Hello Amanda. Welcome to the site.
I understand. Been there, too. What I did was to contact the local Alcoholics Anonymous groups in the area where I was living. Through them, I eventually discovered all that I needed to know and got the help that I needed to get -- so that I could stay sober.
My suggestion for you, and for anyone else that may be in a similar situation, is to give it a try with AA. It may not be for everyone, but it certainly was the solution for my problem.
And, keep coming back here, too. We're always willing to do whatever we can to help others.