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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

miracles

Postby Bobby D » Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:33 am

Only been 17 days....BUT.. My wife says same thing.. nice to have you up and talking in the evnening... We even went to a movie Friday.... something I would never have agreed to..I'd be "unwinding" in my Lazy boy with my Scotch...and out cold by 8:00...

I have only been to one meeting a week or so back..... keep planning on getting started with that but .. well I'm sure you know.. excuses are easy..

Physically I feel pretty good right now.. eating better... sleeping ok.. waking up with a clear head is a great thing....AND I'm really not craving a drink at all.

Somewhere deep down in my mind theres a voice saying.."see you weren't that bad" .. you kicked this without issue...you can be "normal"..It's almost like the alchoholic me is a different person....Thats why it's so important to hear from you guys with the experience..

The worst that is happening for me right now is spontaneously remembering something I did that is so embarrasisng and humiliating I feel it deep in my belly and I just wish I could go back and change it... unfortunately there are an awfull lot of those... I know yesterday is gone tomorrow not here yet... but the emotion just kicks my A$$ andmaybe thats a good thing it keeps me grounded..

I have a higher power ..I really do.. and I really believe thats why I've been able to stay sober right now.. God is carrying me ( because looking back I see only one set of footprints in the sand ) .

When I hear about some one with long term sobriety going back.. it scares me because I have such a long road ahead... BUT ..I"M SOBER TODAY !!! and thats all I can control right now

God bless

Bob
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Postby gunner48 » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:48 pm

Three drunks were sitting outside on a park bench across from a funeral home when one looked over at Rufus and noticed he wasn't breathing. The other two decided they should go across the street and tell the people at the funeral home that their friend had died. The people came and got Rufus and took him away. A couple of days later the two drunks decided they would go visit Rufus. Upon entering the Funeral home they noticed that Rufus was dressed up, hair combed, clean shaven and a slight grin on his face. One drunk turned to the other and made mention of how good Rufus looked. The other said " YOU WOULD LOOK AND SMELL GOOD TO IF IT HAD BEEN 3 DAYS SINCE YOU HAD A DRINK".

I have made mention several times of how untreated alcoholism nearly killed me. Yes I felt better at first but as time went on things got really out of hand for me. The absolute worst feelings I have ever had. I had to make a decision to either work the program of AA or continue to the bitter end as I was heading. Best Decision I have ever made in my life was to allow AA to work in my life. Of course that meant working the program as outlined in the Big Book. Simple. Yes people do go out after years of soberity. One thing I have found that they have all had in common is they thought they could stay sober on their own. They quit being part of a common solution and seperated themself from the ones that could help during their problems.

Today I am excited about my soberity as I was 20 years ago. I can choose between being alone or being part of. If you can stay sober, live a useful life and be happy without AA my hat is off to you. I COULD NOT>


Peace and Love Gunner
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I will not give up!

Postby angeleyes13 » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:33 am

Although it was bound to happen, I will not give up! I mean come on I have yet to go to a meeting... I have no sponser, what was I expecting to happen, right? Well, I am not going to let this slip ruin my desire to kick this! I am strong and I can do this! I just need to get my but to a meeting... Find a sponser and start working the book... I keep telling myself I can do this "I'm in control."

I just don't want to be in control... I wish someone would just point a gun to my head and say, "You either go to a meeting, and get some help or I'll take everything from you!" I don't know why I keep dragging my feet... I really need the help.... I really want this... I guess I am just so used to being the caretaker. I don't know what it feels like to be the one asking for the help... Or maybe it is my pride (What can they do for me that I cannot do myself?) Wow, that is some major insight... It is my pride... Now, I need to humble myself, and except the fact that I cannot do this myself... I need help!
angeleyes13
 
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Hang in there...

Postby Bobby D » Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:45 am

I am so glad your back !!! hang in there.... The fundamental fact is you are not in control... that's why you have to throw your arms up and make the decision to let god take over....

I went to another meeting yesterday,,, Good stuff... people sharing stories.. some like mine others not...BUT..it was the after the meeting in the parking lot that got to me.. some of these people really care... Imagine a stranger giving you thier number abd saying.."call me any time you need to talk"....



god Bless

Bob
Bobby D
 
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Location: Delaware

Postby MichalF » Tue Feb 02, 2010 11:10 am

Angel,
Don,t worry! Always quiet follows storm :)
What can they do for me that I cannot do myself

Believe me They can give you the oceans of experience,strenght and hope!
You can take as much as you can.
Don,t hesitate just GO!
You are in my prayer.
Mike
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Postby tim-one » Thu Feb 04, 2010 6:40 am

Bobby & Angeleyes,

Getting here late. Great to see y'all here and paying attention. Nice move.

I was chagrinned to find out I was the last person to think I'm an alcoholic. When I told people I'm an alcoholic, my boss, my friends, the girl at the convenience store all said, "Ya THINK?" :oops: I felt like they'd all been hiding it from me. :roll:

Actually, the girl at the convenience store said, "No wine today?" "No, thanks. I quit drinkin'." "OOooohhhh ... THAT's why we haven't had to order that stuff in a month." :shock: (I had just gotten out of a month in rehab.) :oops: I said, "Well YOU talked me into it stopping!" "What did I have to do with it?" "One time you said, 'You sure buy a lot of that'." She said, "Hmmm ... then you sure buy a lot of cigarettes, too." "Ok ... you can stop saving my life now."

Bobby wrote:

I went to another meeting yesterday,,, Good stuff... people sharing stories.. some like mine others not...BUT..it was the after the meeting in the parking lot that got to me.. some of these people really care... Imagine a stranger giving you thier number abd saying.."call me any time you need to talk"....


Look at you ! ... starting to sound like an AAer already, sharing hope with another newcomer. You're getting it brother. You've noticed who cares and where you can get helped. Keep that up and you'll be caring about other people, too. WE stay sober together.

Angeleyes ... Don't quit quitting. You're doing yourself a huge favor coming here and sharing your experience. We all need to hear your progress and are more interested in your success than you can imagine. Thank you.

Now go to a flesh-and-blood meeting! We're sitting in those chairs. Meet us.

I had to go back for some more convincing, too ... more drinking to remind me why I wanted to stop. Please don't take as long as I did. I went to AA meetings 6 years ago knowing I'm an alcoholic trying to get that spark that would make me work on it. I finally went in 1 year ago. I'm sober one year now through these wonderful AA people.

Guns didn't do it for me. I had a whole arsenal pointed at me for a long time. My life was like wandering around with a poop scooper on an artillery range. I had plenty of guns at my head until the gun was in my own hand. My gun was real.

I suggest turning off your brain long enough to go to a meeting, raise your hand, and say, "I can't stop drinking and I need to talk to somebody... NOW." It's that simple and the most important thing you can do for yourself. Just a moment of courage and you will be the most important person in the room that day.

You wrote:
Wow, that is some major insight... It is my pride... Now, I need to humble myself, and except the fact that I cannot do this myself... I need help!


There ya go! Yes, maam ... MAJOR insight. If you won't listen to anyone else (any other alcoholics here do that? 8) ), listen to yourself. That's your "moment of clarity". Now just act on it before you talk yourself out of it again.

I'm a frign miracle-boy! I'm not only glad to be alive today, I'm downright tickled to be LIVING.

Keep coming back. We're on your side. Nobody holding you back but you. :wink:

Love,
Tim1
tim-one
 
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Location: Houston, TX

meeting protocal

Postby Bobby D » Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:51 am

Thanks Tim !! Funny how you think of yourself as me against the world .. " no one really has gone through what I do " and stuff like that..

I had to smile when I read the convenience store clerk conversationn.... The guy at liquer store I used to stop at EVERY DAY...once asked me... I got a special deal on these double shots of Jim Beam...Before I order do you think it's something you'd buy.... WOW never thought of that as a problem then.. but DAMN !!!!

Been to 5 meetings this week.. and I'm so glad I got past that initial hesitation... This mornings meeting was a little starnge for me though.. There were 2 "kids" couldn't be more than 25... you could tell from the beginning they were there because court ordered due to a DUI..or something of that nature,,,, To me it was extremely offensive as they they were condesending and smug.. Here I am fighting for my life because I want to stay sober , and these guys were mocking me/us... in the past that would have meant a fight... I would certainly would have called them out on it...BUT..

I know at this stage of my sobriety I am in no possition to judge.. that I need to stay humble.. ( not really my nature ) I left half way throuogh the meeting just so I'd keep my mouth shut.... Now I'm wishing I would have spoken up...This meeting is the perfect time for me ...Daily @ 7:00AM... If these guys are there tomorrow... I'm probably going to say something... Is that a bad idea ?
Bobby D
 
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Location: Delaware

Postby knny913 » Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:35 am

Hi again Bobby D,
You will encounter lots of "nay sayers" as you trudge this road. These are the ones we pray about before each meeting, you know " the still suffering". My program is a one of tolerence, and understanding. There is a prayer for anger in the Big Book.
Please don't let other people mess up your program. And most of all, don't let them have what they came for, to be disruptive and mess up your meeting, that means they win in their minds. I believe that my Higher Power puts me through tests all day, every day, so I have to be on guard and understand that little things like that are just opportunities for me to grow.
Hang in there,
Your Friend
Kenny
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Postby tim-one » Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:02 am

Great answer, Knny.

We pray for them. Remember part of the Lord's Prayer. "...forgive us AS WE FORGIVE ...". Me first.

Bobby, look how much you're picking up already. Humility, you say? Dude ... that's the most important AA attitude. At least it is to me. That's what starts it and that's what keeps it going. Good thinkin', brother.

Personally it bugs me, too, that the courts often use AA as punishment. Actually, I kinda think they use it to convince people they need help and they know that AA works if they get it. But I came to AA because I needed to, wanted to ... I DESIRED to stop drinking. But it usually is a joke to the CRIMINALS like comedy defensive driving is to speeders.

But that opinion is one that I work my program to cut out of me. Being resentful will NOT keep me sober!

It didn't take long to find out that I was there to change MY thinkng, not to make the world fit my thinking. I had to find out what it was about ME that those people bug and change my mind about it ... I should be as unbuggable as possible.

Funny how it works out. If I treat them with the same care as I would a sick friend, it's ME that gets healed. And it's all about ME, right? 8)

Maybe, just maybe, one of them will suddenly pay attention and have a moment of clarity that will change his view of AA. "Must be present to win." That's what the courts hope. I hope it for each of those guys.

If I were you (and I was you), I'd keep my mouth shut and let the elders there apply the "group conscience" to the situation. Your job right now is to watch and learn. They will do what has kept them sober and you can stay sober with them.

Talk to your sponsor about it. That's what he's for. Don't have a sponsor? This is a perfect reason to get one IMMEDIATELY.

Now back to fun. I had another store experience later the same day as the previous.

This store had a little promotional on their counter selling a new booze - "Alkietraz Apple". :lol: Gotta love that name ! Again, I'm a few days out of rehab and I really appreciated the humor of it. I just got out of ALKIETRAZ. :P

The guy asked me if I'd like to try it. I said, "Oh, no thanks. I've had enough." (and that's no lie)

Trying to convince me, he didn't say how good it tastes. He brightenned his face and lilted, "12 percent !" :roll: In Texas, stores can sell beer and wine up to 12% alcohol. He just wanted me to know it was max'd out. :lol:

I left laughing my fanny off with my HP. "GOD ALMIGHTY ! THEY'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME ! How'd I do? You're watching, right?"

God said, "Alkietraz Apple? That's a riot ! Not drinkin' it, are ya? Ya did good, boy." :wink:

Love,
Tim1
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thanks

Postby Bobby D » Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:08 am

Thanks guys.... I never thought I'd get this far... and I'm real happy about it... I am hitting meetings every day and that helps...This forum also helps and I'm gratefull for the good advice....I know I'm probably wrong.. but I'm not ready for a sponser yet...Still feeling my way through this...

I feel pretty strong right now.. and when I do feel a little shakey I pray and god helps me over it... I've always been rather religious so that makes it easy to trust in a HP for me....
Bobby D
 
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