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Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Postby MichalF » Sat Feb 06, 2010 5:39 am

Hi guys,
Kenny thank you for your answer. You remind me of my responsibility to myself to be understanding because resentments and anger are “luxuryâ€
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working at it...

Postby Bobby D » Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:22 pm

Thanks for the insight guys.. never thought about it in those terms....I can imagine how direspectful and cynical I've come accross all these years...i guess I am rethinking the importance of a sponser this early in my recovery.. It's just such a private matter for me that it's hard

Thanks Again !!!
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Postby Dallas » Sat Feb 06, 2010 3:26 pm

It's great to hear from you Bobby! I appreciate reading the messages that you post and it's great to watch and hear from you. Your messages bring back many very sensitive moment memories of my own personal adventures on my journey of life, sobriety and AA! Thank you.

Dallas
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Doing Great!

Postby angeleyes13 » Sun Feb 07, 2010 2:59 pm

I am sooo proud of you Bobby... Your really doing great :) I like to read about how well your doing! It gives me lots of hope =) Still haven't made it to a meeting... But, doing much better <3

Angeleyes
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doing great

Postby Bobby D » Mon Feb 08, 2010 6:58 pm

Angeleyes,

THANKS ! Glad your having better days....You were the first one to reply to my initial post here, recomending I look into the dangers of the physical withdrawals .. which I did...and the knowledge I got from researching that aspect got me over the first few really bad days...

I gotta tell you the meetings do help... . starting out you feel like your the only one with your unique circumstances.. and some of them are that unique...But alot of the people in there have the same history as I do. and listening to them makes me feel less.... !@%!$^% up....

I still dont have a sponsor.. which I guess is my next step.. After this mornings meeting one of the younger guys 30 ish pulled me aside asked me if I had a sponsor and then we spent 15 minutes talking about the benefits of a sponsor... I realize that even though I'm going to the meetings I've still been tryingto do this on my own in alot of ways...AA isn't just a place to dry out...you gotta do the steps.

I'm also glad that in some way I'm helping you.. I dont really "get it" but somehow that realization keeps me more focused and committed...trust me after the first meeting you start to look forward to them... I was lucky to find one that meets every day @ 07:00 so I go before work, a great way to start the day and keep it one day at a time.

Until then and after then keep coming back to this site......It helps me.. and I think some of the other guys here too

God bless

Bob
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Postby Dallas » Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:00 am

Bobby, thanks for checking in! I appreciate you and it's so good to hear of the progress you're making!

Angeleyes, thank you for checking in, too!! Yes, I appreciate you, too, and it is so good to watch you progress as well!

And, to both of you: I'll bet you have no idea -- of how much your coming back and sharing -- is helping so many of us! :wink:

Now, I'm not a religious guy... so don't let me run you off with my next thought! :lol: I read something once in the Good Book, The Big Big Book, that went something like this: "Wherever two or more of you are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of you."

I know that if there was no God -- there would be no possible way for me to be sober! That's a fact for me! I believe that God is at work in each of us, regardless if we believe it or not. He cares about us. He loves us. And, that's why He brought us together -- for sobriety. So, whenever two or more of us are gathered together... for the purpose of Sobriety... God is in the midst of us.

When you come and visit the site here, and you bring your self, God comes with you... and it's His way of helping me -- through you.

So, thank you, for all that you do for me, and for the site, and for the many others that come here searching for answers and searching for a solution. Truly, the Light that is within you -- shines on the rest of us, and it gives us Spiritual warmth, nurturing, and help.

Best wishes to you!

Dallas
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Doesn't feel like progress...

Postby angeleyes13 » Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:44 pm

Dallas,
I really don't feel like I have made any progress... I mean I admit that I am powerless over alcohol, but then what? Yeah, I know go to a meeting... I get it... But, how and when do the thoughts of alcohol go away? I mean do they last forever? I don't know that I am strong enough for that! It almost feels like I'm on a diet... You women would know what I'm talking about... When your dieting, your so aware of food... I mean in a way that you never thought you were before... Well, for me that is how it is with alcohol... I think about it all the time! It sucks... I mean how are the meetings going to save me from my thoughts?

Angeleyes
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Re: Doesn't feel like progress...

Postby DiggerinVA » Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:01 am

angeleyes13 wrote:Dallas,
I really don't feel like I have made any progress... I mean I admit that I am powerless over alcohol, but then what? Yeah, I know go to a meeting... I get it... But, how and when do the thoughts of alcohol go away? I mean do they last forever? I don't know that I am strong enough for that! It almost feels like I'm on a diet... You women would know what I'm talking about... When your dieting, your so aware of food... I mean in a way that you never thought you were before... Well, for me that is how it is with alcohol... I think about it all the time! It sucks... I mean how are the meetings going to save me from my thoughts?

Angeleyes


Actually the answer is in the instructions for the steps. Page 84-85 should answer it for you as to when you lose the thoughts of alcohol. If you just work the steps you will get there. No the strength does not come from you. I understand the diet, yes they are very similar.
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Thanks

Postby angeleyes13 » Wed Feb 10, 2010 8:22 am

I don't have a Big Book yet... My dad gave me an NA book tho.... I mean how different are the two? I was also thinking about going to an NA meeting... My friend, she is also an alcoholic, started going to the NA meetings because she knew a lot more people there... Can I go to NA meetings?
I know they use different terms.... Like staying clean instead of staying sober... Stuff like that, but they can't be that different can they? My dad is willing to go with me... He needs to be in NA for his addictions...

Looking for some guidance... Also what are closed meetings? Most of the AA meetings this week are closed... Does that mean I can't go?
Ugh.... Grrrr.... I wish finding a damn meeting wasn't so complicated! I guess I am making it more complicated than it has to be, huh?
One of my many self distruction techniques! Making life more difficult than it has to be...

Thank you for all the good advice... It does help to have people that understand :)

God Bless
Angeleyes
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Postby Dallas » Wed Feb 10, 2010 11:17 am

angeleyes13 wrote:But, how and when do the thoughts of alcohol go away? I mean do they last forever? I don't know that I am strong enough for that!


I understand. :wink:

When I first came to AA... I had the exact same thoughts. I thought that I was supposed to have the thoughts -- and, that if the thoughts ever stopped -- this was the "insanity before the next first drink!" :lol:

I had been doing my work to take the 12 Steps... and one morning at 3 am, I discovered that I wasn't having thoughts about drinking! It scared the heck out of me, and for a change... I picked up the phone and called my sponsor.

You can imagine how pleased he and his wife were (not pleased)... that I was calling him at 3 am for a crisis! (When I was struggling to call him at any time)!

I explained to him that I wasn't thinking about drinking so I was sure that I was going to get drunk right then!!! :shock:

I remember him asking "Have you already taken a drink?" I said "No! That's why I'm calling! I want to stay sober but I'm not thinking about drinking so I must be going to drink and get drunk now!"

And, I remember him saying :mrgreen: :twisted: "For Christ's sake you dummy that's what's supposed to happen! The obsession to drink has been removed from you! Now, as long as you don't have any booze in your apartment -- get your butt to sleep and call me in the morning!"

I thought I was supposed to be fighting my alcoholism forever and struggling each 24 hours to not drink!!!!

The longer the alcoholic waits to take the 12 Steps -- they are just punishing themselves with having to fight against drinking... until they lose the fight and return to drinking.

You can go to any "-A" that you want or no "-A" at all. Those choices and decisions only you can make. I will say, though, I hope you have plenty of time left for experimenting with whatever you want to do. If you are alcoholic -- alcoholism is fatal. As alcoholics, we don't have the luxury of getting sober and doing whatever we must do -- "when" we want to do it. We get an opportunity at sobriety on Life's time and not Our time. They are like brief windows of opportunity... the window opens... the window closes. If you don't crawl through the window while it's open... no amount of desire and "wanting to because we're ready" will do us any good. We die drunk. Period.

Believe me, I know this from my own experience. The first time I came to AA, I dragged my feet. I waited it out. I didn't do anything except read a little bit and go to meetings... until one day at 5 1/2 months sober... I was drinking again, and drank for a week without even realizing that I had already started drinking again. I was in Mexico, and each time I "ordered HER drink" I announced to the bartender or coctail waitress... "Oh, this isn't for me! I'm a sober member of AA! I don't drink!"... and often... I was drunk while I was saying it! Yet, the baffling part of my alcoholism was: at the time, I believed what I was saying!

Then, I tried over and over and over and over again... for nearly five months to go back to AA and get sober again... and I couldn't! I couldn't even go for an entire meeting without going out to my car to get a drink to hold me over until the meeting was finished. Most often, I'd have more than "a drink" to hold me over till the end of the meeting... and I would drink until I forgot all about meetings.

I wish you the best.

And, you are making progress... you haven't died yet... and that, my friend, is progress! :wink:

You keep coming back... and regardless if you're drinking or your sober... that's progress!

Now, the trick will be to make enough progress -- while the window of opportunity is open for you.... so that the window will stay open and you'll stay sober.

When I was new... I thought that when people like me, were telling me the things I'm sharing with you -- that they were just trying to scare me into staying sober!

The fact is: there is NO AMOUNT OF FEAR that will keep an alcoholic from their next first drink... forever.

Dallas
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