by knny913 » Mon Jan 25, 2010 12:08 am
Hi Gowtham,
I was hoping to see you back here again.
Happiness comes with working the steps. I know of nobody who has stayed sober for 1 year without doing the work, let alone 4. And if in your case they do, there is no way they cannot be "dry drunks".
The question I have for you is have you completed the first 3 steps? And have you been completely honest with yourself and your God? If you can answer yes to these, then there should be no reason for you to delay your 4th step. Dallas has a great set of charts to help you in your task. (by the way Dallas there is a typo on your Harms chart, the "t" dropped off "dishonest") You can click on the link above to get to the home page, in the left colum you will see 4th step charts, click on them and it will lead you to the charts. Remember that you don't have to be ashamed of your past, this isn't a step to have you feeling that your whole life has been messed up because of your doings. It is a step to help you recognize your part in your troubles, and to see where you have been at fault in your wrong doings, for you to recognize your character defects, and to recognize that even if someone else is at fault you still had a part in the problem. Don't beat yourself up over this step. Remember, as we say "sloth is just a 5 letter word for procatination".
The steps that our founders came up with were not designed to beat us up, they were designed to help us become more aware of ourselves, and to make right as much of our wrongs as we can, so that we can live to be "happy, joyous, and free" the way our God wants us to live. This way we can work the rest of the steps with a better attitude, and start to gain on our self esteems.
The next step (5) is to find someone you can trust to talk to about your findings, they are not to be critical, boisterious, or self rightous, they are to be a good listener. Then after you cleanse yourself of the findings, you can go on the the next step (6) become willing to give up ALL your character defects, and then your next step (7) humbly (I always get on my knees) ask your higher power to take these defects away. 7th step prayer Pg 76.
I can guarantee you that once you have completed these "simple" but Important tasks to the best of your ability, with true honesty and courage, you will start to feel the joy and happiness that we, as members of AA have felt. You will most likely begin to have your "spiritual awakening".
As with anything, you have to work the program, it does not work itself!
Good luck to you,
Keep in touch
Your friend in sobriety
Kenny
