would make it at all." My Dr., whom I had to start seeing more regular than I wanted to, had been suggesting for about a year before that I should try AA. I never even told her about my drinking, we never tell the truth thats why Drs don't like drunks, so I was wondering what she was getting at. So when I finally reached my bottom, she prescribed some medication (I still don't know what it was), to keep me from going through convulsions long enough to get me to a hospital, 40 miles away, should my DT's get too bad.
The point being that even though we think :shock: we are covering up our drinking, it is more noticeable than we think. And yes it can be life threatening, it is the only drug I know that can kill us if we stop abruptly.
If you think you have a drinking problem, don't let your ego get in your way. Take care of it, you'll be happy to find out that most people will be more supporting than critical. Trust me it will sure be a major weight off your shoulders to come clean, and you'll be surprised as to all the people that will tell you they knew about it long before you did.
Good luck,
Please keep coming back, I'd love to follow your flight into this new way of living for you. It does get better!
Your friend
Kenny
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jan 18, 2010 12:47 am

but my life really hasn't been out of controll..


Would your liver agree with you??? :lol:

Look Ma! I'm killing myself with my drinking... but, I'm successful! My liver doesn't think so... but I'm really in control! :lol:

I understand.

I got so successful and famous -- that I didn't care who knew I had a problem -- as long as it wasn't me that knew it. :wink:

How to know if your alcoholic? A simple test.

Question: "Are you dying from your drinking but your head is telling you that it's okay... Just a bump in the road. No problem! you're in control!" ???

Alcoholism is the only condition -- that tells the Self -- that you don't have it! :lol:

Normal drinkers never think about it... and if you ask them, they'll most often say, either a. I never thought about it, or b. I guess anything is possible! :lol:

I understand! Believe me! I identify with you!

By the time I finally got to AA -- I was pretty much a mess. However, me, my family and closest friends would have gone to any lengths to convince anyone -- that I didn't have an alcohol problem... I simply was so successful... that I was always under a lot of pressure... and I was just unwinding a bit! :lol:

Of course... I knew that I could quit drinking any time I wanted to, especially if it ever did become a problem! :lol:

I just never wanted to quit. And, whenever I did want to quit... I'd change my mind about wanting to quit! :lol:

I can remember sitting in an AA meeting... shaking a little bit.... and the thought crossed my head "OMG!!! What if people find out that I'm in AA? Or, they find out I quit drinking! For sure... they'll think I have a problem!" :lol: :lol:

At least, if I do a lot of drinking... nobody will suspect I have a problem! :lol:

Anonymity??? I understand.... I was afraid the TV news would show up outside the AA meeting with Headline News Alert! "Dallas B. was seen coming out of an AA meeting tonight!" :lol: :lol:

Of course... I wonder which would have looked worse... if the news had me covered for staying sober... or, if they had me covered for going on to an Exit ramp of a freeway... (the wrong way) while drinking... and hitting a car with an entire family in it and killing them all? Or... If I was just out for a little afternoon drive... and a little kid rode out in front of me on a bicycle... and I was a little too intoxicated at the time... to hit the brakes before I hit the kid and killed him? :shock:

Alcohol tells the alcoholic things... that are on the same level as plain and simple insanity... thus, that's why "sanity" is mentioned in the second of the 12 Steps.

Who me? I'm not nuts! Normal people drink like me! It's the crazy people that stop drinking! :lol: :lol:

Welcome to the site! You're doing a lot of good at helping me! And, I really do mean that!

You see... without you, I would forget what it was like for me, when I first got sober! And, when I forget what it was like for me when I first got sober... that's the day I'll end up drunk again!

I can forget all about my drinking and the pain that it caused me as well as the good times that it gave me... and that's not such a big deal.

Every alcoholic had good times and bad times when drinking... it was the first "getting sober and staying sober"... that was painful and not easy! That's why I never stayed sober very long! It was too uncomfortable! Too painful! Puking on someones carpet while drunk is no big deal... that's normal! It's after you sober up that it gets painful to think that you puked in front of someone... especially on their carpet! :lol:

I hope you keep coming back. Regardless, if you're ready to stop for good or not, try to get all the education that you can about alcoholism.

If you're still able to "be in control"... try having just ONE drink. That's it. Just one and no more. If you can do that EVERY time you drink... you're probably in control. But, if you have two... instead of one... you didn't control it every well.

Also, another way to tell? Find out if you enjoy having just one... and no more than one! If you enjoy it and can continue to have just one... and no more than one... you probably don't have a problem and you're in control! :wink:

Another way to tell? Just stop drinking cold turkey. Don't even have one drink. Do that every day for a year. That may not tell you if you're alcoholic or not... but, it will tell you how far the condition has progressed... if you are alcoholic.

Another way to tell??? Just stop drinking cold turkey. Don't even have a sip. Do you feel uncomfortable... without a drink?

Best wishes to you! I appreciate you!

Dallas
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Thank you...

Postby angeleyes13 » Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:32 am

Kenny & Dallas,
Thank you for sharing your stories <3 It has taken me way too long to finally admit that I am an alcoholic. Last night was the last straw. I grew up with a father that was adicted to cocaine. I experienced many things at such a young age... I was the oldest child and my mother did not have many friends so she shared with me alot of adult worries... When life gets hard and I feel "stressed" I turn to alcohol. It is "my time" to escape. The only problem is I am not escaping anything. I have created my own prison.

Last night I watched my six year old son crying, because my husband was trying to "calm" me down after he had poured out my liquor... He watched me drink a half bottle and was worried... I can't get the image of my innocent little boy out of my head... I feel awful. Like I have failed him... I don't want this life for him... I don't want him to have a drunk for a mother. I want so much better for him and for me! I have to put an end to this cycle! I have to do it now! I just wanted to thank you for responding and showing me that I am not alone...

God Bless You
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jan 18, 2010 2:07 am

Angeleyes, I totally understand! I had a six year old and a four year old -- that were the Higher Power -- that got my attention! I became willing to do anything and to go to any lengths -- so that they would never see me drinking again.

I got on my knees and prayed, and hoped, that the God or Higher Power or whatever it was that was helping those drunks in AA to stay sober, would help me! I let God know that if He would help me -- I would go to any lengths to stay sober!!!

I didn't know if God would help me or not. At the time, my brain was too foggy to know if there was a God.

I went to AA and tried to find people that were staying sober and I asked them if they would let me hang out with them so I could learn whatever it was that they were doing to stay sober and then I could try to do it, too.

It had been a long time since I had been able to stay totally sober without a drink for a day, let alone for a few hours. Then, one day, I was about 30 days sober, and I became aware that I was staying sober! That caused me to come to believe that there really must be Something... that was helping me. And, Something, that cared for me -- even though I didn't deserve to be "cared for or helped."

Today, I'm totally convinced that there really is a God that loves us and cares about us and knows us and wants to help us. All we have to do are some simple things... and if we'll do those things... we never ever have to take another drink forever!

I may not be sober tomorrow -- but, I'm sober today. And, I've been sober every day since November 14th, 1986.

The reason I say that I might not be sober tomorrow... is because I've seen better men and women than me, sober alcoholics, that were doing those simple little things -- and they stopped doing them, and they returned to drinking.

I have no Power on my own to keep me from my next first drink. But, I do believe, that if I'll continue to do those little simple things that are keeping me sober, then the same God that has been helping me all along -- will be there to help me tomorrow, too!

So, I "never have to drink again"... but, I could. And, this is why people like you are so important for my sobriety. When you continue to show up and to keep coming back -- and I'm able to think about you, and your sobriety, and to wonder if there is anything I can do to help you -- God, ends up helping me. And, this seems to be how it works for me.

Keep coming back! We need you -- just as much as you could ever need us!

Dallas
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thnaks

Postby Bobby D » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:07 am

Keny, Angel, Dallas

first I'm very glad I found this sight....AND Thank you so much for the heartfelt replies...

Dallas,

I originally stopped drinking to prepare for my next blood work so my enzymes would be in order... ( how stupid is that ) Had some very unpleasant results so I read up and thought I could ween off to reduce withdrawals... So I tried the several drinks and stop Aproach...Wow that was an eye opener.. lasted about 10 minutes after three doubles... and I actually sent my 23 year old son to the store to get me a bottle of Beam... he complained about it but I yelled at him ...

I know I'm an alchoholic.. ( In retrospect I've known for a long time )Seems I could NOt drink.. just cant drink moderate...BUT the thought of never dininking again ( which is what I want to do ) seems so impossible...

I'm on my 5th day and the dreams, still there, weren't so bad last night..got about 6 hrs sleep... still edgy.. ... but I feel a bit ok this AM..I have no shakes or anything so hopefully I avoided that aspect, I read that the DT's and other withdrawals are much worse if you stopped multiple times.. this is my first time so ...fingers crossed maybe I'm over the worst ( physically anyway )

Kenny,

I really relate to your comments about clients calling and your drunk.... I am an escalation point in my company for when things go wrong...they'd call me @ 10:00 PM and I dont even rememebr the conversation the next day.. Being the boss No one ever calls me out on it...I finally took myself off the escalation list.. after all I'm too important to get calls in the middle of the night....Funny I never really though about it until now.. but your right everyone must already know.........

I've heard about AA , the 12 steps and the Big book ... Not sure it rings true just yet..I do beleive in a higher power though so thats something I can hang on to ....Anyway I'm planning going to an AA meeting Tomorrow night.. 30 miles away ... I even told my wife I have to work late....

Angeleyes..

I am certainly in no possition to give any advice on this subject, I'm a mess myself..... BUT your son is young and resiliant right now, seems your husband cares too.... dont let him see the progressivenes of your drinking.. or let your husband get fed up...
My sons are now 26, 23, and 20... I criinge when I think of how they've seen me.. passed out on the kitchen floor, having to help me to the couch..... or worse the example I set when I drove home completely inebreated...

Thanks and God Bless

Bob
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Postby MichalF » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:40 am

Hello Angel and Bob

My name is Michal I am an alcoholic.

Bob you mentioned You are going to first meeting tonight. May it would be conveniet for you if anybody give a lift? I remember my first days, all withdrawal symptoms - shake, anxiety, insomnia and worse. I know that stuff might not to relate to you, but I also remember that after my first meeting I was so emotional( I am not sure if I am using proper word in English)aroused, agitated that I couldnt calm down in few hours.
I am sure your wife or sons will be happy to help you.

As Angel I grew up with father who was an alcoholic. I whole my life I have hold father in contempt and bear grudge against my mother- Why didnt she divorce? He stopped drinking when he got cancer illness. Passed away nd I missed to reconcile with him.
So maybe one of the resasons that I am an alcoholic is to understand my dad and love him again?
One I do know! I would have been the happiest man on the earth If my dad had asked me for taking ride to the AA meeting.

God bless you all.

Mike
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