- Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.

Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.




Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober

Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.

Postby sweetelisum » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:14 pm

Hi. I'm new here. Writing this really hurts, but I don't know who else to turn to.. i feel completely alone and not wanting to live right now. It seems like dying would be better than living like this.
At 26-- I've already got 2 duis under my belt. an auto accident which injured a family and hit a school bus full of kids. I've been assaulted; lied, cheated, stolen, fought people, embarrassed myself to the point that I can't even go into half the bars I used to drink at. I have to change gas stations, liquor stores, so they don't see me as often and even with that they give you the "back again, already?" look. 2 weeks ago I fell and gashed my head open to the point of needing several stitches, went into shock...and was back drinking the next day...for someone with a high IQ i'd say i'm pretty damn stupid....I've been in and out of AA (mostly out) for 9 years now. I nearly had a year sobriety, but in all honesty, I never really worked the program... I need this to stop. I need to get to a meeting but thats difficult without a vehicle but need to find a way. If I worked half as hard at sobriety as I do trying to find a means to go get drunk perhaps things would start looking up. My heart is so heavy its weighing down like a brick across my chest... i'm afraid i'm going to hurt myself or someone else. I'm sorry for such a long ramble. I'm afraid if the drinking itself doesn't kill me I'm just going to take it upon my own hands and deep down inside i know i reallly, truly want to live... but not like this..
sweetelisum
 
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Postby butch » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:38 pm

sweetelisum;
welcome to this forum, it is a good place to be right at this moment. i hear you saying step one, i can't. you have been around the fellowship enough that you know you have to also do step two and step three. He can and let Him. pick up a phone (100 pounds, i know) and call some one to help you get to a meeting. if you Let Him, He will help.
i came very close to injuring family members 9 months ago. after finding the program things have greatly improved. this forum is a good start. i think you can also find great help where you live. the program works if you work it and life is worth living sober, one day a t a time.
my prayers are with you today.
butch
butch
 
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Location: nebraska

Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:30 am

Welcome to the site. I hope that you'll find something here that may help.

Best wishes,

Dallas
Dallas
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Postby Bensober » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:05 am

Welcome to the right place! I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday, who told someone on one day…â€
Bensober
 
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Location: Fresno Ca.

Postby gunner48 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:06 pm

Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went to heaven early

Peace and Love
Gunner
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12 Step Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery | - Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.



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