i am 16 years sober i work a good program i have a home group, a sponser that i use daily,i make meetings at least 4 times a week, about 2 months ago i was walking home and on my staircase to my apt i found a joint. without hesitation i picked it up went upstairs and lit it up not thinking about my actions until after my second puff. by then i was definitely feeling an effect and then feeling totally scared and depressed. i haven't found a need to smoke again but i haven't told anyone because of fear . people trust me in many areas of my life today due to the fact that i am sober. people look to me for help.i am scared that if i tell them they will not trust or love me. i feel i need to get honest because i think about it all the time. it is constantly in my head. Part of me feels what is done is done, but i am afraid if i justify my actions there is a chance that if the situation arises i could do it again.