Hi Rich. I understand. I've been going through it for the last 23 1/2 years ... sober... so, one thing for sure that I can report is: I've been able to stay sober through it -- and if I can do it -- so can you and others.
I don't have any "easy way" suggestions. Never found any easier softer ways to deal with it. Sure, I can, and sometimes do, think "Ok. We all get back what we put out -- so, eventually... Life will dish it back to them in spades." And, sometimes, that's the only thing I can safely do -- to deal with it.
What someone else does or says doesn't define me -- only I can define me.
I learned that from "Only an alcoholic can pronounce one as an alcoholic."
But, still... for me, that gives me little consolation.
Spiritually -- I guess I'm supposed to be in a place where I've "ceased fighting anything and everyone." That sounds good -- and it is good -- when I'm spiritually fit enough to be that way!
Sometimes... I resort to some wishful thinking of: "I can't do much about it -- and I'll let God take care of it." -- even when I have thoughts that "God doesn't give a crap about this stuff!"
So, what to do?
Sometimes -- I go after them. Sometimes, I feel like "God gave me a brain to use and doesn't expect me to crawl before anyone or anything." Then, I'll rationalize with a little "self-defense theory" to justify what my next moves will be. And, I make the moves.
Hopefully, we'll have some others here that can give us both some good suggestions on this -- folks that have a more sane and humane way of dealing with it than I do.
Sometimes -- when I go after them -- I start to enjoy it, too much!
Some people seem to only understand one thing -- and that's force and actions that get reversed on them. They only understand "If I screw w/ that guy -- I don't want to take the punishment that he'll return!"
One of my rationalization theories has been "Ok. Maybe if I go after someone else's enemies -- and help them -- Life will end up sending someone to punish my enemies."
Your situation may be serious enough, in the way of, where it would be a good idea for you to see a lawyer. Like I said, I wish I had better answers to share.
Whatever the case -- you'd do better to get some answers or suggestions from someone that has had "more of their sanity restored" than me -- when it comes to things like this.
Let me know what you do so that I can try it, too. And, let me know -- if you'd like some company in going after them! I enjoy lashing and punishing the evil doers that "have it coming to them!"