Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.

Help for alcohol abuse addiction alcoholics who want to stay sober
sweetelisum
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Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 3:52 pm
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Dear God, Let this be the bottom..I'm tired of falling.

Postby sweetelisum » Sun Jun 20, 2010 4:14 pm

Hi. I'm new here. Writing this really hurts, but I don't know who else to turn to.. i feel completely alone and not wanting to live right now. It seems like dying would be better than living like this.
At 26-- I've already got 2 duis under my belt. an auto accident which injured a family and hit a school bus full of kids. I've been assaulted; lied, cheated, stolen, fought people, embarrassed myself to the point that I can't even go into half the bars I used to drink at. I have to change gas stations, liquor stores, so they don't see me as often and even with that they give you the "back again, already?" look. 2 weeks ago I fell and gashed my head open to the point of needing several stitches, went into shock...and was back drinking the next day...for someone with a high IQ i'd say i'm pretty damn stupid....I've been in and out of AA (mostly out) for 9 years now. I nearly had a year sobriety, but in all honesty, I never really worked the program... I need this to stop. I need to get to a meeting but thats difficult without a vehicle but need to find a way. If I worked half as hard at sobriety as I do trying to find a means to go get drunk perhaps things would start looking up. My heart is so heavy its weighing down like a brick across my chest... i'm afraid i'm going to hurt myself or someone else. I'm sorry for such a long ramble. I'm afraid if the drinking itself doesn't kill me I'm just going to take it upon my own hands and deep down inside i know i reallly, truly want to live... but not like this..




butch
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Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:27 pm
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Postby butch » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:38 pm

sweetelisum;
welcome to this forum, it is a good place to be right at this moment. i hear you saying step one, i can't. you have been around the fellowship enough that you know you have to also do step two and step three. He can and let Him. pick up a phone (100 pounds, i know) and call some one to help you get to a meeting. if you Let Him, He will help.
i came very close to injuring family members 9 months ago. after finding the program things have greatly improved. this forum is a good start. i think you can also find great help where you live. the program works if you work it and life is worth living sober, one day a t a time.
my prayers are with you today.
butch

Dallas
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Postby Dallas » Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:30 am

Welcome to the site. I hope that you'll find something here that may help.

Best wishes,

Dallas

Bensober
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Joined: Thu May 28, 2009 8:07 am
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Postby Bensober » Thu Jun 24, 2010 9:05 am

Welcome to the right place! I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday, who told someone on one day…â€




gunner48
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Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:51 pm
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Postby gunner48 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 2:06 pm

Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went to heaven early

Peace and Love
Gunner





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